Not for the first time, Linden wondered what Sheriff Lytton had said or done to Joan during the brief time when she had been in his care. When Julius Berenford had driven to Haven Farm after Covenant’s murder, he had found Joan there: confused and frightened, with no memory of what had transpired; but able to speak and respond. Wishing to search for Covenant and Linden without interference, Julius had sent Joan to County Hospital with Barton Lytton; and by the time they had reached the hospital Joan’s mind was gone. Linden had asked Lytton what he had done, of course, pushed hire for an answer; but he had told her nothing.
“And she was getting worse,” Linden went on. “More frantic. Hysterical. She hit herself more often. Sometimes she refused to eat, went days without food. She fought us so hard that it took three orderlies and a nurse to fix an IV. She began to lose alarming amounts of blood”
“What changed?” Roger repeated intently. “What did you do?”
Linden hesitated on the edge of risks which she had not meant to take. Without warning, the air of Joan’s room seemed crowded with dangerous possibilities. How much of the truth could she afford to expose to this unformed and foolish young man? But then she tightened her resolve and met his question squarely. “Three months ago, I gave her back her wedding ring.”
Without glancing away from him, Linden reached to the collar of Joan’s nightgown and lifted it aside to reveal the delicate silver chain hanging around her neck. From the end of the chain, still hidden by the nightgown, dangled a white gold wedding band. Joan had lost so much weight that she could not have kept a ring on any of her fingers.
Roger’s smile hinted at sudden hungers. “I’m impressed, Dr. Avery. That was obviously the right thing to do. But I would not have expected-” He stopped short of saying that he would not have expected such insight from her. “How did you figure it out? What made you think of it?”
Committed now, Linden shrugged. “It just came to me one night.
“I don’t know how much you know about the end of your father’s life. For the last two weeks before he was killed, he took care of Joan.” On Haven Farm. “She had already lost her mind, but she wasn’t like this. In some ways, she was much worse. Practically rabid. The only thing that calmed her was the taste of your father’s blood. When he needed to feed her, or clean her, he would let her scratch him until she drew blood. Sucking it off his skin would bring her back to herself-for a little while. ”
Behind Linden’s professional detachment, a secret anger made her hope that she might yet shock or frighten Roger Covenant.
“Now she hits herself, Mr. Covenant. She wants the pain for some reason. She needs to hurt herself. I don’t know why. As punishment?” For her role in her ex-husband’s murder? “It certainly looks like she’s punishing herself.
“And she won’t tolerate a bandage. Her own bleeding seems to comfort her. Like a kind of restitution-It helps her regain a little balance. I tried to think of some way to sustain that. If restitution calmed her, I wanted her to have more of it.
“Her ring,” the symbol of her marriage, “was the only thing I had that I could restore.”
At the time, Linden had placed the chain around Joan’s neck with acute trepidation. The language of that gesture could so easily have been misinterpreted; taken as a reminder of guilt rather than as a symbol of love and attachment. However, Joan had lapsed into her comparatively pliant trance as soon as the ring had touched her skin.
Since then Linden had often feared that she had made a terrible mistake: that it was precisely the reminder of guilt which calmed Joan: that Joan’s catatonia endured because she had been fundamentally defeated by the touch of white gold. Nevertheless Linden did not remove the ring.
Joan’s present trance was all that kept her alive. She could not have survived her battering desperation much longer.
Roger nodded as if Linden’s explanation made perfect sense to him. “You did well. Again, I’m impressed.” For the first time since Linden had met him-hardly an hour ago-he seemed satisfied. “I can see why you’re reluctant to let anyone else take care of her.”
At once, however, he resumed his irrational insistence. “But you’ve done all you can. She won’t get any better than this unless I help her.”
He raised his hand to forestall Linden’s protest. “There are things you don’t know about her. About this situation. And I can’t explain them. Words won’t-” He paused to rephrase his point. “They can’t be conveyed in words. The knowledge has to be earned. And you haven’t earned it. Not the way I have.
“Let me show you.”
She should stop him, Linden thought stupidly. This had gone on too long. Yet she did nothing to intervene as he approached the bed. He had touched a forgotten vulnerability to paralysis deep within her.
Gracelessly he seated himself as close to his mother as the bed rail permitted. A touch of excitement flushed his cheeks. His respiration quickened. His hands trembled slightly as he undid the restraint on her right wrist.
Flowers cast splotches of colour into Linden’s eyes, deep red and blue, untroubled yellow. A few minutes ago, she had known exactly what kind of flowers they were; now she had no idea. The sky outside the window seemed unattainable, too far away to offer any hope. The sunlight shed no warmth.
Joan stared past or through Roger vacantly. Linden expected her to strike herself, but she did not. Perhaps the fact that her hand was free had not yet penetrated her subterranean awareness.
Roger lifted his palms to Joan’s cheeks, cupped them against her slack flesh. His trembling had become unmistakable. He seemed to quiver with eagerness, avid as a deprived lover. Unsteadily he turned her head until he could gaze straight into the absence of her eyes.
“Mother.” His voice shook. “It’s me. Roger.”
Linden bit down on her lip. All the air in the room seemed to concentrate around the bed, too thick to breathe. In the bonfire where Joan’s captors had destroyed their right hands, she had seen eyes like fangs look out hungrily at Covenant’s impending murder. At the time, she had believed that they held malice. But now she thought that the emotion in them might have been despair; an emptiness which could not be filled.
“Mother.”
Joan blinked several times. Her pupils contracted.
With an effort that seemed to stretch the skin of her forehead, her eyes came into focus on her son.
“Roger?” Her disused voice crawled like a wounded thing between her lips. “Is it you?”
Suddenly stern, he told her, “Of course it’s me. You can see that.”
Involuntarily Linden recoiled a step. She tasted blood, felt a pain in her lip. Roger sounded disdainful, vexed, as though Joan were a servant who had disappointed him.
“Oh, Roger.” Tears spilled from Joan’s eyes. Her free hand fumbled to his shoulder, clutched at his neck. “It’s been so long.” Her face held no expression: its muscles lacked the strength to convey what she felt. “I’ve waited so long. It’s been so hard. Make it stop.”
“Stop complaining.” He scolded her as if she were a child. “It isn’t as bad as all that. I had to wait until I was twenty-one. You know that.”
How-? Linden panted as if she had been struck in the stomach. How-?
How had Roger reached Joan?
How could Joan have known anything?
“I’ve been good,” Joan responded, pleading. “I have.” Her damaged voice seemed to flinch and cower at his feet. “See?”
Dropping her arm from his neck, she flung her fist at her bruised temple. Fresh blood smeared her knuckles as she lowered her arm.
“I’ve been good,” she begged. “Make it stop. I can’t bear it.”
“Nonsense, Mother,” Roger snorted. “Of course you can bear it. That’s what you do.” But then, apparently, he took pity on her, and his manner softened. “It won’t be much longer. I have some things to do. Then I’ll make it stop. We’ll make it stop together.”
Releasing her cheeks, he rose to his feet, turned toward Linden.
As soon as he left the bed, Joan began to scream-a frail, rending sound that seemed to rip from her throat like fabric tearing across jagged glass. As if in sympathy, the pulse monitor emitted a shrill call.
“You see, Dr. Avery?” he remarked through his mother’s cries. “You really have no choice. You have to let
