She did not sleep well that night.
CHAPTER TEN
Garren paced in front of his Dragee's stall. He'd been there for over an hour, trying to decide whether to ride out or not. Finally, he leaned against the wall and looked down at the dirt floor of the stables.
Just as it was prior to their departure for Palingard, it had remained. He removed his glove and touched the cool earth, letting the dirt fall through his fingers. It felt the same, smelled the same. Perhaps his whole world hadn't fallen apart, and yet, when he thought about it, it wasn't so much that his world had changed, but like he'd stepped into a world he'd never seen before. The closest thing he could liken it to in his experience was the immediate relief upon waking from a nightmare.
He paced the Dragee at first, moving quietly through the back roads of the city. His path, covered in shadow, helped him evade his guards. He neared the gates to the city, and came upon several watchmen who fell to their knees at his approach.
'My Lord.'
Garren, in no mood for idle chatter, didn't pause to acknowledge the salutation. He picked up the pace as soon as he was beyond their sight, rushing through the barren landscape. It was late in the day and the sun had begun to fall below the horizon. The hours had felt long since the previous evening's observance and the countless moments he'd spent in the sanctuary following it.
The crisp air stung him as he rode. The farther from Eidolon he traveled, the colder it became, the bite of the winter wind taking his mind off what truly had him shivering.
As he came to the edge of the field and entered the peaceful woods, he slowed his Dragee to a walk. He had been riding through these parts of the forest since he was a small boy. He remembered playing among the trees. He could still smell the pine and hear the snap of the branches below his feet as he ran.
He had been about ten at the time. Tadraem had walked with him to the stream and the waterfall that day. They had crawled to sit on an enormous log that had fallen across the expanse of the falls and had gotten soaked from the spray of the water. Garren could not recall all of their conversation, but a few bits and pieces remained. Tadraem told Garren things about his father that he'd never mentioned before — things that he would not speak of again.
They had sat peering over the waterfall, the roar filling their ears and making it difficult to hear one another. Garren reached into his pocket and took out a handful of rocks. He picked them up, one at a time, to throw them. Tadraem patted him on the back, causing Garren to stop for a second, soaking in the affection. Tadraem, though much like a father to him, didn't openly show affection.
'You remind me of your father,' Tadraem had said. 'Have I ever told you that?'
'No. But you have described him to me before. He had dark hair like mine, and was tall — like I want to be when I grow up. Is that what you mean?'
'In a way. But there is more to a man than his appearance. You have his laugh for example, and you are just as stubborn as he was. You do have his hair color, and you have the same brown eyes, but you physically favor your mother.'
'I thought you never knew my mother.'
Tadraem had looked out over the water and then back to Garren. 'I knew your mother well.' He sighed deeply. 'Your father fell very much in love with her.'
'But she was a human,' Garren had cried, bewildered. 'They can't think or reason as we do. You have told me that much yourself.'
'I have told you many things that are perhaps not always true. Without a soul, one can do very little outside of subsisting. Your father very much had a soul and therefore, the ability to love. Just because it is forbidden does not mean that it does not exist. Ereubinians may not be allowed to be companions to one another, but have you ever heard of two that have had feelings for each other?' Tadraem had asked.
Garren had not hesitated to answer his question.
'One of the boys in my lessons…' he had paused with fear in his eyes.
Tadraem had leaned over and cupped Garren's small chin with his hand.
'You may say anything here without repercussions. I have told you things that I have never said before and you may do the same. Today, we are honest with each other.'
'One of the boys in my lessons kissed one of the girls last week; no one saw it but me, but I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want them to be mad at me.'
'No, I suppose you wouldn't,' Tadraem had laughed. 'You did the right thing in not telling on them. Emotion is not something that's easily kept away, even with laws and punishment. Your father fell in love with your mother, even upon fear of death.'
'Have you ever known love in this way?' Garren had asked.
Tadraem had curled his hand to his chest as he spoke. 'Without fault. Without question, or hesitation.' He had closed his eyes. 'I love but her and her alone.'
Garren had struggled to understand what Tadraem was talking about, the expression on his face displaying his confusion.
'I cannot tell you her name or anything more. But I can tell you there will come a day when you will be given a choice. Two paths will be laid before you and one of them will be against everything you've been taught.'
'But you'll be there with me, right?'
'I cannot promise that. Don't forget what I have told you. Put these things out of your mind for now and ask me not about them later. Set aside this memory for that day.'
They'd continued to talk for some time, but past that Garren could recollect very little. In fact, he hadn't thought about that conversation for years and had never recalled it with such clarity. Tadraem must have briefly doubted the Laionai — this was several years before he had failed his crusade against Palingard. He'd become weak in his faith and it had cost him his victory. Garren gnashed his teeth, the hard muscles of his jaw stiffening in response. I will not let the ramblings of a lesser Ereubinian keep me from what is rightfully mine.
Very little stood between him and Adoria. The barrier between the realms would become inconsequential, just as the Goddess had foretold. It was only a matter of time. With their realm no longer protected, Adoria would begin to crumble. Even their best fighters couldn't contend with an army as strong as the one the Laionai had just commissioned.
The Ereubinians knew there were some who didn't have wings. They had run into them on occasion and suspected their involvement anytime a human village won against them.
There was a long history of bad blood between Garren and Michael, their fight now having become a matter of personal vengeance. Their last battle had been particularly nasty, leaving Garren with a deep scar at the line of his jaw. Michael was foolish for not killing him when he had the chance. There was no honor in clemency and it had sickened him to see it in Michael's eyes as he rose from where he had pinned Garren to the ground. Michael had left him with an idle threat, slicing Garren's skin as he pulled the sword away: 'Next time, I will not be so merciful.'
Garren could feel his adrenaline rushing as he thought of Michael. Garren would revel in Adoria's fall and would see to it personally that Michael was kept alive long enough to see his empire destroyed. The Adorians' involvement with the human realm was nothing more than an elaborate facade. They were only interested in power for themselves. He remembered the reactions of the few wingless men whom he'd encountered over the years and though the Adorians' compassion appeared real enough, he wasn't deceived. He vividly recalled an instance in particular with one of them.
The Ereubinians' efforts to take Ruiari were hindered greatly by several men well trained in the art of combat. Garren had begun to suspect they were in fact not human at all. He rode near one of them and grabbed the first human he encountered — an adolescent girl. She had screamed and tried to free herself from him, but Garren was much stronger and held the girl without any struggle on his part. He looked over at the Adorian and brought his
