'This will stop any more from coming out,' she said, 'but it's not going to stop the ones already infecting people in my world.'
'The egg births them and nurtures them,' the knight said. 'Without it, none of them can survive.'
The last of the House of Pain's ice fell away and Caitlin felt a rush of adrenalin. Here was her chance finally to do something good. She heaved the sword up.
Despite their terror, in that instant the plague demons recognised what was about to happen. They surged forward as one, flinging themselves from every corner, screeching and squealing, their glittering eyes filled with murderous intent.
The knight became a blur of destruction, battering away the first wave. Still dogged by their basic fear of what the sword represented, the imps hadn't yet unleashed the true depths of their fury, but it would come.
'Do it now!' the knight yelled as Caitlin wavered in the face of the storm of activity around her.
She brought the sword down with all her strength.
It cut through the egg as if slicing through a giant mushroom. Around the room the shrieking of the plague demons became so intense that Caitlin dropped the sword and clutched at her ears; Liam ran from the room crying. As the creatures hurtled around the room in their death throes, the knight picked up his sword and forced Caitlin out of the chamber.
They didn't stop running until the egg room was far behind them, and they could no longer hear the awful cries of the dying plague demons. 'Is that it?' Caitlin asked breathlessly as they waited in an empty room that pulsed with the distant heartbeat she had heard when they first entered the House of Pain. 'Is it all over?'
The knight stood erect, resting his hands on his sword. 'The plague is over.'
'Thank God.' Caitlin wiped away a fugitive tear. 'At least I'm not a complete failure.' She pulled Liam to her and stroked his head, feeling the weariness sweep over her again.
'You can still leave this place,' the knight said.
'I can't. Liam will die if we leave.'
'Not him. You.'
She glared at the knight. 'How can you say that? He's my son.'
'Think, Caitlin. You've stopped him from moving on. Do you think this place is good for him? Do you believe it's right to deny him what lies beyond… whether eternal rest, or eternal life? Moments frozen in time have no meaning. Only constant change gives us perspective… and life. Liam not growing, not having a life, is not Liam. It's just a snapshot. Nothing more.'
'Don't you dare lecture me!' she raged. 'What right do you have?'
'More right than you might think.' He appeared to steady himself, though the armour hid any sense of what was going on inside him. 'You asked why I kept coming to you, Caitlin. Here's why.' He took off his helmet. 'Because I love you… and I'll always love you.'
The shock was so great that Caitlin staggered, and for a moment she thought she might faint. It was Grant, filled with the flush of life, looking as though he had never succumbed to the ravages of the plague, and for a moment she wondered if her devastating images of burying him in the back garden were just a nightmare.
There was a weight in her chest forcing its way up into her throat, blocking all the words that wanted to come out. Liam cried, 'Daddy!' and ran to throw his arms around his father's waist, and then Caitlin thought the rock would burst her chest open. She buried her face in Grant's neck, immersing herself in the fragrance of his skin, something that had been taken for granted for so long and now was as valuable to her as all the riches of the world. She didn't want to lose that simple aroma ever again. It brought with it a rush of such overpowering memories that she was carried away: the two of them sitting in Roundhay Park when Grant gave up his career and his ambitions for her; their marriage, seeing Grant waiting at the end of the aisle, looking so handsome, so special; Liam's birth, the baby on her chest, Grant holding her hand, tears in his eyes, too choked to speak; and more, every precious moment that had made up their lives together, now more precious than ever.
And by the end of it, all the suffering and the harrowing experiences on the road from their village to the House of Pain had been forgotten, and once again she was the woman she had been, Caitlin Shepherd, GP. Not a Sister of Dragons, not a saviour of the world. Just a person; and that was enough.
'I don't understand… how you can be here…' she said.
'Come on,' he replied. 'We've got a lot to talk about.'
He led her to the entrance, where they sat just inside so they could look at the slowly setting sun playing across the plain, and the night drawing in, with a full moon and a spread of glittering stars providing a wonder to the darkness. They talked about everything, exhausting all the questions Caitlin had and the issues that needed resolving that she had thought would hang over her for the rest of her days; and they played with Liam, and kissed him and hugged each other. And when the sun came up, they were a family again.
But then Grant's face grew serious and he took Caitlin's hand. 'You know we can't stay like this.'
'Why not?' she replied, knowing the answer to her question, not wanting to hear it.
'This is all fake, Caitlin, sitting here in the shadow of this nightmare place, and we can't pretend it's anything else. There won't be any happiness here — no shared moments, no joyful experiences, no growth. What we have had is a second chance to put things right. We wiped away all the things that can hang around after a death and spoil a life. That's a tremendous gift, more than other people get.'
'It's not enough!'
'It is, Caitlin. Really. It's hard for you, being alone in the world, but the fact that I'm here now should tell you something. To stay here is to offer victory to the House of Pain and what lies behind it, because it's a mockery of all the things that make life so wonderful. It's not life, it's anti-life — it's what the Void stands for.'
'Don't go,' she pleaded. 'Don't leave me alone.'
'You won't be alone. You'll find more love in the world…' She went to protest, but he silenced her with a finger to her lips. 'You might not want to consider that now, when you're here with us, but it's important that you know I'm happy with it. Having someone who loves you, and loving somebody, is the most valuable thing there is — that's what Existence is all about, when you come down to it. It might sound stupid, and soppy, and you know I've never been a great romantic, but it's the truth. The only truth.'
His tone calmed her enough to take his hand. 'I know you're right… I don't want you to be, but I know. I'll do my best to cope. Really… for you, and Liam. I'll miss you… both of you.'
'You've had a glimpse of the rules that underpin everything, Caitlin. You know there is no beginning and no end, that everything is connected, that emotions are more powerful than concrete things, that reality is just what we make it. You know all that, and that will give you the strength to keep going… until we see each other again.' He held her for a long moment and she didn't want to let go, but she did. 'There's one thing… You said I could leave here, but I can't. The House of Pain has changed me to make me survive here. There's a cold that keeps crawling up my body — I can feel it coming back now — and it's stopping me from walking away. I can't leave of my own accord. It's making sure I'm going to be the queen here for ever.' Grant smiled and ran his fingers through her hair. 'Wait and see. You may not have to leave on your own.' 'What do you mean?' 'Wait and see.' 'I don't want to see you both leave.' 'Then close your eyes. Remember us both sitting here now and that thought will stay with you for ever.' He touched her forehead. 'Just here.' She closed her eyes. And when she opened them again, they were both gone.
Chapter Nineteen
'Just as the health of a forest or a fragrant meadow can be measured by the number of different insects and plants and creatures that successfully make it their home, so only by an extraordinary abundance of disparate spiritual and philosophic paths will human beings navigate a pathway through the dark and swirling storms that mark our current era.'
