replica?
Anguish and fear began to well up in her again, but the alu grew angry with herself for such craven thoughts. She and Kaanyr had spent decades trapped beneath the cursed Hellgate Keep. What was a single year?
You didn't do it all alone, she reminded herself. You had companionship. You had Kaanyr.
Is that what they want me to realize? That I need others to make me happy? Is that how I'm supposed to find some measure of benevolence, some deeper understanding of my own wholesomeness?
She dismissed that foolish notion.
Don't let them win, she told herself. Outsmart them. Find a way.
Sighing and trying to regain her confidence, Aliisza pulled the door open and stepped out into the garden plaza. After one step, she stopped and gasped.
The soft glow of moonlight had a strange effect on the trees, gave them a haunting, celestial look. Each leaf seemed to glow with an inner silver light. A gentle breeze whispered through the branches, and Aliisza thought she could make out faint music in the tones. Numerous sets of chimes tinkled softly in the zephyrs, and the fountains gurgled serenely.
'It's quite placating at night, isn't it?' a voice said from behind her, in the shadows. Tauran.
Aliisza spun in place, suddenly on edge and angry again. 'What are you doing here?' she snapped. 'Come to torment me?' She spied him sitting upon one of the benches, previously concealed by a flowering hedge.
The celestial shook his head. 'Not at all,' he replied gently. 'To comfort you, if I may.'
Aliisza tossed her head in aggravated disbelief and turned away from him. 'Don't patronize me,' she sneered. 'You came here to gloat over your trickery.'
'I don't gloat,' the angel said, and his voice held a bit of an edge to it. Something almost dangerous. 'I leave that for your kind.'
'My kind?' Aliisza said, incredulous. 'And what, exactly, is my kind?'
'The self-serving, conniving, manipulative creatures who believe they are above the law and have little regard for anyone other than themselves,' Tauran answered. 'You think you should be allowed to do anything you want, no matter the cost, and you take pointed delight in watching the wretched squirm in your wake. Your kind.'
Aliisza had to laugh at that. 'Thus far, I've seen much of the same from you and yours,' she said. When the angel began to bristle, she added, 'Don't pretend you don't manipulate. Don't pretend you're not self-serving. You told me just enough of the situation to convince me to trust you, that you had my best interests at heart, when all you really wanted was my child. And you think you can make it all better by pretending foolish compassion and gentle sadness.'
'You had every opportunity to turn me down,' he retorted. 'And my interests go far beyond myself. I succeeded in saving your unborn child's life, rescued it from your tainted influences.'
'Ah, at last, your true, disapproving self comes to the fore,' Aliisza crowed. 'I wondered how long it would take, now that you have me trapped here.' Then she gave the angel the most baleful stare she could muster. 'I'll tell you this, though. I'd much rather be my kind than your kind,' she said. 'Arrogant, judgmental, and self- important, too afraid to think big and seize the moment. I may be everything you described, but at least I don't pretend otherwise. I know what I want, and I take what the world has to offer. I don't let any whining, sniveling, unworthy wretch stand in my way.'
'And thus we see the foundation of our differences,' Tauran said quietly, the edge of anger gone. 'You care more about yourself than others, and I care more about others than myself. A crucial difference.'
'How? Why?' Aliisza was honestly flummoxed. 'What is there to possibly gain by caring more for something else than for yourself? How silly!' she said. The alu turned and began to stroll through the garden. She heard the angel rise from the bench and follow her. She laughed again. 'And, by the way, a huge lie. By your account, you should care more about me than about yourself. If that were actually true, you wouldn't have brought me here and locked me in this… this place, knowing I didn't want to be here. How is that caring more for others than yourself?'
'It is precisely because I-and everyone here at the Court-care for your welfare that you are here.'
'You mean the welfare of my baby, don't you?'
'That, too, and another part of the explanation.'
Aliisza snorted in derision.
'If you don't wish to hear it, I shall leave you to your thoughts,' Tauran said in response to her gesture, 'but you asked.'
'I'm beginning to regret it,' Aliisza said. 'Leave me alone. There is nothing you can do to comfort me. You and your tribunal consigned me to be here, knowing full well that it is a torture to me to be alone, with no creature contact.'
'In the hopes that you would come to see the power and joy of making others happy, rather than just yourself.'
Aliisza laughed again, but it was bitter. 'I am a girl of carnal pleasures. I crave the delights of the senses. The touch, the smell of others nearby. They experience what I lust for and feel some joy and happiness, too.'
'That is a false joy, short-lived, and such a tiny fraction of what is possible if you'd only open your heart to-'
'Enough!' Aliisza interrupted. She spun to face the celestial across a low-walled pool where a fountain with the statues of two human children at play bubbled in the cool night air. 'Do not preach to me! I was sent here to contemplate. There was nothing in the judge's words about being tormented by the likes of you!'
Tauran spread his hands in acquiescence and remained silent, though he did not leave.
Aliisza could feel him watching her as she sat down upon the wall of the fountain, fighting to keep from doing the unthinkable. She would not cry in front of the angel. She could not let him see that.
To divert her feelings, she dropped a hand down to the surface of the water and trailed her fingers through it, making wave patterns and watching them mingle and vanish. From where she sat, the moon reflected off the water, though it was distorted and wavered incessantly. She thought about the child that had been growing inside her, thought about all the times in her recent past when she had been reluctant, afraid of harm, and at last understood why. She felt a sense of cold emptiness inside her because the child was gone. Or rather, she was gone from her child. She nearly gave in, then, nearly began to cry despite her struggle not to.
Tauran touched the surface of the water on the opposite side of the pool, and the moon faded from sight in its reflection. Instead, Aliisza saw a different kind of light radiating from within the pool, a warm, flickering light that she recognized as that of lamps. Despite the waves on the water, the image steadied and became clear.
The alu gasped. She saw herself in that image. Not her reflection, but a picture of her, lying still upon a bed, covered by a soft sheet. A figure, a creature with the facial features of a human woman, beautiful and serene, stood beside Aliisza's form, gazing down at her. Like Tauran, the woman had white feathery wings, and she wore the same style of white draping garments. She turned and walked out of the image, leaving Aliisza's body in full view.
'My body,' Aliisza said, half to herself. 'My corpse, my husk.' She swallowed the thick lump she felt in her throat. 'With my child inside. The child you took away from me, that I will never see,' she snarled, and turned away.
'You asked before how I could explain the dichotomy of my benevolence. How I could care for you more than I care for myself, and yet do this unspeakable thing to you. There, in that image, lies your answer, Aliisza. All beings deserve my care, my compassion. Some accept it, embrace it, return it. Others do not. When those others force me to choose, I choose to defend the oppressed, the victims. That is the way of Tyr, his teachings.'
'So, who will defend me from your oppression? Who will grant me relief from my victimization?'
'When you choose to deny others the respect and compassion they deserve, you fall outside of the circle. You are no longer on equal footing.'
'No longer worthy, no longer eligible for your care and compassion,' the alu spat with all the sarcasm she could muster. 'It must feel good, being so perfect.'
Tauran's sigh sounded tired, full of regrets. 'I will not debate this with you any longer, Aliisza. You chose the path you have followed. Only you can find a route to a new path, through your actions and deeds. When you understand that, when you are ready to change, to show those around you the same consideration that you would
