“Rohini must have a portal to the Hells. She couldn’t travel back and forth without one. Since my … path, is clearly not working, I might as well come with you and find hers.” He smirked. “It’s just convenient.”
“Or we could kill you,” Havilar piped. “That would send you back.”
He glowered. “That doesn’t work on
“Havi, go,” Farideh said. “We don’t have much time. Brin, go with her. Keep your eyes open. If you run into Ashmadai-”
“Yes, Mehen,” Havilar said, sliding into her glaive’s harness. “We’ll be careful.”
Words caught in Farideh’s mouth-she wanted to warn Havilar, to snap at her for being flippant, to tell her she loved her dearly in case something happened. To say she was sorry for everything that had brought them here. There wasn’t time. She hugged her twin tight. “Be careful.”
“I’ll try,” Havilar said, squeezing her back. “You be careful, too. You don’t need me to tell you, worrywart, but do it anyway.” Farideh chuckled.
She made a point of hugging Brin as well, stiff and awkward as it felt. “Don’t let her fight any cultists,” she murmured. “Please.”
“I’ll try,” he said.
Havilar eyed Lorcan a moment before giving Farideh one last, significant look-a reminder that being careful extended to the cambion-and heading down the wall with Brin following.
You
“What in all the planes were you doing in an Ashmadai safe-house?” he asked quietly.
“Finding a way out of this pact.”
His eyes tightened, and he folded his arms over his chest. “How clever of you. No better way to the peaks of the Hells than clinging to the god of sin’s most brutal followers.”
“Fortunately I have other options,” she said, ignoring the insult. “If you’re going to follow me, you ought to put your disguise back on.”
“You
“Put it on, or don’t follow me,” she said. She turned from him, her anger getting the better of her. “Gods, I can’t believe all this time you could make yourself look human. It was just too much fun popping up and putting me in danger, wasn’t it?”
“You
“You mean ‘trying to drag me out of where you couldn’t get me’?”
“You ripped me out of my disguise and into my proper skin. I think we’re even on that score.”
She spun on him. “I used the amulet to protect myself from you! You don’t get
“An enormous waste of its powers,” he said tightly. “I’d never hurt you like Rohini will.”
She couldn’t deny Rohini’s danger-but that didn’t mean Lorcan wasn’t dangerous himself. The amulet wouldn’t have done anything if he weren’t. She pulled herself straight and stared him down. “You hurt me enough.”
He stepped closer, and her pulse sped. “And I save you plenty. I could still get you out of here. You know I’m right-you are not a match for archdevils and aboleths.”
“Maybe I’m not,” she said. “But I’m not a coward.” She walked away. “Besides,” she said, reaching for the handholds in the broken wall, “you don’t have your portal.”
He grabbed her arm. “I could fly. Carry you out of here. I could fly you to the House of Knowledge if you’re really set on this mad plan.”
Whipping through the cool rain, dozens of feet above the slick roofs of the city, the cobbled roads, with only Lorcan to keep her from falling-Farideh shuddered. He’d go where he wanted and she’d be stuck, clinging to his neck.
“Take your hand off me before the amulet makes you.” She climbed down the wall to the lower level. If he was going to be difficult, that was not her problem at all. Much as she found herself hoping Lorcan would help, she knew perfectly well it wasn’t in his nature. Changing Lorcan would be as impossible as saving him. Let it go, she told herself as she clambered over the ancient lava flow.
He dropped through the open stairwell and landed in front of her, holding up a hand to ease her down. She didn’t take it.
“You trust me enough to hear your plans when I could easily go over to Rohini,” he said. “I think you don’t really care how it turns out, you just want to be seen to make the effort. And who would blame you? Mehen never appreciated all you were. He shouldn’t be surprised if you leave him to his fate.”
She bore it, only watching the cracks in his facade. Something had changed. It was so much like Havi, upset and not sure why she was upset-only lashing out because it wasn’t coming clear. Waiting for Farideh to puzzle it out.
“I don’t have time to coddle you,” she said after a moment. “So help me, or go to Rohini-whatever your plans are.”
“Fine!” he snapped. “But don’t blame me when you end up dead!”
“You’re afraid, aren’t you? You’re afraid you won’t make it home alive.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“It doesn’t make you a coward. We’re all-”
“I am
“Many thanks,” she said. But still he had that uncomfortable, frustrated look. He flexed his wings in a fidgety way, but wouldn’t say any more. After a moment, Farideh left the building. Lorcan could fix himself.
But in short order he was beside her again.
“You could have let that sword fall,” he said. “I know you were thinking of letting it.”
“I didn’t want you to die,” she said, growing annoyed. “And besides, you did the same thing as me-pushing me away like that, telling me to run. If saving you is such a slight, then you were just as bad.”
“That’s not the same!”
“It’s exactly the same. You would have died.”
“I would have died anyway-they wanted to kill me, you stupid girl.
“And you could have flown away and found some other heir!” she shouted. “But you didn’t!”
“I …” Lorcan trailed off, surprised, and Farideh realized he hadn’t been baiting her: it had not occurred to him to flee. The clearest, simplest action-the one thing selfish Lorcan should have found obvious to his very core-and he hadn’t done it. Because he’d been afraid that
She wasn’t just a piece in his collection, and he didn’t know what to do with that. Suddenly she couldn’t quite look at him.
“Or maybe I wanted you to owe me,” she said, though it was a lie, though it was in no way what she would have done, though it made no sense even if she had done it. It was less complicated than what threatened to be true. “And now you do. So you’ll help me face Rohini?” she asked, turning the topic.
But Lorcan was still agitated. “Darling, she is going to
There, that was the Lorcan she knew. That raw moment might never have happened, and they might go back to what they always were: her sword, his treasure. “If you don’t want to lose your set, you should help me.”
For the barest of seconds, she thought he might storm off. She turned to walk away, only to find herself scooped up in Lorcan’s arms, and vaulting into the empty air. His wings flapped heavily, gusting the air around him as he sought the new balance of their combined weight. Farideh glanced down once, at the street below and the buildings growing smaller and smaller. Her stomach turned and she wrapped her arms around Lorcan’s neck tight