Sinning Magicians, how long had I been roaming around? But did it even matter? Now I needed to go home. And sleep, sleep, sleep—come hell or high water!
Sir Shurf Lonli-Lokli was waiting for me in the living room, sad and stern.
“I’m glad to see you in one piece,” he said. “When I got home, your absence didn’t seem strange. After all, we came to this city on business. But by the next day—”
“What? The next day! Gosh, how long was I gone?”
“To answer that question, I’d have to know when you left. I’ve been waiting for you for four days—but I was gone for a while myself.”
“Oh, my!” I groaned. “No time to sleep now. First, I have to figure this all out. Where is my only joy in life? Where is my sweet little bottle of Elixir?”
“In your traveling bag, I guess. I took the liberty of putting it in the closet, since you had managed to leave it right in the middle of the living room floor for all the World to see. For a while I thought maybe you had measured the room and made it the centerpiece for a special reason. Then I realized that wasn’t your style, and I cleared it out of the way.”
“Sir Shurf, what a nice treat!” I took a hefty gulp of Elixir of Kaxar. My weariness abated for a time. “Good Old Shurf, who’s not calling me ‘Lady Marilyn’ or braying like an insane donkey, but only lives to look after my welfare. I think I must have died and gone to heaven!”
“I don’t think it makes sense to call you ‘Lady Marilyn’ any more, just as it doesn’t make sense to stand on ceremony with someone who’s been with you through thick and thin, and has even gotten to know—”
“A very sweet and kind version of Shurf Lonli-Lokli,” I said with a laugh. “It’s for the best. Decorum has its place, but it’s only right that it should yield eventually to openhearted familiarity. But why no more ‘Lady Marilyn this’ and ‘Lady Marilyn that’?”
“Take a look in the mirror, Max. It’s lucky there aren’t many people in Kettari who know your face. I believe we’ll have to find our way out of here without the caravan, though. If, of course, we want to keep our mission a secret.”
I stared into the mirror in astonishment at a face that looked haggard, bedraggled, and exhausted. Goodness! Not just any face, but my own!
“Yikes!” I blurted out. “All my life I was sure I was anything but plain, but now . . . but how did Lady Marilyn’s pretty face get left behind? Actually, who could possibly know but me—and I haven’t the foggiest notion. So let’s talk about you, Sir Shurf. You probably haven’t spent the last few days in the best possible spirits? What I mean is that I should have sent you a call, but I felt sure I was only gone for—”
“I don’t know where you were, Max, but I tried to contact you several times.”
“And?”
“To no avail, as you might have guessed. But I knew you were alive, because—well, I tracked you down. I’m not as good at it as Lady Melamori, but I do know how, if you’ll remember. The trail of a living person is always distinct from that of a dead one, so I wasn’t afraid for your life. But duty required me to follow your trail, though from the very beginning I felt I shouldn’t meddle in your affairs. Anyway, the trail led me to the city gates, and there I had to turn back home. I felt I couldn’t pursue you further than that. It was a very unpleasant sensation. I hope I don’t have to experience it again. But at least I realized you weren’t in any danger.”
“I’m very sorry, Shurf,” I said. “You won’t believe where I was. My dream, the city in the mountains, the cable car—do you remember?”
Lonli-Lokli nodded.
“You don’t have to explain anything, Max. I have a feeling that that secret isn’t yours to tell. So it’s better to keep quiet, all right?”
“Yes, all right.” I stared at him in consternation. Then a light went on in my head. “Did you just have that same unpleasant sensation again that you had by the city gates?”
Lonli-Lokli nodded.
“Holy moley! In that case, I’ll zip my lips. In fact, I think I’ll go take a little snooze. After the Elixir two or three hours of sleep will be enough. Then you can tell me—no, you’d better tell me now, or I’ll die of curiosity. What have you been doing all this time? Not you, I mean, but him—that cheerful chap. How did he entertain himself?”
Lonli-Lokli frowned.
“I’m afraid the news isn’t very good, Max. He—that is, me—we played cards. It was so pleasant and exciting! Oh, I was just going to ask you, did you have any money on you when we parted? Because I have nothing left.”
“You blew all the money?” I laughed so hard I wanted to collapse to the chair, but missed and fell into a heap on the floor instead. “You lost all the money? How long did you play? A year? Two?”
“Two days and two nights,” Lonli-Lokli admitted in embarrassment. “But a round of Krak usually doesn’t last more than a dozen minutes, so—”
“I see. As for me, I have three crowns and a bit of change left. Never mind. We’ll survive. I have a lot of experience in frugal living. If worse comes to worst, we’ll just murder someone. It’s a piece of cake! Or become robbers. Do you know how to rob, Shurf? I’m sure you do.”
“Yes. It’s not a very sophisticated kind of trick,” he said somberly. “But I don’t think it would be right. We are serving the Crown, in case you’ve forgotten.”
“Oh, yes, of course,” I said quickly. My wonder-saturated body had been seeking an outlet for mild hysteria for some time already. “You’re delightful, Shurf! A fine fellow. And I’m a dolt. I was ready to rob a jewelry store. Well, we’ll live modestly, tighten our belts. Honest poverty has its advantages. I’ve read heaps of books that claim it does, anyway.”
“You’re a very magnanimous person, Max,” Lonli-Lokli said. “I assumed that you’d be quite displeased with me.”
“I’m not a bit magnanimous. It’s just that I have loads of more serious problems. And besides, it’s my own fault. I shouldn’t have given you that joint.”
“Your treat afforded me great pleasure,” Shurf exclaimed. “A person needs a rest from himself, at least from time to time. As I understand it, that substance is available to you whenever you wish to have it?”
“Alas, no. Remember how surprised I was myself?”
“I understand. But if you ever . . . If I remember correctly, you don’t like to resort to this form of release, so . . . well, don’t throw that thing away, but hide it for me. Maybe someday, in several dozen years . . .”
“Well, in several dozen years, I figure I’ll be able to procure most anything at all!” I announced confidently. “You don’t want to have a good time before then?”
“Oh, no, Sir Max! How could I? A person shouldn’t neglect the opportunity for relaxation, but it’s inadmissible to indulge in it too often.”
“I’ll take that into account. How wise you are, Sir Shurf. You don’t mind if I just lie down here on this divan, do you? I’ve already grown used to it—I’ve never been upstairs to the bedroom. I don’t have the strength to get used to yet another new bed. Wake me up in two or three hours. I’ve got so much to do . . . don’t I?”
With these words, I closed my eyes and bid farewell to all the Worlds. I had no dreams, only one infinitely long moment of complete repose.
When I awoke, it was nearly dark in the living room. The windows let in a meager, dusky gray twilight. A fat greenish moon had already begun its triumphal ascent above the horizon. I looked around, dazed, to see Lonli- Lokli sitting stock-still in the rocker. He seemed to be practicing his breathing gymnastics.
“W-hat happened, Sir Shurf?” I mumbled in dismay. “I asked you to wake me up! Are you getting absentminded?”
“I did try wake you up,” Lonli-Lokli’s said. “In three hours, as you requested. I never could have imagined how lustily you can curse. I must admit, I didn’t understand more than half the words—but I jotted them down. And I would be much obliged to you if you would explain what they mean.”
“You jotted them down! Sinning Magicians, what did I say? I’m even curious myself. Come on, show me the list.”
“It’s quite dark in the room. We should probably light a lamp. You can’t see in the dark, as far as I
