stubborn will that kept her from raiding the krinzanz tincture in her larder. Want of the drug chewed along her nerves like tiny rats.
Are you, then, so keen to cast off association with your father s people?
Cast me off, didn t they? She kicked irritably at a pile of books on the corner of the desktop, clearing space for her legs. A couple of the tomes fell to the floor. How many fucking Kiriath do you see in here?
I see half of one. Behaving badly.
Yeah, well. She examined her right thumbnail, which she d recently bitten down to the quick. She couldn t remember doing it. Doing something, at least. We can t all sit sagely on the wall, sharpening our ironic wit and letting the world go to shit. Can we now?
I believe you have just acknowledged the mission your father s people owned.
And abandoned.
Nonetheless
Just use my fucking name, will you? She jumped up out of the chair, leaned on the desk with both hands, glaring up.
Is that so much to ask? That s all I m asking, Angfal. Just ditch all this daughter of horseshit. You think the fact my father was Flaradnam the Wise makes any fucking difference to anything that s happening now, anything that I m likely to do? You think I want to be reminded every fucking time I come in here that, that
She blinked, rapidly. Stared down at her hands.
After a moment, she sat down again.
Just use my name, she said quietly. All right?
There was a long pause.
You should have come to me sooner with this, Archeth Indamaninarmal.
She coughed out a laugh. Yeah, okay. Got that. But I thought you would have known. Would have I don t know kept track of current events or something. Manathan seems to know everything that goes on around An- Monal. Anasharal can eavesdrop on conversations a hundred yards away, for all I know he can do it over miles.
He cannot hear you now.
No? She settled back into her chair. You sure of that?
I have seen to it that he cannot.
A tiny dripping in the pit of her stomach. Are you saying I can t trust Anasharal?
There was a long pause, not something Angfal was prone to when he had the upper hand in a conversation.
I am saying. The response seemed dragged out.
That he cannot hear us now.
Archeth blinked and sat up. It was hard to be sure, but she thought the light in the scattered optics had shifted, brightening in some, dimming in others. Yellow became green became yellow. Her eyes darted back and forth, trying to capture memory of what each optic had looked like before. She had never seen anything like it happen before, in Angfal or any other Helmsman.
Angfal?
Yes, dau This time she was certain. A cluster of optics near the base of the spider-sized sac definitely dimmed. Yes, Archeth Indamaninarmal. I hear you.
What s going on, Angfal?
The world turns, the storm gathers, your people sheltered humanity from it as best they could. You summon us, and we build spells to span eternity, spells to chain us to you. But uncertainty is built in. Even for a Helmsman, this was getting beyond cryptic. Nothing can be solved, Archeth. Conflicting guesses are inevitable, are required.
She sat up, stabbed a finger at the spidery bulk. Why are you talking like this? Why are you stopping Anasharal from listening to us?
Once I commanded the Rose Petal in Autumn Fire, now I command you.
She scowled. The hell you do.
But steering a half-breed brat to safe haven is not the same thing as helming a fireship. For just a second, the wavering scream in the bowels of Angfal s voice seemed close to breaking loose. Grashgal, I am unsuited to this task.
Are you saying Anasharal is a threat? She slammed a boot against the desk. Piled volumes tottered with the impact.
Prophet s balls, Angfal, make some fucking sense!
We were kindled at the margins of possibility, we dwell there still. We were leashed for your sake, not ours. What sense do you want from me, Archeth Indamaninarmal? You could not encompass it if I showed it to you.
Well. She lifted her arms in exasperation.
What, then? Do I cancel the An-Kirilnar expedition? Tell me that much at least. Give me something.
An-Kirilnar is.
The Helmsman stopped dead, so abruptly that it took her a moment to realize there were no more words coming. Flicker of shifting light across the optics, there and gone. But this time she saw it for certain.
Angfal?
Quests are pretexts, Archeth. They are tales told, narrative blankets to wrap you against the cold you cannot bear.
Then She threw up her hands again. Then what? We don t go?
I did not say that.
Well what did you just say? You re still making no sense, Angfal. She flung herself to her feet in disgust. Snatched up her lantern. Forget it! Just fucking forget it, all right? I came to you for help, not fucking riddles. I told Ringil you d help. And now he s
She swallowed. Angfal made no reply. She glared up at the swollen iron bulge, then turned on her heel.
Should have brought a fucking wrecking bar with me, she spat.
She made it halfway to the study door before Angfal s voice came after her.
A man walks from point A to point B, Archeth Indamaninarmal. The straight-line distance is not large, a matter of a hundred yards or less. But he turns left and right constantly, he returns repeatedly along his own path before turning back to his destination once more. He stops, hesitates on more than one occasion. What am I describing, Archeth?
She stopped, facing the door.
I don t know. A fucking maniac, by the sound of it. This isn t
And if I tell you that the man is crossing Tarkaman field?
The maze? Despite herself, she looked back at the Helmsman s bulk on the wall. He s in the Sabal Maze?
Does this man s method of proceeding make more sense now?
Yeah and if you d told me about the maze from the start, it might have helped.
Not all mazes are easily perceived, Archeth. Not all constraints are visible to the observer.
That drip-kick in her belly again. She sat down on a convenient chest. Set the lamp carefully on the floor in a space not stacked with books and scrolls.
You re telling me you re constrained? In what you can say to me, in what matters you can discuss?
Silence. The optics shone at her.
Well, who what s constraining you? She shook her head. No, scratch that. Got to be a maze dead end, right there.
Gleam of optics. Wavering lamplight on black iron.
If you re stopping Anasharal from listening to this conversation, then the two of you have to be in conflict. Slowly, picking her way through the sense of it. But Manathan sent me out there to fetch Anasharal. Does that put you in conflict with Manathan as well?
