his newest quote.
'Hey, what's so funny?'
I almost didn't recognize the voice.
Ryan. He was smiling at me.
'Oh.' I hadn't talked to him in weeks. I had been waiting for this moment, but didn't know what to do. 'Oh, I just got a funny text.'
'Well, it's good to see you smile again, Bloom.'
I didn't know how to take that. 'Um…' it was good to be talking to him again. if only I could've figured out what to say. I decided to be honest. 'I guess I could say the same thing to you.'
He laughed. 'Yeah, you're right. Been a tough few weeks, huh?'
I just nodded. Where had this come from?
'Well.' He shut his locker. 'Have a great thanksgiving. I'll see you when we get back.' He touched my shoulder as he walked off My heart sank.
Right then I got another text from Nate, but I deleted it without looking. Funny quotes were all well and good, but that's not what I wanted.
It scared me that that brief encounter with Ryan meant so much to me.
I closed my eyes. I was thankful for the Club. For not dating.
Because there was no way Ryan Bauer could do anything but break my heart.
'PENNY LANE, YOU AREN'T GOING to wear that are you?'
Mom asked when I walked down to the kitchen on thanksgiving morning.
I looked down and inspected my outfit — a nice pair of jeans and a long-sleeved tee. 'Ah, yes. this is standard Bloom holiday wear,' She was busy wiping down the kitchen counter and looked more stressed than usual.
'I know, but we have guests this year.'
'Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize the Queen of England was stopping by.'
'Penny Lane!' Mom snapped at me. I had forgotten how much entertaining took out of her. Rita and I had been doing our best to help her, peeling potatoes and cutting up vegetables. I had the cuts on my hand to prove it.
Dad walked in with the newspaper rolled up in his hand. 'Penny Lane, please change for your mother, will you? She's a little upset that Lucy isn't coming home this weekend.'
this was the first holiday our whole family wasn't together. Lucy was spending thanksgiving with her fiance's family in Boston.
Mom wiped the sweat off her brow. 'I know she'll be spending a whole week at Christmas, but that's going to be spent getting ready for the wedding. .'
Rita entered the room in jeans and a t-shirt.
'Girls, change right this instant!'
As we walked upstairs Rita asked, 'What did I miss?' I just shook my head. Happy thanksgiving to me. Rita could tell that I was a nervous wreck.
'Penny, it's going to be fine!' she said. 'You've got to be the bigger person. You don't want him to have any power.'
The Taylor's were going to arrive in less than an hour, and I still had no idea what I was going to say to Nate. to be honest, I didn't even know what I was going to feel like when I saw him. Angry?
Sad? E-mails and texts were one thing, but what would I feel when I looked in his eyes? that was going to reveal a lot. I just hoped I would be able to stay strong. He wasn't going to get to me. I had moved on.
I went to my room and found the white halter top Diane had lent me after Homecoming, when she told me that I needed to accentuate 'what your mama gave you.' So I put that on with black-and-white pinstripe pants and black heels. I headed downstairs thinking that I looked a lot better. . maybe a little too good for my father, 'Uh, is that top new, Penny Lane?' Dad aid, as he nervously looked at my outfit 'Oh, Dave, relax,' Mom said 'She's filled out nicely.'
the doorbell rang, and I tried to take a few deep breaths. Rita grabbed my hand and whispered, 'Don't let him win.'
Win? What was there to win? the door opened and there was an explosion of activity — my parents embracing Mr. and Mrs. Taylor and exchanges of cheerful greetings.
Mrs. Taylor turned to me. 'Oh, Penny, look at you!' She hugged me tightly. 'Oh, sweetie, you look fantastic.' She let go of me and I turned around.
And there he was. With a look on his face — I couldn't tell whether it was shy or smug.
'Hey, Penny.'
I opened my mouth and tried to say something, anything. But it was hard. I thought about what Diane had said about Ryan being in her life for so long. Here was Nate in front of me, Nate whom I had always known. I thought that maybe my last memory of him would drown out the others, but they didn't. Seeing each other was such a routine, and even though we'd always say 'Hey, Penny' and 'Hey, Nate 'like it was no big deal, we usually said it like we shared a secret between us. Because we did. And now it was bigger than before.
I hated seeing him. I hated him being here. Because I hated what I was feeling. As much as I wanted to scream and run away, I could hardly breathe. I felt the same excitement that I would always feel when I saw him. this was going to be harder than I had ever imagined.
'Here.' Rita shoved the Taylors' coats in my arms. 'Penny will hang these up.'
I gave Rita a grateful look as I darted to the closet. I spent more time than necessary hanging up the coats. the entire time I sensed Nate's eyes on my back. And I enjoyed it.
'So, what can I get you to drink?' I asked the second the last of the jackets was on a hanger.
'I've got it, sweetie.' Dad began to take drink orders.
'No, Dad!' Rita protested. 'Let me and Penny help.'
I turned to head to the kitchen, when I felt a tug on my arm.
'Penny,' Nate said as he enveloped me in a hug. 'I missed you so much.'
'Aww,' Nate's mom cooed. 'He's been talking about nothing but seeing you again, sweetie.'
I just stood there with Nate's arms around me.
'Come on, Penny.' Rita came over and Nate quickly loosened his grasp. 'We've got to go to the kitchen.' She turned to Nate. 'You know, the room with all the sharp knives.'
As he backed away, I examined him for the first time since he'd completely crushed me. And it was strange, because he wasn't the same as my memory of him. Had I not noticed before how flat his face was? And he had these tiny pale, lifeless eyes.
I was starting to breathe a little easier.
I hung out in the kitchen with Rita and Mom, helping to get ready while Mrs, Taylor grilled us with questions about school.
Fortunately, the guys were downstairs watching the football game. it was the first time that this sexist tradition didn't bother me.
I went into the dining room to pour water in the glasses and noticed that Mom had put me right next to Nate. there was no way I would be able to avoid a conversation with him. there wasn't enough time to switch places — everyone was already coming in for dinner. As I grabbed a plate, I realized that Mom had certainly outdone herself this year with food, I could hardly fit everything on my plate the first go-round, although I did skip the cranberry sauce as I was afraid it would stain my shirt. the cranberry sauce and the to furkey. My parents weren't going to let tradition get in the way of their beliefs, so I'd gotten used to filling myself up on salad, mashed potatoes, wild rice, and sweet potatoes.
Nate followed me in line at the counter. He reached across me to grab a roll, then placed his other hand on
