from my city and my friends, and I've noticed that those who remember are generally less happy than I. If I choose my city, without friends or memories it will be as strange a place to me as this town of Advent. So I'm going to choose to rejoin my friends, who, if they are truly my friends, will tell me about my past, and where my city lies. Have I chosen wisely?'
'I had rather you had chosen me. Still, you have chosen, and one additional drop joins the flood that whirls us to destruction. Your wish shall be granted, as soon as it can be arranged. Do not cry out to me for succor when you are caught by the current.'
She turned as if to go, and I saw that her back was a mass of putrefaction where worms and maggots writhed. I caught my breath but managed to say, 'Do you hope to horrify me, Maiden? Every man who has followed a plow knows what you've shown me, yet we bless you all the same.'
Again, she revealed her smiling face. 'Beware my half sister Auge, who has stolen the south from my mother. And keep my flower-you shall have need of it.' As she spoke, she sank slowly from sight.
At once the room grew darker despite the fire. I felt that a hundred ghosts, banished from it by her presence, were returning. Beside Minos stood a naked man with the head of a bull, his hand upon Minos's shoulder. The play of the firelight upon his muscled chest and arms made it seem they moved. A moment more, and he stamped as an ox does in the stall.
I snatched up the lupine, fled up the steps, and slammed down the slab. Almost, I threw the lupine into the flames; but its blue petals shone in the firelight, and I saw that it was but a wildflower, newly blown and brave with dew. I took off my chaplet, which had held many such blossoms, and found it sadly wilted. It I put into the flames instead, and I have rolled the lupine into the last turning of this scroll.
For it seems to me that we who bless her should not wantonly destroy what she has given.
Now I have written all I recall of this day. Already the morning, when we came to this place and met with Polyhommes, is as faded as the chaplet. I have looked back to see whether I spoke with Pindaros, Hilaeira, or Io at our inn, but there is nothing. Nor do I remember the name of the inn, nor where it stands. I would go there now and tell Pindaros of the Maiden, but no doubt the doors would be bolted, even if I should find it. I have written very small, always, not to waste this scroll. Now my eyes sting and burn when I seek to read it in the firelight, and yet nearly half the sheets are gray with my writing. I will write no more tonight.
CHAPTER XX-In My Room
Here in Kalleos's house, I have decided to write again. I have just read the last of what is written on this scroll, but I do not know whether it is true or even how long it has been since I wrote it. I read because I noticed the scroll in this chest today when I got out a clean chiton, and I thought if ever I needed to write something I would use it. I will write first who I am. I think this tells only who I was.
I am Latro, whom Kalleos calls her man slave. There is a girl slave too, Io, but she is too small to do heavy work. There are also Lalos the cook and another cook whose name I have forgotten, but they are not slaves; tonight Kalleos paid them, and they went home. Many women live here, but they are not slaves either, I think, and they do no work-only welcome the men when they come to their couches, and eat and drink with them. Before the men fame, some of them teased me, but I could see they liked me and meant no harm. Kalleos paid them this morning after the first meal.
One of them spoke to me afterward, when the rest had gone to the market. She said, 'I'm going to Advent tonight, Latro. Isn't it wonderful? If you want to come, I'll ask Kalleos.'
I knew Latro was my name, because that and other things are written on the door of this room. I asked her why I should want to go to Advent.
'You don't remember, do you? You really don't.'
I shook my head.
'I wish Pindaros hadn't gone home and left you here,' she said sadly. 'Kalleos wouldn't sell you for what he had, but I think he should have stayed and sent for more money, instead of going to get it.'
I could see she was concerned for me; I told her I was happy enough, and that I had eaten all I wanted when I finished bringing the food from the kitchen.
'You said the Maiden promised you'd see your friends again. I wish she were quicker.'
That was when I knew I had not always been in this place, and that I must have a family and a city of my own. Once there was a very large man and a very large woman who took care of me. I remember helping the woman carry cuttings away when the man pruned our vines. They had spoken to me too; and though I could understand everything Kalleos and the rest said, and speak to them as well as they to me, I knew their words were not mine, and I could speak mine to myself. So do I write, now. I did not know then who the Maiden was, because I had not read this scroll; by the time I wanted to ask about her, the woman had gone.
I stacked the dishes from the first meal and carried a stack into the kitchen. Lalos had told me his name when I had come to get the food. Now he said, 'Have you heard about the Rope Makers, Latro?'
'No. Who are the Rope Makers?'
'The best soldiers in the world. People say they can't be beaten.'
The other cook farted with his mouth.
'That's what people say-I didn't say it was true. Anyway, there's a lochos of Rope Makers going from house to house asking questions. The magistrates shouldn't have let them in-that's what I think. Of course they're our allies, and I suppose the magistrates didn't want trouble. Suppose they'd said no, and the Rope Makers had fought their way in. With so many away with the army and navy, who knows what would have happened?'
The other cook said, 'You do. And everything else.'
I asked, 'Will they come here?'
'I suppose, some of them. They're going everywhere, asking crazy questions like what did you eat at the first meal yesterday.'
The other cook said, 'Then we'll tell them. What's the harm in telling a Rope Maker what you had at the first meal?'
'Yes, we'll tell them,' Lalos agreed. 'We'd better.'
I carried in the rest of the dishes, and the cooks put little Io to washing them. There was food waste, mostly seeds and apple cores, scattered around the courtyard. Kalleos told me, 'I'm your mistress, Kalleos, Latro. I want you to sweep all this up. You know about answering the front door?'
I nodded and told her I had read it on my own door.
'Good. And don't forget to sweep again tonight when everyone's left. You can remember that, and I like it clean in the morning. And Latro, no matter what they tell you, the girls have to look after their own rooms-they'll get you to do it if they can, the lazy sluts. And their rooms have to be clean by tonight. If you see one who doesn't clean her room, you tell me.'
I said, 'I will, madame.'
'And when you go to the door tonight, don't let in anyone who's drunk until he shows you his money-silver, not bronze or copper. Or gold. Let in anybody who has gold. But don't let in anyone who looks poor, drunk or sober. And don't draw that crooked sword of yours unless you have to. You shouldn't have to.'
'No, madame.'
'Use your fists, like you did on what's-his-name the other night. And when Io's finished washing up, send her to me. Don't let those two idlers in the kitchen make her do all their work-I want her to go to the market with me. I'll have most of the stuff for tonight delivered, and she can carry the odds and ends. Make the deliverymen go to the back, and don't talk to them. And make them leave-after you have all the goods-if they try to snoop. I'm counting on you, Latro.'
Men came as soon as it grew dark, mostly bald or graying men, too old to fight. I admitted them; when they were busy with the women, I slept a bit in my chair by the door, only waking when the first left. Some stayed, sleeping with the women in their rooms. When the courtyard was empty, I carried the cups and bowls back to the kitchen for Io to wash tomorrow and got out my broom.
Many of the lamps were dark, and a man slept in one corner. I could see it would be impossible to clean the place well, but I decided to clean it as well as I could. It was very pleasant in the courtyard anyway. The thinnest-
