chopped eggs and onions mixed with a small amount of boiled potato – Andy entertained us with the following anecdote: 'The recordings of Sussex folk song started well enough although at first the yokels were somewhat in awe of the apparatus and as we had thought, they needed to loosen up. So your uncle and I decided to have a barrel of beer brought in and we invited the singers to help themselves. Well, my word, I've never seen drinking like it-not even at the annual dinner we give the farmworkers at the harvest festival.'
'And still they gazed and still the wonder grew, that such small frames could carry so much brew!' misquoted Uncle Gordon with a short laugh, though this criticism did not prevent him motioning Sayers to refill our glasses with more champagne. 'But we certainly got the lads to sing though I hardly think we can release the results for public consumption.'
'Why not, Lord MacChesney?' asked Jimmy. 'Did the drink make their rustic dialect unintelligible?'
'Far from it-the words were all too clear! To give you an example, I heard choruses from “The Jolly Three Ladies of Huxham” that I could hardly repeat even in front of the most liberally minded audience.'
Perhaps it was Mrs. Moser's tasty food which kept Sayers busy refilling our glasses but when I excused myself before our main course to wash my hands, it obviously had taken only a few minutes coaxing from Jimmy to persuade Andy Bennett to give a rendition of the rather rude verses. I opened the door slightly and saw him stand up and sing:
'The jolly three ladies of Huxham,
Whenever we meets 'em we fucks 'em,
And when that game grows stale
We sits on a rail
And pulls out our pricks and they sucks 'em.
Now the poor little vicar of Huxham,
Had a cock which though thick was a short 'un,
He made up for his loss,
By having balls like a horse,
And he never spent less than a quartern.
But those three jolly girls from old Huxham,
This is the true story about 'em.
They lifted the frock
And tickled the cock
Of the vicar about to confirm 'em!
Then out spoke a young girl out of the blue,
Who said, as the churchman withdrew,
“My vicar is quicker
And slicker and thicker
And longer and stronger than you.”'
Jimmy roared with laughter and said: 'I do hope you recorded that fine song for posterity, Andy, I have several friends that would be delighted to purchase copies though I dare say it might be difficult to find a store that would put the record on general sale.'
'You could always sell copies through the columns of The Oyster,' Jimmy suggested. 'I think you would coin it in.'
Uncle Gordon nodded. 'That would be a good idea if we needed to make some money but thank goodness I couldn't spend all I have even if I live to be a hundred.'
'Fair enough, Lord MacChesney, but that reminds me of the story of Sir Charles and Lady Farnesbarnes-do either of you know it? No, well, it appears that one day Sir Charles came home and said to his lady wife: 'My dear, I'm afraid I have lost a great deal of money in unwise speculation and we must immediately make drastic cuts in our household expenditure. To begin with I suggest for a start that we dismiss the cook and you learn to prepare our meals yourself.'
'“Very well,” said Lady Farnesbarnes, “but only on the condition that you sack the chauffeur and learn how to fuck!” '
This jest was much appreciated by the other two gentlemen but when Uncle Gordon saw me enter the room he hastily changed the course of the conversation to far less interesting matters such as the state of the weather and the health of Mrs. Bennett's sick aunt. Nevertheless I thoroughly enjoyed the splendid repast and after we had finished Jimmy and I decided to go out for a short stroll in the warm evening air.
'Uncle Gordon and Andy Bennett are two game old boys, aren't they?' said Jimmy lightly, as we made our way towards the new garage Papa had built last September for our new Mercedes motor vehicles he had bought on a trip to Berlin. When we neared the garage, however, I noticed that the doors were unlocked and I whispered to Jimmy: 'Should we raise an alarm? We may have found burglars on the job.'
'On the job maybe,' I said carefully. 'But I'D wager that we have not been troubled by intruders. Listen to that noise carefully, can you not distinguish the sounds of breaking and entering from the whimpers and liquid sounds of a couple engaged in making love?'
Jimmy cupped an ear and listened intently and then turned to me with a grin. 'By George, you're right, Rosie! The only breaking and entering going on in there is that of a cock sliding into a juicy pussey!'
I suppose that we really should not have eavesdropped but as Jimmy said at the time, it was just possible that we may have been mistaken and that someone was trying to steal our lovely new motor car. So we crept up quietly and Jimmy opened the door very slightly and a flood of light spilled out. It only took a swift glance round the door to confirm my original theory-the strapping young footman Jack Dennison had sneaked away from the house with Kathie, the bouncy little kitchenmaid and together the pair were writhing half-naked on a couple of blankets filched no doubt from the housekeeper's stores. Jimmy was about to speak but I put my finger to his lips. 'Now, you wouldn't like to be interrupted at such a time, would you darling?' I whispered.
So we watched with mounting interest as the pretty girl slipped out of Dennison's embrace to lay on her back and pull down her chemise. The material fell away from her large milky-white breasts which she touched lightly, her fingers brushing the nipples softly and then passing upwards to run through her hair. This movement of the girl's arms made her breasts lift with the flushed pink circle which ran around each nipple heightening its colour, framing the erect little teat at its centre. The two lovely orbs of her ripe young breasts gently bumped together as Kathie lowered her arms again. She then wriggled out of her knickers and ran her hand through the curly brown triangle of pussey hair that covered her cunt.
'Well, Jack, all the goodies are on display-do you want to buy or would you rather send them back to the factory?' she giggled.
With a low growl, the footman rolled over to cover her body with his own-though not before I had time to admire his athletic physique and massive tool which was now pressing against Kathie's belly as he slid his hands under her legs to fondle and caress the bare globes of her bottom. He pressed his lips to the inviting red titties, kissing, sucking and nipping at the delightful little pink paps. He then released his hands from her bum-cheeks and pressed them against the tuft of brown hair between her legs before lowering his head and kissing her pussey whilst his hands sped upward, tweaking and rubbing her engorged titties with his fingers.
Despite his youth, Jack Dennison was obviously an expert muff-diver because Kathie was soon yelping with pleasure as the footman's tongue ran along the edges of her pussey lips before flicking inside to lash itself around her clitty which made the buxom lass shiver with desire. Then he heaved himself up and was about to plunge his rampant thick prick into her sopping wet cunney when the little minx grasped his veiny shaft and said: 'Oh Jack, let's be really rude. Let me suck your darling cock before you fuck me. There is no one here to see.'
With difficulty Jimmy and I suppressed a gurgle of laughter. Of course, we had no desire to spoil their fun and I suppose we should have moved away but though the spirit was willing, the flesh was weak and Jimmy and I simply stayed rooted to the spot enjoying this stimulating feast of erotic entertainment.
So we continued to watch intently as Kathie slid down a little, still somehow managing to keep herself curled
