Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Amanda moved to the other empty seat, and it must have been Tracey's, since no one objected. Clearly, everyone believed that she was Tracey Devon in Tracey Devon's seat. The mere notion was so horrific that she forgot to respond when the teacher took attendance.

'Tracey!' the teacher barked. 'You're actually here for a change. You might consider answering to your name.' The class giggled knowingly, as if this was some sort of common event.

'Sorry,' Amanda said again and then mentally kicked herself and vowed not to repeat the word for the rest of the day.

After roll call came the usual boring announcements over the intercom. Amanda took advantage of the time to consider her situation.

Obviously, this body-transfer experience was different from the previous ones. She'd never spent this long inside any other body. On the other hand, the other experiences hadn't been consistent in length-some had lasted seconds, others hours. She'd always come back inside herself eventually. She wasn't worried-not yet.

Something else was bothering her, though- something that she'd never given any thought to before. While she was in another person's body, where was that person? Her memory of being the poor old lady had given her an inkling as to how the other Amanda was functioning-like a robot programmed as Amanda. But where was Tracey?

'Hey, dork, the bell's ringing.'

She looked blankly at the boy passing her desk and realized that homeroom was over. She jumped up and grabbed her backpack. Get a grip, she warned herself. You might have to look like Tracey for a while, hut you don't have to be her.

Tracey's next class was math, which was not one of Amanda's better subjects. Tracey had the same teacher as Amanda, and they were using the same textbook, but Tracey's class was a couple of days behind Amanda's. Which was kind of cool-for once Amanda knew the answer to the equation that the teacher was writing on the board. When the teacher asked for responses, she raised her hand.

The teacher gazed out over the class. 'Doesn't anyone want to take a stab at this?'

Amanda waved her hand. Then another girl tentatively put up her hand.

'Yes, Jade?'

Amanda lowered her hand. Wow! Was Tracey such a loser that even teachers ignored her?

She considered volunteering an answer in Tracey's next class, English, but decided against it.

She was better off sticking to her original plan not to call attention to herself. She should just let things run their course until she could get back inside herself and let Tracey pick up where she had left off. It was the least she could do for the poor girl. Oh no! Was a note of pity coming through there?

She checked the schedule in Tracey's binder and saw that her next class was gym. Good-at least she'd be moving around, not just sitting and thinking. But it occurred to her that the gym was just below the classroom that she was currently in. It wouldn't take her more than a minute and a half to get there, and there were six minutes to kill between classes. What could she do with them?

In her normal life, she knew exactly what she'd do-go to the closest restroom and spend the four and a half extra minutes fixing her hair and reapplying lip-gloss. She seriously doubted that Tracey visited the restroom for any reason other than to use the toilet. She'd certainly never seen her lingering to put on makeup.

On the other hand, lingering in the hall wasn't appealing, and there was no law that kept Tracey out of public restrooms. So when the bell rang, she headed straight for the girls' restroom across the hall.

She was the first one there. Even though she knew what she'd see when she looked in the mirror, it was still sickening to face Tracey's reflection. No wonder Tracey never stayed long in the restrooms-who'd want to look at that every day? It was just too awful. And even though it wasn't really her, Amanda felt an automatic urge to make some improvement.

Only she had no tools whatsoever. As she'd expected, a search of Tracey's backpack turned up nothing in the way of cosmetics.

The restroom door opened. In the mirror, Amanda watched as her friends Katie and Emma sauntered in, followed by the Amanda-robot, or whatever she was. They all lined up in front of the mirror, emptied their little makeup bags into the sinks, and went to work.

Amanda couldn't take her eyes off herself, and Other-Amanda noticed this. 'What are you looking at?'

Wow! If she only knew whom she was really speaking to. Amanda held her tongue and said what she assumed Tracey would have said in the same situation: 'Nothing.' But when she saw Other-Amanda apply her own Pearls of Rose lip-gloss-the very same lip-gloss that Amanda had bought for herself just last weekend-she spoke impulsively.

'Amanda…'

'What?'

'Can I borrow your lip-gloss?'

Other-Amanda made no attempt to disguise her horrified reaction. 'No!'

Amanda wasn't surprised. If she'd been back inside her own body, this was just how she would have responded to a request like that from Tracey. After all, she didn't want to get cooties, or whatever other kind of disgusting germs someone like Tracey would have.

What did surprise Amanda was the way Other-Amanda's response made her feel. She could actually sense something burning behind her eyes. This was ridiculous-she wasn't Tracey, so why should she care if anyone made fun of her? Even so, Amanda decided to make a fast escape from the restroom before Tracey's tears made an appearance. She hurried out, down the stairs and into the girls' locker room next to the gym. At least this was one of Amanda's own classes, so she knew what would be going on. They were playing volleyball this month. She picked up a clean-but-ugly one-size-fits-all gym uniform and went into the changing room.

All around her, girls were undressing and talking. With her head down, Amanda made her way to an empty locker, hoping to keep a low profile. She particularly wanted to stay away from Other-Amanda. Maybe by now she'd be tired of teasing Tracey about not wearing a bra.

No such luck. As soon as she pulled off the T-shirt, a cry went up.

'Hey, Tracey, have you ever tried this?' Other-Amanda posed with her elbows extended and began to chant while jerking her arms back and forth in an exercise:

We must, we must, we must increase our bust.

It's better, it's better, it's better for the sweater.

It was such an old, stale rhyme-how could anyone find it funny anymore? But Katie and the others laughed dutifully, and Amanda experienced a strange hot sensation on her face. Ohmigod, was she blushing? She'd never blushed before in her life!

The shrill whistle of the teacher called them into the gym. Amanda had actually been enjoying gym this month-she was good at volleyball, and it brought out her competitive streak. She was always so focused that she'd never noticed how Tracey played, but she decided she could safely assume that Tracey was a klutz, and she was pretty sure that there was no secret competitive streak hidden behind Tracey's meek demeanor.

Once they were all in the gym, Ms. Barnes in her white shorts and shirt blew the whistle again. 'Captains today are Britney and Lorie.' A coin was flipped to see which of the girls would go first, and then team selection began.

If she'd been herself, she'd have been Britney's first choice, Amanda thought sadly. No matter who was the captain, she was always the first or second one chosen. But it didn't come as any surprise to find herself still standing between the teams as the selection went on. How humiliating to be the last one left! Again, Amanda had to remind herself that she wasn't herself, that it wasn't really Amanda who had to slink over to Britney's side when there was no one else left to choose. Other-Amanda had of course been Britney's first pick.

The game began, and it was a nightmare. Amanda had been half hoping that her own personality might override Tracey's natural meekness and physical limitations, but no such luck. Even when she tried her hardest to reach the ball, someone lunged in front of her. Other players pushed her aside like she was an annoying fly that had invaded the gym. Like she didn't belong there at all. A thought hit her: Tracey didn't belong anywhere! She didn't even exist for most people.

Except for you, she told herself grimly. You cared.