be met and could only be met by forced sales, with no buyers except at minimum values.
When I talked to him, he was almost in despair; no money; no property: all lost; the product of three years' hard work and successful speculation all swept away. Could I help him? If not, he was ruined.
He told me he had drawn all he could from my father: naturally I promised to help him; but first I had to pay the Gregorys, and to my astonishment he begged me to let him have the money instead. «Mrs.
Gregory and all of 'em like you,» he pleaded. «They can wait, I cannot; I know of a purchase that could be made that would make me rich again!» I realized then that he was selfish through and through, conscienceless in egotistic greed. I gave up my faint hope that he would ever repay me: henceforth he was a stranger to me and one that I did not even respect, though he had some fine, ingratiating qualities. I left him to walk across the river and in a few blocks met Rose. She looked prettier than ever and I turned and walked with her, praising her beauty to the skies, and indeed she deserved it; short green sleeves, I remember, set off her exquisite, plump, white arms. I promised her some books and made her say she would read them; indeed, I was astonished by the warmth of her gratitude. She told me it was sweet of me, gave me her eyes, and we parted the best of friends, with just a hint of warmer relationship in the future.
That evening I paid the Gregorys Willie's debt and my own and did not send him the balance of what I possessed, as I had promised, but instead a letter telling him I had preferred to cancel his debt to the Gregorys. Next day he came and assured me he had promised moneys on the strength of my promise, had bought a hundred crates, too, of chickens to ship to Denver, and had already an offer from the mayor of Denver at double what he had given. I read the letters and wire he showed me and let him have four hundred dollars, which drained me and kept me poor for months; indeed, till I brought off the deal with Dingwall, which I am about to relate, and which put me on my feet again in comfort. I should now tell of Willie's misadventure with his carload of chickens: it suffices here to say that he was cheated by his purchaser and that I never saw a dollar of all I had loaned him. Looking back, I understand that it was probably the slump of 1873 that induced the Mayhews to go to Denver; but after they left, I was at a loose end for some months. I could not get work, though I tried everything: I was met everywhere with the excuse, «Hard times!
Hard times!» At length I took a place as waiter in the Eldridge House, the only job I could find that left most of the forenoon free for the university. Smith disliked this new departure of mine and told me he would soon find me a better post; and Mrs. Gregory was disgusted and resentful-partly out of snobbishness, I think. From this time on I felt her against me, and gradually she undermined my influence with Kate. I soon knew I had fallen in public esteem, too, but not for long. One day in the fall Smith introduced me to a Mr. Rankin, the cashier of the First National Bank, who handed over to me at once the letting of Liberty Hall, the one hall in the town large enough to accommodate a thousand people: it had a stage, too, and so could be used for theatrical performances. I gave up my work in the Eldridge House and instead used to sit in the box office of the hall from two every afternoon till seven, and did my best to let it advantageously to the advance agents of the various traveling shows or lecturers. I received sixty dollars a month for this work and one day got an experience which has modified my whole life, for it taught me how money is made in this world and can be made by any intelligent man.
One afternoon the advance agent of the Hatherly Minstrels came into my room and threw down his card. «This old one-hoss shay of a town,» he cried; «should wear grave-clothes.» «What's the matter?» I asked. «Matter!» he repeated scornfully. «I don't believe there's a place in the hull God d-d town big enough to show our double-crown bills! Not one: not a place. I meant to spend ten thousand dollars here in advertising the great Hatherly Minstrels, the best show on earth. They'll be here for a hull fortnight, and, by God, you won't take my money. You don't want money in this dead and alive hole!» The fellow amused me: he was so convinced and outspoken that I took to him. As luck would have it, I had been at the university till late that day and had not gone to the Gregorys for dinner: I was healthily hungry. I asked Mr. Dingwall whether he had dined. «No, Sir,» was his reply. «Can one dine in this place?»
«I guess so,» I replied. «If you'll do me the honor of being my guest, I'll take you to a good porterhouse steak at least,» and I took him across to the Eldridge House, a short distance away, leaving a young friend, Will Thomson, a doctor's son whom I knew, in my place.
I gave Dingwall the best dinner I could and drew him out. He was indeed «a live wire,» as he phrased it, and suddenly, inspired by his optimism, the idea came to me that if he would deposit the ten thousand dollars he had Balked of, I could put up boardings on all the vacant lots in Massachusetts Street and make a good thing out of exhibiting the bills of the various traveling shows that visited Lawrence. It wasn't the first time I had been asked to help advertise this or that entertainment. I put forward my idea timidly, yet Dingwall took it up at once. «If you can find good security, or a good surety,» he said, «I'll leave five thousand dollars with you. I've no right to, but I like you and I'll risk it.» I took him across to Mr. Rankin, the banker, who listened to me benevolently and finally said he'd go surety that I'd exhibit a thousand bills for a fortnight all down the chief street on boardings to be erected at once, on condition that Mr. Dingwall paid five thousand dollars in advance; and he gave Mr. Dingwall a letter to that effect, and then told me pleasantly he held five thousand and some odd dollars at my service.
Dingwall took the next train west, leaving me to put up boardings in a month, after getting first of all permission from the lot owners.
To cut a long story short, I got permission from a hundred lot owners in a week through my brother Willie, who as an estate agent knew them all. Then I made a contract with a little English carpenter and put the boardings up and got the bills all posted three days before the date agreed upon. Hatherly's Minstrels had a great fortnight and everyone was content. From that time on I drew about fifty dollars a week as my profit from letting the boardings, in spite of the slump.
Suddenly Smith got a bad cold: Lawrence is nearly a thousand feet above sea-level and in winter can be as icy as the Pole. He began to cough, a nasty little, dry, hacking cough. I persuaded him to see a doctor and then to have a consultation, the result being that the specialists all diagnosed tuberculosis and recommended immediate change to the milder east. For some reason or other, I believe because an editorial post on the Press in Philadelphia was offered to him, he left Lawrence hastily and took up his residence in the Quaker City.
His departure had notable results for me. First of all, the spiritual effect astonished me. As soon as he went, I began going over all he had taught me, especially in economics and metaphysics. Bit by bit I came to the conclusion that his Marxian communism was only half the truth and probably the least important half. His Hegelianism, too, which I have hardly mentioned, was pure moonshine in my opinion, extremely beautiful at moments, as the moon is when silvering purple clouds. «History is the development of the spirit in time; nature is the projection of the idea in space,» sounds wonderful, but it's moonshine, and not very enlightening. In the first three months of Smith's absence, my own individuality sprang upright like a sapling that has long been bent almost to breaking, so to speak, by a superincumbent weight, and I began to grow with a sort of renewed youth. Now, for the first time, when about nineteen years of age, I came to deal with life in my own way and under this name, Frank.
As soon as I returned from the Eldridge House to lodge with the Gregorys again, Kate showed herself just as kind to me as ever. She would come to my bedroom twice or thrice a week and was always welcome, but again and again I felt that her mother was intent on keeping us apart as much as possible, and at length she arranged that Kate should pay a visit to some English friends who were settled in Kansas City. Kate postponed the visit several times, but at length she had to yield to her mother's entreaties and advice. By this time my boardings were bringing me in a good deal, and so I promised to accompany Kate and spend the whole night with her in some Kansas City hotel. We got to the hotel about ten and bold as brass I registered as Mr. and Mrs. William Wallace and went up to our room with Kate's luggage, my heart beating in my throat. Kate, too, was «all of a quiver,» as she confessed to me a little later, but what a night we had! Kate resolved to show me all her love and gave herself to me passionately, but she never took the initiative, I noticed, as Mrs. Mayhew used to do. At first I kissed her and talked a little, but as soon as she had arranged her things, I began to undress her. When her chemise fell, all glowing with my caressings, she asked,
«You really like that?» and she put her hand over her sex, standing there naked like a Greek Venus. «Naturally,» I exclaimed, «and these, too,» and I kissed and sucked her nipples until they grew rosy-red.
«Is it possible to do it-standing up?» she asked, in some confusion. «Of course,» I replied. «Let's try! But what put that into your head?» «I saw a man and a girl once behind the church near our house,» she whispered, «and I wondered how-» and she blushed rosily. As I got into her, I felt difficulty: her pussy was really small and this time seemed hot and dry: I felt her wince and, at once, withdrew. «Does it still hurt, Kate?» I asked. «A little at first,» she replied. «But I don't mind,» she hastened to add, «I like the pain!» By way of answer, I slipped my
