'Extra! Extra! Read all about us!' Meg greeted me at my locker between classes on Monday and handed me a copy of the McKinley Monitor.
I grabbed the paper, and my eyes went straight to the headline about the Club and a picture of us that was on the front page.
'Oh, I didn't realize it was so big,' I remarked as I tried to not have a panic attack.
I raced to the girls' bathroom, checked the stalls to make sure I was alone, and sat down. it was all pretty much the standard story that I fell was already getting pretty old. . until we got to the end.
Rumors about the Club have been swirling the last few weeks, especially among the males at McKinley.
'All that estrogen in one place can't be good, 'said junior Todd, Chesney. 'I just think all this no-dating stuff is a bunch of crap.'
'I really haven't seen too much of a change in the chicks at school, except that they are a little too busy to hang,' adds senior Derek Simpson.
Despite some concerns of the male population at McKinley, the Lonely Hearts Club doesn't appear to be slowing down anytime soon.
'I'm really excited to see what happens next, 'said Bloom. 'there really doesn't seem to be an end in sight.'
One thing is for sure. this reporter looks forward to her standing date every Saturday night, thanks to Penny Bloom and her lonely heart.
I just stared at the last words: Penny Bloom and her lonely heart.
My stomach tightened as the realization sank in that the entire school was going to read this. the entire school What were people going to think of me after this got around?
I FELT LIKE I'D BEEN CUT open. I was exposed. So I guess it was fitting to be in Bio class dissecting our pig, when my quiet punk-rock lab partner Tyson said, 'Um, . Penny. There's something, urn, I wanted to talk to you about.' He leaned back on the chair and stared at his hands. 'Um, I read about that club of yours in the paper. is it true that you can't date anybody if you're in it?'
'Well, yes, but there's more to the Club than that,' I replied.
For the first time ever, Tyson looked me directly in the eyes. 'You know, not every guy in this school is a jerk.'
I was taken aback, 'I don't think…'
He tucked his hair behind his ears, 'Maybe some of us deserve a chance.'
I began to nod slowly.
'You know, it's really hard for a guy to get up the courage to ask a girl out.'
I looked down at the table, not sure what to say next.
'I was finally going to do it — and then I read the article. Now it's useless, because Morgan can't even go on a date.'
My jaw dropped open, and I turned around to where Morgan and her lab partner were reading from the syllabus.
'Don't look!' Tyson said sharply, sinking down in his seat.
Oh. My, God.
Tyson liked Morgan! Why couldn't he have admitted it earlier?
'Just forget that I said anything.' He opened up his notebook and started to vigorously write something down. I peeked over his hunched shoulder and saw that all over the paper were words —
most likely lyrics. I wanted to grab the notebook out of his hands and read it. I'd noticed him writing things down before — I just thought he was doodling or writing down his band's name over and over again. Little did I know that he was pouring his heart onto the page.
I walked to the cafeteria in a daze. While I was waiting in line, debating between the pizza and chicken nuggets, I heard that awful high-pitched voice.
'Ohmygod! How pathetic!'
Missy was standing next to me with a couple of Missy wannabes.
I grabbed a slice of pizza and a bottle of water and headed to the cash register. She followed closely behind me.
'Guys, ohmygod look, it's lonely Penny. Where's your group of followers, Penny?' Missy whipped her head from side to side dramatically, looking around the cafeteria. then she got in my face, her herd giggling behind her. 'Do you only let pathetic people into your club?'
I rolled my eyes and tried to move around her, but she moved to block me.
'Are you even being serious?' I asked back. 'What exactly is your problem?' More people were watching now.
Missy opened her eyes wide, trying to look all innocent.
'Problem? Moi? No, no, I just think it's so sad that you're so lonely.' the Missy-lites high-fived each other. 'this is ridiculous. . '
I tried to turn around, but Missy grabbed my elbow. 'What? I can't join your club? Oh, watt — I can't, because guys actually want to date me.'
A voice came from behind me. 'You can't join because we only allow people who have an IQ.' Missy dropped her grip, and I turned around and saw Diane standing there with her arms folded across her chest. 'And, we usually prefer people who have their own sense of self Nice top, Missy.' Diane motioned toward Missy's scoop-neck sweater with a tie at the waist. 'That is so me, two years ago.'
I thought that would be it, but then Diane leaned in to Missy and said, 'You can try to be me all you want. He'll never date you.'
if humanly possible, I bet smoke would've come from Missy's ears. I was enjoying the moment so much I was a little startled when Diane linked her arm in mine and said, 'Let's not waste any more of our time, Pen.'
We got a round of applause when we reached our group of tables, Diane curtsied.
'Hey, guys!' A loud voice silenced the group. I looked over my shoulder to see Rosanna Shaw, a senior, with her lunch tray. She put it down in the small space between me and Tracy. 'Do you mind moving over?' she said to Tracy.
Tracy shifted over and Rosanna sat down. 'I absolutely loved, LOVED the article, guys. What's going on?' Rosanne asked, as if there was something important she was missing.
I shrugged my shoulders. 'Nothing, we were just talking about our days — ' 'Anyways, you aren't going to believe what happened to me this morning when I was getting ready for school. .' Rosanna started telling this overly long story that I think had something to do with her losing the hot water in her shower, but it was getting so drawn out I had to stop paying attention. I looked around the table and saw everybody looking down.
Kara leaned in to say something to Morgan.
'Watt, I'm not finished yet.'' Rosanna exploded.
'Um, actually,' Diane said, 'people are allowed to talk amongst themselves at lunch.'
A few people at the table laughed.
'Oh, I'm sorry. Guess I'll have to catch up on the rules later. I just think it's rude to interrupt people.'
Rosanna continued to talk for the rest of lunch. Not surprisingly, most people left the table early.
'Ugh, Penny, we seriously need to develop some kind of process to join,' Tracy said on the way to my locker. 'After the article, more people are going to want to become members, and I don't necessarily think for the right reasons. You can't seriously think that Rosanna Shaw is for female bonding.
She just wants a bigger audience for her lame stories.'
I hesitated. 'I know she can be annoying, but I think we should at least give her a chance.'
'I guess. Hey — aren't you impressed I didn't yell at her or anything? I think this Club is mellowing me out!'
I was shaking my head as I retrieved my books for the rest of the afternoon.
