All my life I’ve expected something like this from Mackie, but never anything on this scale. I can’t even claim that I understand it all now, but that’s not unusual. Mackie is the kind of fellow who isn’t capable of clarity. Show me all the maps of Kettari again, Max.”
“Shall I give them to you, Juffin? I know you aren’t sentimental, but in the interests of the case . . .”
“No. Keep them. You may need them. It looks like Mackie is counting on several more visits. By the way, did it ever occur to you that you needed to be very careful? It’s the most dangerous kind of scrape of all, the one you got mixed up in. Though it’s also the most useful.”
“I liked it,” I exclaimed dreamily. “What do you mean, Juffin? Dangerous how?”
“Because you learn too quickly. And you display your powers so ingenuously. Mackie is very crafty, but he can’t always come to your aid when you need him. He loves confronting a person with his fate, and then—just leaving him to it. You know, in every world there are hunters who are looking for people like you. Compared to some of them, the late Kiba Attsax is like a sweet dream. Speaking of dreams, Max. I hope you haven’t lost the personal kerchief of the Grand Magician of the Order of the Secret Grass? I strongly recommend that you not go to sleep without it, no matter what. Never. Understood?”
“Yes,” I nodded uncertainly. “But what—”
“I don’t know,” Juffin said sharply. “Maybe nothing at all will happen, you’re a lucky one. But I want to be certain that no matter what you dream you’ll be able to wake up. That’s all. Now we can move on to more pleasant things. Praising you, for instance. You truly exceeded not only your own, but also my expectations.”
“I guess so,” I said with a shrug. “But it doesn’t seem like such a big deal to me. Maybe I’m just tired.”
“You must be. You need a good rest—reporting to work every evening, and so forth. Our notions of what constitutes rest are the same, are they not?”
“They are,” I said. “We’ll start today. I’ll just go home for a few hours sleep. Or maybe I won’t sleep at all.”
“Better take a few slugs of your Elixir and stay here till evening. Tonight you’ll stay over at my house. I want to figure out once and for all what exactly happened to you in Kettari. So you’ll slumber, and I’ll satisfy my curiosity.”
“Wonderful,” I said. “Sleeping at your house like I used to, just after I arrived in Echo. Yes, it’s just like then! I’ve popped in, fresh from another World. It’s a good excuse for me to visit Chuff.”
“He’ll lick you from head to toe,” Juffin said. “I wish I had your worries, boy! Fine, let’s quit gabbing for a bit. You should eat something, and I want to take a minute to try puzzling out these blasted maps.”
He puzzled not for a minute, but for a good half-hour.
“Now it’s clear to me why Mackie won’t let me into Kettari,” my boss said at last, grinning.
“But Mackie said—”
“Never mind what he said. It seems the old man still thinks I don’t catch on too quickly. He’s the one who won’t let me in, who else? You see, Max, I remember too well what Kettari was really like. And when authentic and reliable memories of sorcerers like Mackie and myself collide, and even contradict each other—well, any World at all, not just a newborn one, runs the risk of flying to pieces.”
“So I was led by the nose,” I sighed. “And it was Mackie who wouldn’t let Shurf follow me, and not some unknown force.”
“And a good thing it was he didn’t let him. You were very busy just then. You were creating a new World, as I understand. It’s very natural, Max. You were led by the nose a bit, but the true purpose was to lead me astray. So don’t fret about it. Mackie doesn’t always know himself what is true and what isn’t, believe me. He’s come up with more than a dozen versions of Kettari! It’s too bad you couldn’t collect all the existing maps of my dear old town.”
“Well, what can I say? Juffin, are you in the mood to tell me a little about Sir Mackie Ainti? I just can’t figure out what kind of creature he is. He told me he’s been alive since time immemorial, and that he rolled into the World from who-knows-where, and somehow I believe him implicitly. Last night he sent me a call, very friendly, thanking me one last time. I hardly survived that short exchange with him! And what happened after I met him for the first time—I’ve already told you about that.”
“Believe it or not, I can’t help you there, Max,” Juffin smiled. “I spent more than twelve dozen years by his side, but I could never get to the bottom of him. It’s most likely my fate, to live in proximity to strange creatures like you and Mackie all the time. You may laugh when I say this, but you and he are like two peas in a pod. But you’re young and foolish, while he, in a sense, is perfection. That’s the way I remember him. There wasn’t a single human weakness in him. To this day, I’m still not sure he ever goes to the bathroom! I swear by the World I never caught him at it!” Juffin said with a hearty laugh. “But I’m sure you’ll be better at talking to him in his own language than I was in my time. You and he already see eye to eye. Oh, you’re a lucky fellow!”
“Yes, lucky! Only you advise me not to go to sleep without your protective rag, since all the Monsters of the Universe are out hunting. All the same, everything’s just hunky-dory!”
“Well, what is it you really want, Max?” the boss asked, knitting his brow. “A tranquil life? A little house with a garden, where you can wait patiently for old age in the company of your dear wife and a horde of grandkids? A royal pension for ‘outstanding service’? I can tell you right now that’s not going to happen. Never. All the other joys of life are there for the taking, though. Including the Monsters of the Universe, as you call them.”
“That’s fine with me. Better monsters than hordes of grandkids! You’re good at scaring people, Juffin—I’ll grant you that.”
And I was sent on my way.
There was a free-for-all of everyone else who wished to smother me in hugs, starting with Melifaro, who was the first to tackle me (he had been waiting in line, it seemed, since the evening before), and ending with the shy Sir Lookfi Pence and Sir Kofa Yox, who was too heavy for such strenuous exercises. Even Melamori dispensed with the demure restraint that had characterized our not-very-businesslike dealings lately. It appeared that she wanted us to be friends again. That was no small thing, since friendship was the only thing on the horizon for us. But I had already learned to live with this prospect. And she had, too. In any case, it didn’t hurt me anymore. I was glad to see Melamori and all the others. And they were glad to see me with my own face again. I was loved! Darn, it’s worth a lot if in some World or other there’s a place where you’re loved by at least five people. And then there was Lonli-Lokli, who was already at home asleep, and the mighty Lady Sotofa, who was so genuinely pleased with my rare visits. And a few more good fellows who also seemed to have a soft spot in their hearts for me.
“Hey gang, you know what?” I shouted when we had started in on the next jug of kamra from the
Why in the World were they roaring with laughter? They couldn’t possibly have seen the Droopy Dog cartoons.
In the evening, I felt even happier, since I got to spend time with Chuff. He really did lick me from head to toe, but I didn’t mind. Then my eyelids started growing heavy. Had they cast a spell on me? But who needs a spell when a person hasn’t slept for two days or overindulged in Elixir of Kaxar?
In the middle of the night I woke up, unable to remember where I was. Looking around, I realized I was in my own bed at Sir Juffin’s, and that he was sitting over by the wall. His eyes seemed to glitter in the dark—but whose eyes don’t play tricks on them when they’re fresh from sleep? Anyway, the sight of him sent shivers down my spine.
“Sleep, Max. Don’t bother me,” my boss said drily. And I dropped off to sleep like a good boy.
In the morning Juffin looked tired, but satisfied.
“Go home, Max. I think I’ll sleep a bit. Come to the Ministry after lunch, or even later. It doesn’t matter when, just show up. And don’t forget about the kerchief if you feel like taking a nap. You’re just going to have to get used to it.”
“Well, if you say so. What did you find out about me?”
“Loads of things that wouldn’t interest you. Now scram, you monster! Let this old geezer get some rest.”
At home I was set upon with loud meows by Ella, who was even stouter than when I had left. Armstrong, in his turn, demonstrated brilliant logic: he stared at me pensively, then lazily walked over to his bowl. Well, it made perfect sense.
