The Stranger

“Juffin, you’ve done a lot of research!”

“Oh Max, I’m afraid I haven’t done enough; but it was all I could manage in such a short amount of time. Just thank the Magicians that you can rest at work. Gather your strength and enjoy life. I’m off to your place. I’ll try my best to sleep in that slum. A hole in the heavens above you, Max! Just when I thought my days of ascetic adventurism were over . . .”

Sir Juffin left, and I stayed at the House by the Bridge. All night long I tried to go about honorably fulfilling my boss’s orders to rest and enjoy life. Not the easiest task in the world, but I did my best.

Morning began, as always, with Sir Kofa’s arrival. He looked befuddled. I must add that this expression suited him far better than his usual squeamish grimace of unending boredom.

“The robberies have continued, Max,” he reported. “You know, this is starting to get absurd. And absurdity is always unnerving. People are now saying that the robberies are being committed by the same person. But how does this elusive creature manage to visit houses at opposite ends of Echo at the same time? That’s what I want to know. And if the perpetrators are indeed different people, then what manner of genius was able to train them so well? And, more important, why? So that even Boboota gets the news that it might be a single criminal gang working together? Right then, son. Tell Juffin to get in touch with me if he gets bored. Of course, these events aren’t really interesting, nor are they matters for our department to deal with. But as the saying goes, at night even a skinny woman can seem like a blanket.”

“Better a small fish than an empty dish,” I translated automatically. “I’ll give him your message, Sir Kofa, but I have a feeling Sir Juffin won’t be bored today. I found a little job for him to do . . .”

“Oh, to hell with the robberies, then! They can wait for a rainy day. Have fun, Max. I’m planning to stop in at a few more places on my way home, so if you’ll excuse me.”

I waited around for another half an hour before receiving a message from Juffin. I’m quite fine, except for the bath that awaits me in your tiny tubs. I’ll be out soon, so let’s call over to the Glutton for breakfast.

With great enjoyment I took to fussing over our menu. By the time Juffin arrived, our office had all the qualities of a good restaurant: a splendid centerpiece on the table, tempting aromas, and a hungry gourmet exemplified in my person. Sir Venerable Head was satisfied.

“Allow me to report, sir,” said Juffin, who parodied a new recruit just returned from his first assignment. “The results of the investigative experiment just conducted prove that: a) there is something inhabiting the house opposite, and b) it is scared of me. Or, alternatively, it is disgusted by me. Or finds me unappetizing. Or it subscribes to the Echo Hustle and Bustle and is an admiring and devoted fan. In any case, no one so much as touched a hair on my head. No, it was more amusing than that. At first, I dreamed I was lying on that dinner table of yours; but it lasted for only a second. Then I stopped dreaming. All at once there was nothing. I was free as a bird and I could sleep for as long as I wished! But I wouldn’t let myself off the hook. I tried to close in on our mysterious friend myself. He had already surrounded himself with such unassailable defenses that inside that worthy mansion I wasn’t able to find anyone except its owners, who were fast asleep. Still, we did find out something new.”

“Like what?”

“That this could not possibly be the work of human hand. That is to say, there might have been someone who awoke other, inhuman, forces that are inhabiting the house. As a matter of fact, I suspect that history even preserved that person’s name for the curious. Of all the former inhabitants of the house, who but the Grand Magician of the Order of Green Moons could have pulled off such a prank? That doesn’t change the fact that you are being harassed by some wretch from another world, though. Pretty exotic, huh?”

“I thought I was the exotic one,” I spluttered. “Well, what does it want from me, anyway?”

“What do you think? Yum-yum!” said Juffin, and let out a bloodthirsty chuckle. “In any case, its intentions are unkind, make no mistake! Why else would residents of the neighborhood be kicking the bucket left and right? Let’s see, what else do we know about the enemy? Judging from last night, I would say that he acts carefully and is choosy. He wouldn’t risk coming up against a serious opponent such as myself. Furthermore, our little friend makes mistakes sometimes, which became quite clear today when he first invaded my dreams and then shamelessly fled. That’s comforting. I do not like getting involved with unmitigated evil—it’s a lot of bother. No matter how you look at it, Sir Max, the information that we have now is simply not enough. So you’re going to have to undergo nightmares for the sake of the cause for another few nights. I’ll shut myself up in the office and oversee your adventures from here. But don’t you even think of going to bed tonight without the protective amulet I was considerate enough to provide you with!”

“You mean that rag?”

“I mean the kerchief of the Grand Magician of the Order of Clandestine Weeds. Your frivolousness is killing me! Without that ‘rag,’ as you so irreverently call it, no one can guarantee that you will ever wake up again. Do you fancy that prospect?”

“Not particularly. I won’t forget, Juffin. I can’t believe I forgot about it yesterday! Could that unknown beast, hidden in ambush, have caused my absent-mindedness?”

“That could very well be. All the worse, Sir Max, all the worse.”

“If you really are going to be looking out for me, then please recite the safety measures to me just before I climb into bed. I’m either becoming absentminded, or the creature is turning me into an idiot.”

“You’re right. Stranger things have happened. In any case, an extra reminder never hurt anyone. You’re not eating enough. Don’t let nonsense like this spoil your appetite. Problems come and go, but your belly stays with you. Its needs are sacred.”

“I promise I’ll be good, sir.”

And indeed I was. I devoured a plateful of food, and after wiping my plate clean, I reached for a second helping. Sir Juffin Hully looked at me with the approval of a loving grandmother.

Soon it was time to go back home and see this night’s screening of Nightmare on Elm Street, starring poor Max. I can’t say that I was really looking forward to it. Now I was struck by my own idiotic heroism, under the influence of which I had refused to stay over at Juffin’s the other day. It was supposedly in the “interests of our mission,” but to tell the truth, it was just plain stubbornness.

Home was cozy, in spite of it all. Rays of sunshine beat through the new chocolate colored curtains I had procured to turn the bright light of day into the warm half-gloom of an underwater grotto. Of course, the main reason for my purchase had been to get rid of the view from the window, which only a few days before had been one of the main arguments in favor of my choosing this place as my home.

I noticed the evidence of Juffin’s presence in the living room (an unwashed glass and an empty kamra jug), and in the bedroom (the pillows and blankets had migrated to the far corner of the gigantic bed, and my library at the head of the bed had undergone thorough censorship, with the consequent scattering of all books deemed improper about the room). Following a strange logic of free association, I started thinking about cats. As soon as this is all over and done with, I’m getting a kitten, I promised myself. I tried to settle in more comfortably.

Hey Max, Juffin’s call jangled in my head, importunate as the sound of an alarm clock. Don’t forget to put on the scarf!

Sinning Magicians! I nearly forgot the talisman! How was it possible? I was so frightened there could have been no question of absent-mindedness. I quickly wrapped the protective cloth around my neck.

Looks like you were right, Max. You’re able to focus your attention on anything but matters of your own safety. Thoughts about the amulet were blocked, and in a very interesting way, I might add. It’s too bad you wouldn’t be able to understand my explanation of the matter yet. It seems we’ve come upon a very curious phenomenon. Perhaps you have some other amulets as well? Just objects that you especially like, or things that calm you down, like a child with his favorite toy. Lie down with things like that arranged from head to toe. They can’t do any harm, and who knows what small talismans are capable of? And don’t huff and puff so much trying to send me a message! I’m near you all the time in a sense. I see everything and I hear everything. Everything is under control. So just relax. What was it that you said recently? Over and out? Well, that’s all. So long!

I tried to think. Amulets. What sorts of amulets could I have? Actually, I do have one thing I could probably use: the balsam box from Sir Makluk’s bedroom, which was my very first trophy. I had removed it from the place it had so clearly not wanted to stay, and I had the feeling that the trinket was especially fond of me. So I placed my