Death

why I am glad to go. My job, which was never a job I should have undertaken, is done. Now I can go to a real job’

'Run away, you mean, and leave the poor lass to suffer all this alone, after you've weaselled your way into her confidence? Jesus! What they say about you bastards doesn't tell the half of it!'

His contempt left her unmoved.

She said, 'You mistake, Superintendent. If she was as unhappy as I would be in her situation, then I doubt if I could have decided so easily to go. No, the thing that makes me go is that the news has not made her miserable, it has made her happy! She acts as if she had gone along to the hospital anticipating confirmation that she had cancer and instead been told that she was free! I can offer comfort to despair. I cannot try to bring despair to joy. Now I think I have said all that I want to say to you, Superintendent. Aufwiedenehen, but not too soon, eh?'

Dalziel finished his drink and said, 'Just one thing afore I go. If you'd not mind taking off that nightie or whatever you call it.. ‘

She looked at him, puzzled, then smiled, stood up and pulled the T-shirt over her head.

'Turn around’ he said.

She obeyed.

'Right’ he said. 'You can put it back on.'

'For a moment I thought you'd changed your mind’ she said, parodying a disappointed pout.

'Nay, don't take it personal, lass’ he said, rising. 'Just making sure there was nowt but flesh to see. And very nice flesh it was.'

She smiled at him as he went to the bureau, picked up her gun, examined it, put the safety catch on, then slipped it into his pocket.

'You couldn't take it out of the country’ he said. 'Not legally, anyway. So best I take care of it’

'I am being permitted to leave then, am I?'

'Can't see why not. One thing more, but. Just in case you're hoping this tape you switched to record when you came in might have summat on it that would embarrass me, don't be too disappointed when you find I disconnected the recording switch. Just as well, eh, else you'd have ruined old Wagner’

He reset the deck and once again the doom-filled music rolled around the room.

'What would I have used it for anyway?' she said indifferently. 'Tell me, Mr Dalziel, why did you choose this music?'

'Don't know. Why do you ask?'

'There are some who say that it contains all that is best and worst in the German psyche’ she said. 'I thought perhaps it was some kind of statement, a bit racist, even’

'Racist? Me?' he said indignantly. 'Nay, lass, I just dearly love a catchy tune, even if it were written by a dead Kraut. You'll be seeing Charley afore you go?'

'Yes’

'What will you tell him?'

'As much as he needs to know’ she said.

'A man can't ask more than that from his woman’ said Andy Dalziel.

A few miles away, close entwined by choice and by necessity in the narrow single bed, Rye and Hat lay in the dark.

'You awake?' said Hat.

'Yes.'

'Not worried about anything, are you?'

'What should I worry about when I've got everything I want? Do I look worried?'

'Well, no…'

In fact during the past few days she had seemed to exude happiness. It was true that sometimes when he glimpsed her without her knowledge, he thought she looked paler and the shadows beneath her eyes looked darker. But the moment she became aware of his presence, she glowed with a joy that made such thoughts seem a blasphemy.

He ran his hands down her body and said, 'Not losing a bit of weight, are you?'

'Perhaps. After Christmas I like to start the New Year with a diet to get rid of all those chocs. But I've noticed that cops seem to prefer their women with a bit of weight.'

'Not me,' said Hat fervently. 'But I don't want to feel I'm going to bed with a xylophone – ouch!'

She had rammed a finger up his backside till it hurt.

'My body's my business,' she said. 'You'll just have to learn to play the xylophone. And if you keep on living off junk food, I'll just have to learn to play the bagpipes.'

'We'd better get a house in the country or else the neighbours'll be complaining every time we make love. Talking of which’

'So soon? Are you taking something?'

'No, I meant talking of a house in the country… when are we going to move in together? I mean permanently, not turn about, your place and mine. In fact, I mean really permanently. How do you feel about getting married?'

She didn't reply and after a while he said, 'You thinking about it, or just thinking how to say no?'

'I'm thinking about it,' she said. 'Best advice seems to be it's not such a good idea marrying a policeman.'

'You've been taking advice?' he said, faking large indignation to conceal small hurt.

'Of course not, but I read a lot of books, and wherever there's a cop there's usually a marriage in trouble.'

'Books! What do these writers know? They should get out more instead of spending all their time at home inventing stuff.'

'But it's true’ she said. 'It's a demanding job. And it's dangerous.'

She pushed herself away from him as far as she could, which wasn't far without falling to the floor, and said, That's one thing that does worry me, Hat. Your job is dangerous, and it's getting more so. I just don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you.'

'Don't be daft,' he said. 'Chances of anything like that must be

… I don't know what, but they've got to be longer than winning the lottery.'

'It almost happened, remember?' she said. 'I came close to losing you.'

'OK, but lightning doesn't strike twice, so that makes it even less likely it could happen again.'

'I wish I could believe that. All I know is, if anything did happen that would be the end for me. Of everything, I mean. My life would be over too. There'd be no point in going on.'

'No, you mustn't say that,' he urged fiercely. 'Look, nothing's going to happen

'But if it did?'

'Then you'd have to bear it, I suppose

'No way.'

'Yes, you could. You're strong, Rye. Stronger than me. I think you could come through anything if you put your mind to it.'

'I wouldn't want to put my mind to it.'

'You'd have to. Promise me!'

'What? That I'd throw roses on your grave then head down to the singles club?'

'No, don't be silly. That you'd give life a chance.'

'That sounds like something off a calendar!'

'I'm sorry I don't have some Fancy Dan way of putting it. It's just that I think these days everyone seems so concerned with getting ready for death. It's all about hospices and such things. Well, death's not that much of a problem, it seems to me, and if it is, it soon gets solved. Living's the hard thing to get right. Living's the important thing.'

He fell silent. She put her hand on his face and traced his eyes and his mouth in the darkness.

'That's a good calendar you've got,' she said. 'OK, I'll promise. Only you've got to promise too.'

'Eh?'