the cold I had just endured both physically and spiritually. It almost felt balmy in retrospect.
BT was at the railing smoking another cigarette.
“I didn’t know you smoked.” I commented as I put out my hand to take a drag.
“I don’t.” He replied as he handed it to me. “And you?”
“Me neither.” I said as I took a big draft of the sweet leaf. I savored my long exhalation of the vapor. “You know BT, you don’t have to come with us?”
“I know that Talbot.” He said as he took his cigarette back.
“You know that throng out there is coming for us right?”
“I know that too Talbot.” He said as he handed the cigarette back to me.
“If we left here and you and Jen stayed behind. You’d be safe, you know that right?”
“That I don’t know Talbot. Stop bogarting and give me my cigarette back. What kind of man would I be if I left you now?”
“A live one.” I answered honestly.
He laughed at that and tossed his used cigarette over the railing. The cherry fizzled and smoldered out in a puddle of blood. He didn’t notice, I did.
“What do you expect me to do Talbot?” He wasn’t questioning me so much as he was actually asking my opinion.
I shrugged my shoulders. “There’s a good chance BT that my road leads to a giant fiery dead end.”
“That seems better than whiling away my days with a lesbian and a shrew. I’m going to smoke another cigarette Talbot, weigh the consequences of my actions and then get in that fucking ugly ass minivan of yours.” My cue given, I left, saddened in the fact that I wasn’t going to get another drag of his cigarette.
I walked away just as Tracy was just becoming extracted from a hug with Maggie. “You’re getting better Talbot.”
“Huh?”
“I saw you smoking that cigarette.”
“Aw shit, didn’t mean for you to see that.”
“Relax I wasn’t talking about that I meant that two months ago you would haven’t taken that cigarette from the Pope himself even if he had blessed it and dipped it in Holy Water first.”
“Huh. I hadn’t even thought about it.”
She rose up on her tiptoes and kissed me. “You taste like an ashtray.” And with that she walked away to descend down the ladder.
I gave Jen the same opportunity of Rights of Refusal to leave our merry band of misfits her answer while different from BT’s was eerily similar.
“Would it be better if I spent the rest of my days with a muscle headed man and a shrew?”
Tommy was crying as he disengaged from Maggie. “Are you sure Miss Maggie you won’t take some of these?” Tommy asked as he shoved his pillow full of Kit-Kats at her.
“Oh no dear, they just get stuck in my teeth and I never did have much of a sweet tooth.”
Tommy cocked his head to the side, like she had just uttered the craziest thing in the world. “Really?” His earlier distress somewhat relieved.
Tommy and I were the only ones of our gang left upstairs. I went over and gave Greta a perfunctory hug. I could feel her tense up as I moved in. I’ve gripped furniture that had more love in it. Maggie was the complete opposite. She apparently had enough love for the both of them. Her tears nearly soaking through my jacket.
“Maggie let him go.” Denmark chided her softly. “You’re gonna suffocate him.”
“I’m not going to do any such thing.” She told him but the mild rebuke seemed to work as she let me go.
“Thank you Denmark.” I shook the older man’s hand. “This has been a respite I will not soon forget.”
“You had better not.” He answered me, his lip quivered a bit but the staunch old bastard didn’t let any tears fall.
Once down in the car we all took our turns to wave. I beeped the horn as we headed North to our next destination.
Tommy kept turning so that he could keep seeing the motel. It wasn’t until it was completely out of view that he spoke. “They’re not going to make it through the winter.”
Brendon nearly slammed into my rear end as I screeched to a stop.
“What if we stay, Tommy?” I asked of him.
He shook his head. “They’ll die quicker.”
“FUCK!” I yelled as I slammed my hands on the steering wheel. Brendon had a hard time keeping up as I slammed my gas pedal to the floor.
CHAPTER 20 
We had been cruising down the highway for a couple of hours, distance doing little to help me forget about the Gustovs (Denmark’s family name). How many times I wanted to turn back around, only to have Tommy’s words bubble to the surface. I could only pray that our visit to him was not what hastened the Gustov’s demise. The ride was passing in a moody silence. Nobody in the car was talking and I don’t think anyone would have listened. So when Tracy offered to drive because she knew the rest of the way, I relented. She’d be hard pressed to find anything worth hitting in this desolate white-blanketed landscape.
A few minutes later I found myself drifting in and out of sleep. Only occasionally being awakened as Tracy would jerk the wheel as if she were just remembering that she was driving and might want to keep the ton and a half van between the painted lines. Sleep grabbed hold and even Tracy’s quick wheel movements could not shake the veil of it from me.
The one good thing about being alive during the age of the zombies was that nightmares no longer had any power. What’s so scary about the boogeyman coming to get you and your legs feeling like lead? That sensation of not being able to run, the fear that pumped through your veins, the monster coming! And then blissful awareness, your mother scooping you up in her arms kissing your sweat-pocked forehead. ‘It was all a dream, everything’s fine.’ She would coo. Not my mother mind you, but someone’s mother would. My mother was too narcissistic to care why I had the nerve to wake her up in the middle of the night when I was child.
No, these days I tended to dream in the idyllic, where a gentle breeze or a beautiful sunset would be punctuated by the appearance of a unicorn or maybe Bambi, only then to awaken in hell. Where monsters were real and no matter how fast and how far I ran they were always right behind me. That was far scarier than any nightmare my mind could have ever imagined. And come to think of it, no matter how many times my legs got mired in deep grass or heavy mud or ultra shag carpeting, the boogeyman never caught me. Not once. Would I be that lucky in real life?
I was coming to alertness in degrees, between the incessant beeping of some asshole’s horn and a not so gentle nudging. I was grudgingly letting go of my tentative grip on being figuratively dead to the world. Tracy’s hand slipped off my shoulder and into my jaw. That concluded what little of my subconscious remained in dreamland.
“Mike.' Tracy shook me again even though I was obviously awake. “Brendon is flashing his lights and beeping his horn.”
“Got the horn part.” I said as I gripped my jaw. “Maybe it’s your driving.”
“Ha, ha. No I think he needs something.”
“Then pull over.” Well that seemed simple enough, problem solved.
“No I started slowing down and he started flashing his lights faster, I think Coley was pointing to something behind us.”
I sat up fast. No way the zombies could be that close. I dreaded what I would see when I turned around. BT opened his eyes as soon as I had turned around. He looked up at me. He could see my anxiety. “What is it Talbot?” BT asked without turning to look himself.
“Don’t know, don’t see anything yet.” We both let out a sigh of relief.
“Good grief. My two big badasses.” Tracy said.
I puffed out some indignation. And then I saw it. It was far away but it was distinct. “It’s a truck, no its two of…wait no its three of them.” A coldness swept across me. I don’t know why, maybe some of Tommy’s prescience
