have plenty to eat and plenty of space to live in, as did my parents when I was born. Evolution didn’t come by one day and say “Well, there’s famine thousands of miles away in Africa right now and if you project out the current growth rates and consumption trends, there’s gonna be problems everywhere in about a hundred years, so, you know what? I think I’m gonna make you not be interested in women.” That’s just not how evolution works. There’s the whole bit where advantageous traits are passed along throughout the generations, because they assist in successful reproduction, even if indirectly. If there’s a trait that makes an organism not interested in reproduction, then that trait doesn’t get passed on, so it can’t become common within a population.[5]
If evolution actually were responding to overpopulation, it would probably just make us smaller so we consume less. Evolution typically doesn’t get much of a chance to respond to overpopulation, though, because famine and disease are far more effective instruments of population control which can eliminate the problem in a single generation.
My driver’s license disagrees with this statement on multiple counts. Many asexuals are not teenagers. Many asexuals are not girls. And even those asexuals who are teenage girls tend not to be confused. Most people who identify as asexual do not do so on a whim or because we somehow just can’t recognize what sexual attraction is. An asexual person generally examines their life very carefully before coming out, so you can be fairly certain that when someone says “I’m asexual”, the last thing they are is confused about how they feel.
Except for those asexuals who aren’t single, or who genuinely don’t care about dating, or who really wouldn’t mind dating if the right person came along…
Asexuality has nothing to do with gender identity. There are male asexuals and female asexuals and transgender asexuals and cisgender asexuals and agender asexuals and genderqueer asexuals and neutrois asexuals and all sorts of other gender asexuals that I haven’t mentioned here. Some of them dislike their gender, some of them are happy with it, and some of them don’t care. And none of them are the gender they are because they’re asexual and none of them are asexual because of the gender they are.
Things That Are Not Asexuality
Asexuality is a sexual orientation where a person does not experience sexual attraction. That’s all it is. However, since asexuality isn’t well known, it’s often confused with similar (and sometimes not even remotely similar) concepts. Because of this, it’s important to point out these distinctions and differences. It’s also important to note that most of these concepts are not necessarily mutually exclusive with asexuality. For instance, even though asexuality is not celibacy, it’s possible for someone who is asexual to also be celibate.
Celibacy and abstinence describe behavior, they’re about actions. A celibate or abstinent person does not have sex. Asexuality is an orientation, it’s about attraction, not action. An asexual person does not experience sexual attraction, but they may or may not have sex.
Asexuality doesn’t mean that someone can’t have sex. Asexuality doesn’t mean that someone can’t masturbate. Asexuality doesn’t mean that someone can’t wear make-up or nice clothes. Asexuality doesn’t mean that someone can’t be interested in sex. Asexuality doesn’t mean that someone is infertile or impotent. Asexuality doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t have a libido. Asexuality means that someone doesn’t experience sexual attraction, and that’s all.
Asexuals do not experience sexual attraction, and won’t suddenly start experiencing sexual attraction by having sex. Many asexuals have had sex, and yet are still asexual. In fact, many asexuals don’t even discover that they’re asexual until after they’ve had sex and start to wonder why they’re not all that interested in it.
Many asexuals have had their hormones tested and have found them to be within normal levels. Some asexuals have undergone hormone therapy for other conditions and have not reported any change in their sexual orientation. In general, asexual people do not experience any of the other signs of a hormone imbalance (hair loss, erectile dysfunction, depression, hot flashes, etc.), so even when they haven’t been specifically tested, they can be reasonably sure that their hormones are in order. Also, a loss of sexual interest due to a hormone imbalance is often sudden, while an asexual person typically has never experienced sexual attraction for their entire lives, so it’s not like anything was “lost”, because it was never there.
(If you do have reason to believe that your hormones may not be in order, particularly if you’ve suddenly lost the interest in sex that you used to have, go see a doctor about it.)
Being asexual doesn’t mean someone afraid of sex, just like being heterosexual or homosexual doesn’t mean a person loves sex. Being asexual doesn’t say anything about a person’s opinion of sex. Some asexuals are afraid of sex. Some asexuals love sex. Some asexuals are indifferent to sex. Many people who do experience sexual attraction are afraid of sex, but that does not make them asexual.
Asexuality has nothing to do with adhering to religious beliefs and is not the result of taking a purity pledge. If one chooses not to have sex because their religion or personal beliefs prohibit it, that’s abstinence, not asexuality. It is possible for someone who is asexual to refrain from sexual activity for religious reasons, which would make them abstinent and asexual. On the flip side, there are many asexuals who are not religious and do not appreciate having religious motivations ascribed to them.
Like every other sexual orientation, asexuals were born this way. We never looked at our lives one day and thought “You know, I’m done with this sex stuff” and decided to become asexual. You cannot choose to be asexual any more than you can choose to be gay or straight. Certainly, you can choose who you have sex with or whether or not you have sex at all, but that’s behavior, not who you’re attracted to. If you experience sexual attraction and choose not to act on it, then you’re not asexual. Asexual people do not experience sexual attraction.
There’s nothing physically wrong with people who are asexual. We’re not asexual because of a tumor or a virus or a parasite. We’re not contagious. Some people like men, some people like women, some people like both, some people don’t care, and there’s nothing to cure about any of those cases.
Someone who is asexual isn’t asexual because they’ve never had sex or haven’t had enough sex. Someone who is asexual isn’t asexual because they haven’t met the right person yet. Someone who is asexual isn’t asexual because they’re hiding or repressing their sexual desires. Someone who is asexual isn’t asexual because they’re in
