Better Late Than Never

Ken?

There he was again, the dead guy. Get lost, she said.

Ken, what's the matter with you? Why are you acting like this?

Because I'm not in the mood, she responded. I might never be in the mood again.

Please, Ken. Don't say that. I don't know what I'd do without you.

Despite herself and all her intentions, the voice touched her. The guy sounded so sad. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to have just one real conversation with one of Ken's dead people. She'd have a better understanding of what his gift was really like.

What do you want? she asked.

I'm feeling really down. 1 can't stop thinking about her.

Who?

You know! Nancy.

Amanda didn't know anyone named Nancy. It was kind of an old-fashioned name, she thought. A grandmother-type name. Apparently, this guy--what did he say his name was? Rick--apparently, Rick had talked about this Nancy to Ken before.

Why are you thinking about Nancy?

I'm always thinking about her -- you know that. I miss her so much. Like I said, I really loved her. I still can't believe she dumped me at the senior prom.

And you couldn't get her back?

How could I? That was the night I died.

This was getting interesting. So she was talking to someone who had to have been around 17 or 18 years old when he died. She wondered how that had happened. She couldn't ask--Ken probably knew.

Do you know what it feels like, Ken?

To die?

No, to love someone so much. And to have your heart broken.

No, not really.

You're lucky. It's the most unbelievable pain. You'd rather have two broken legs than a broken heart. She was everything to me: the sun, the moon, the stars. I can remember thinking I would die for her. Which is ironic, in a way. I did die, but I didn't even have the satisfaction of doing it for her.

'Ken?'

He looked up. The room was empty, and the teacher was standing at the door.

'Class is over, Ken. I see you didn't find the topic of essential daily vitamins very exciting. But you could have tried to stay awake, just out of common courtesy.' The teacher didn't wait for an apology.

Amanda got up, slung Ken's backpack over his shoulder, and hurried out. There were just a few stragglers left in the hall, heading to the exit.

She knew her own habits. Other-Amanda would be long gone. She'd been so caught up in Rick's story that she'd missed her chance to ask herself out.

It looked like she was going to have to be Ken for a while longer.

Chapter 10

JENNA WAS AT HER LOCKER on Friday afternoon when Tracey joined her. 'Ready to leave?' Tracey asked.

Jenna took out her jacket. 'I'm not going home, remember? I'm meeting my father.'

'Oh, right.' Tracey smiled. 'Did you hear what you just said? My father'

Jenna grinned. 'Yeah. And it felt so natural.'

'You don't have any more doubts?'

Jenna shook her head. 'It's like I told you--I couldn't read his mind, just like I can't read my mother's. We 're family.''

Tracey looked thoughtful. 'But you can't read Madame's mind, or Emily's, and they're not family.'

'That's different. Emily does something with her own gift, so I can't use mine on her. And Madame … she's got some weird insight. Did you notice how she was looking at Amanda today in class?' 'Yeah. What was that all about?' 'Maybe that wasn't the real Amanda.' 'She seemed real enough to me, 'Tracey said. Jenna slammed the locker door shut. 'Yeah, and she seemed real last month, too, when she was actually occupying your body. I'll bet she's inside someone else right now.' 'Who?'

'Who knows?' The girls walked to the exit together. 'Who cares? But if she wasn't there, I'll bet Madame could tell.'

'Could you tell? If you read her mind?' Jenna shrugged. 'I guess I could. But like I said, who cares?' They were outside now. 'I'm meeting my father at the mall. I'll see you tonight.'

As she crossed the street to reach the mall, she could feel the excitement rising inside her. She was meeting her father! It was almost too much to take in. And she wasn't just excited--she was nervous. This would be their first time alone together. Not really alone, of course--there were plenty of other people milling around the mall. But they'd have only each other to talk to. What if she couldn't think of anything to say? What if she bored him? A couple of hours alone with her and he just might decide this relationship wasn't worth the effort.

And what if he wasn't there? What if her original doubts had been on target? What if--

What if he was right there, in front of the music store, where he'd said he'd be, waiting for her?

Mentally kicking herself for having doubts, she waved to him, and he waved back.

'How was your day?' he asked.

'Fine,' she replied automatically. 'How was yours?'

'Fine,' he said. There was a silence.

'It's not easy, is it?' he said. 'You'd think that with all these years to catch up on, we wouldn't have any problem coming up with subjects for conversation.'

She smiled awkwardly. She wasn't exactly ready to pour out all her feelings and experiences--not yet. She needed something not too personal to get this relationship off the ground.

She glanced at the display in the store window. 'What kind of music do you like?'

'A little bit of almost everything,' he replied. 'Classical, jazz, rock. I'm not too crazy about folk music.'

Jenna lit up. 'I hate folk music! Do you like techno?'

'I can't say I know much about it,' he admitted. 'Want to introduce me?'

They went into the music store, and Jenna showed him CDs of the groups she particularly liked. There were headphones hanging on the walls so that you could listen to samples, and she showed him how to use them.

He was cool. He didn't pull that fake adult thing of pretending to love all the music she played for him, just to prove that he was down with the younger generation. He liked some groups, he didn't like others, and he expressed his opinions openly.

'I think I could get into this,' he told her. 'I'm going to write down some names so I can download them to my iPod.'

She was impressed. 'You have an iPod?'

'Absolutely. When you move around as much as I've been moving these past few years, it's the only way to keep your music with you. Don't you have one?'

She shook her head.

'I thought all kids had iPods.'

She picked up a CD at random and pretended to study the track listing. 'They're pretty expensive,' she said finally.

He was silent, and she looked up.

'It's been hard on you and your mother, hasn't it?' he asked. 'Financially, I mean.'

Jenna shrugged. 'We manage.'