'Safe from what?'
She stared at me, wildly conflicted, then let it all spill out: 'From women, honey. Sick women! It's called Agent X, but it's some kind of disease like rabies. It's a real epidemic. It infects everyone, but it starts with women. They're out there like-like Typhoid Mary or something, crazy, and if they catch you, you get it. Or you can also catch it from men, once they've been infected, but either way we're not supposed to go outside: 'Beware any aggressive, unusual, or disheveled-looking people. ' She giggled hysterically. 'That's us, isn't it?'
With that it hit me that my mother had flipped. She was imagining all this, getting lost in some kind of paranoid, psychotic episode. The fear I had been feeling turned inside out and became an entirely different kind of terror, one bound up in pity and loneliness and infantile need. What was I going to do? I was still a minor-what would happen to me? Ward of the state? I had no relatives to take me in, we had no money. I could feel the tears spilling down my cheeks.
'Mum,' I begged. 'Come on. It's okay. It's going to be okay.' I gingerly took her by the arm. 'Come on. Come sit down and rest. You're okay. See? It's okay, you just need to take it easy. Everything's going to be fine…'
She was resisting my gentle attempts to pull her.
'What do you think you're doing?' she erupted at last. 'I'm not crazy!' The way she said this-the wry edge to her voice-was so completely normal that it cut through the strangler vines of fear like a machete. I continued to try to lead her by the arm, but my own arms had gone wobbly, and she wouldn't budge.
'Come on,' I insisted weakly.
'No. Lulu, let go.' Somehow, she caught wind of the loony direction things had taken and cracked a smile.
'What's so funny?' I said, grinning back against my will. That opened the floodgates, and we were both wracked with weeping laughter, expelling the suffocating fear like bad air. After a few minutes, it died down, and we sat on the nubby orange couch to catch our breaths.
Mum got ahold of herself first. 'Honey, I swear I'm not crazy. This is real. I wish it weren't, but it is.'
Those words came as a cold soaking, though less utterly oppressive than before. 'Okay,' I said, wiping tears off my face. Then I frowned and shook my head. 'Mum, I'm still confused. When did this happen? How long has it been going on?'
'I don't know, but it's all over the country, so it wasn't just overnight.'
'All over the country!' Disbelief cushioned the blow. Part of me was still absolutely confident that this would all turn out to be a load of crap.
'That's what the people on the radio said: 'All population centers nationwide.' It's martial law, honey!'
'Well, what are we supposed to do? You said women carry it. Does that mean we're quarantined or something? Is there an inoculation we're supposed to get?'
'No, they just want us locked up.'
'Are you kidding? What about men?'
'They said men can catch it from women, but I think it's all the same thing once you're infected. I'm sorry, baby; I couldn't make sense of it either. It didn't sound like they had a whole lot of information themselves.'
'They must have said what to do. What if we come down with it? What are the symptoms?'
'They didn't say anything about that. Just that we're to stay indoors and keep listening to the radio.'
'What if we get sick and have to go out for help?'
'They said not to go out for any reason.'
'Well, that's nice. And what if some of those-what did you say it was?-Agent X women come knocking on our door? What do we do then?'
She could only shrug, saying, 'We hide, I guess.'
CHAPTER TWO
The MREs were actually not bad. The food was all right, but more than that, they exhibited a sense of fun that I wouldn't have credited to the military. Their olive drab wrappers concealed playful items like miniature bottles of Tabasco, instant cocoa mix, cookies, and candy. Each MRE had a little surprise of some kind, and for two days my mother and I did nothing but sit at the kitchen table with the radio squawking horrors between us, peeling open MREs at mealtimes and idly trading the contents. From time to time we would cry really hard.
This is what we heard on the one station we could find, repeated over and over in English and Spanish:
'This is the Emergency Broadcast Network. This is not a test. Repeat, this is not a test. You are listening to an official broadcast by your federal government. The epidemic of Maenad Cytosis, also known as Agent X, has infiltrated all but the most isolated pockets of the country. Because of a catastrophic breakdown of civil authority, a state of martial law has been declared, and all citizens are ordered to remain indoors so that comprehensive decontamination efforts may be undertaken. At this time, all population centers nationwide are under quarantine until further notice, and the interstate highway system remains closed to civilians. All government services have been suspended, and emergency officials have been moved to secure locations. A network of safe zones is being established for civilians, but until these are officially operational, no one may seek refuge outside of their homes. All civil-defense shelters, military facilities, and government compounds are classified as shoot-to-kill zones. This is for your protection. Do not approach military cordons. Stay inside. Barricade all windows and doors, and make every effort to give your dwelling an abandoned appearance. For your safety, all women must be segregated and contained, even if they do not exhibit symptoms of Maenad contagion. Once exposed to the airborne disease agent, they may change without warning, transmitting the contact form of Agent X to men and women alike. Beware any aggressive, unusual, or disheveled-looking people. Likewise, anyone with serious injuries or who is critically ill is a potential source of infection, as it is thought that their weakened immune systems make them vulnerable to the airborne pathogen. No matter how apparently weak, unconscious, or near death, they must be securely contained and treated with extreme caution. If you are low on food, water, or essential medical supplies, do not venture into the open, even if you hear military convoys or other official movement. All efforts are being made to come to your relief, but the scale of the crisis demands patience. You will be saved. Stay tuned to this station for news and official information. This is not a test.'
The numbing sameness of the reports was frustrating, as well as the lack of specifics. It was like a tape loop that had been left playing. 'They must be blowing everything all out of proportion,' I said. 'Are people dying like flies, or is it some kind of mass hysteria? You said you didn't see any bodies or anything when you were out there.'
'No.'
'And obviously neither of us is sick, so the whole airborne thing can't be as bad as they're making it out to be. And what the hell do they mean, women may change? Change into what? It all sounds fishy.'
'Don't swear,' my mother said, stirring her Sanka.
'Well, it makes me nuts.'
'I know. I feel there's something we should be doing, but I can't imagine what.'
'We can't sit here forever, that's for sure.'
'Where can we go? I don't want somebody taking pot-shots at us.'
'I know,' I said. 'But we're going to have to let somebody know we're here. We don't even have a phone. What about that old guy, Cowper, or even those guys over at Stoner Central? As long as we don't sneak up on them, I think they'd at least talk to us. We could take them a couple of MREs.'
'We might need those. And if they were home, don't you think we'd have seen them by now? We haven't seen a soul in weeks. And by the way, Lulu, he's not some 'old guy,' he's your father.'
'Whatever, but it's worth a try. I've seen his car there. Besides, even if nobody's home, they might at least have some food or something.'
'You mean break in? Good heavens no!' My mother-paragon of virtue.
'Oh please.'
'And be caught looting? Uh-uh, thanks but no thanks.'
'Well, can we at least see if they're home?'
