my other cheek. “I should wring your scrawny, ungrateful neck!”
I looked up at the panes of the French doors leading from the parlor to our garden and caught a reflection in the night-shrouded glass. His dark and lovely form slid through the solid structure as if the doors hadn’t been there at all. An apparition. An angel come to take me to heaven.
“Get off of her, you coward!” Azriel shouted, pulling Henry away from me. “You have no idea what you’re doing, who she really is!”
Henry screamed in a maddened rage, and he must’ve been surprised as hell to see Azriel pop in out of nowhere. Floating in and out of coherence, I listened as he beat Henry to death. He paid him back for every single time in our five years of marriage that he had laid his fists on me. When Henry’s screams died with his body, Azriel took me in his arms, and I thought I’d die from the pain of it. He lowered me to the bed and whispered in my ear, “You’re mine now.”
For some reason the word felt right. I wanted to belong to this beautiful stranger, this man who had rescued me from the clutches of death. He wanted me when no one else ever had, and I remember feeling like I wanted to crawl right inside him and stay there forever. It seemed hard to believe, his wanting me. I was so blinded by pain and grief that nothing made sense, least of all Azriel’s motives for killing Henry and taking me away. But I didn’t care. I wanted him too. As I was his, he was mine.
There is a space of time afterward that I don’t have any recollection of. I don’t even know how long it spans. It could have been days or even weeks, but when I finally woke, I was in an unfamiliar place and forever changed. As though I’d been swathed in fine silks, I felt the shadows flow over my skin, entreating me to join with them.
The lamplight flickered in the corner of the room and I sensed Azriel nearby, his life force pulsing like a beacon through the fog. A sweet scent, like a field of pansies beneath the summer sun, permeated my senses, and I breathed deep, holding the aroma in my lungs.
“What’s happened to me?” I whispered, my heart hammering in my chest.
Dark mist stirred at my bedside and Azriel materialized from shadow. I stared in wide-eyed wonder as he sat beside me and brought my fingers to his mouth, bestowing a gentle kiss on my knuckles. “Fate has claimed you, Darian. No mortal will dare harm you again.”
Being whisked away by a handsome stranger had been exciting. A touch romantic, even. But I knew virtually nothing about the man who’d saved me from my life of abuse. I learned very quickly that Azriel wasn’t a creature to be ruled by his emotions. He simply existed, and was unapologetic for his nature. It never mattered to me one way or another. I think maybe part of me died with Henry.
The town gossips murmured that Dr. Charles and his wife had been the victims of a violent robbery gone wrong. The good doctor had been beaten to death, and his young wife had vanished. The police suspected a kidnapping, and they were fairly certain she’d been raped and dumped in the river or tossed into the bay. They held little hope of finding the gentle girl.
We’d left California and moved north to Seattle. Azriel was very fond of port towns, and he kept close to the water at all times. He said it calmed him to be near the water, and I didn’t question his desires. We never wanted for anything. Azriel’s wealth surpassed even that of Henry’s. Assuming the guise of the leisurely affluent, we spent our days shopping, sightseeing, or simply enjoying the local culture. Our evenings were spent under the cover of shadow, and more nights than not ended with us enjoying each other’s bodies until the sun rose.
Though we didn’t need the money, Azriel had a restless spirit. He craved excitement like he craved my flesh, and it wasn’t long before he went out in search of diversion. He found employment easily enough. Killing for money satisfied his cavalier spirit. And he was all too eager to bring me along. If the humans he worked for noticed anything about us that was more than human, they never mentioned it. One deadly glower from Azriel was enough to stifle even the most stalwart of humans.
I’d never been angry with him for what he’d done to me. Just like I’d never blamed Henry for his treatment of me. I’d welcomed the change, as I was done with humanity. I was curious about what I’d become, though, and I questioned Azriel often, only to be silenced by soft kisses. And if I pressed him further, he silenced me by taking me to bed. On and on it went for years, until one day I would not be silenced.
“Please, Azriel,” I said. “Tell me something, anything. What am I now? How is it that I cannot die? How do we become one with the darkest shadows? I want to know.”
“There are no others,” he said as he unbuttoned my dress. “I have been alone for so long. My people were killed, eradicated. We are unique, alone in this world. And it will be better for us to keep to ourselves. I was the last, and I needed a companion, so I made you. We cannot die unless we are struck down by a magic sword. It’s the only thing that can kill us. It will be better if we hide—for a while, at least. If we avoid them, stay to the night, the humans won’t notice our differences. We’ll soon be forgotten, and no one will care. You and I will live together, forever, and I will taste your flesh for eternity.”
“But—” I protested, and he covered my mouth with his to silence me. I let him, of course—he was a marvelous lover. He never allowed me to broach the subject again.
Maybe in the end, Azriel was just as bad as Henry. Where Henry kept me subservient through violence, Azriel kept me through ignorance. But I allowed it. He never once told me he loved me, but he didn’t beat me either. And so I guess, in the long run, I thought I’d traded my life for a more tolerable existence.
He taught me very little about combat, but he did help me to become a very stealthy Shaede. We meandered through the night together, and he indulged my desire to watch the humans, living their lives, from afar. I believed I’d found happiness.
The cloudy skies and rainfall in Seattle brought a darkness almost as welcome as the shadows we inhabited. Azriel had been more partial to the weather than I. He never missed an opportunity to walk with his face tipped toward the sky as droplets caressed his dark features.
We’d abandoned the city in exchange for a walk in the woods. Abandoned the city sounds as well, exchanging the industrial noise for the
Ever the obedient companion, I dragged the long hem of my dress through the tall, damp grass. In fact, he rarely left my side or allowed me to leave his, as if frightened I’d run away in search of more entertaining distractions.
“Do you believe we are creatures of nature?” he asked me.
“I believe we are creatures of darkness,” I said.
Azriel’s cool laughter mingled with the tinkling sound of rain. “We are born from air and black earth,” he mused before leveling his gaze on me. “And some of us are born from nothing at all.”
His tone was as dark as the darkest shadow, and his words confused me. But Azriel always talked in circles, so I wasn’t surprised by the cryptic nature of our conversation. But I was not immune to the ominous feeling that accompanied his speech. Dread and foreboding congealed in the pit of my stomach. I reached out to take his hand, but he moved quickly forward and slid from my grasp.
“I’m tired,” he said as he walked. “I am tired of all of this.”
“All of what?” I said, pulling up my sopping skirt so I could run to catch up to him. “Of me? Are you tired of me?”
He stopped, and when he turned to face me, the absence of emotion on his face sent me stumbling back a pace. I knew that look of detachment. I’d seen it a million times from Henry. But I pretended it wasn’t there. I dismissed Azriel’s look, and instead defined it as exasperation with my silly, girlish questions.
“Who could tire of you?” He stroked my cheek, wiping droplets of rain from my skin. “I have plans for you.”
The next morning, I woke alone. Azriel had gone out the night before, the first time in decades he’d left my side, tucking me into bed with a promise he’d return by dawn. I’d assumed he’d taken on a job too dangerous for me to tag along. For days I searched the city, wandered alleys under the cover of shadow. He had to be dead. He’d promised we would be together forever—the only two of our kind, bound for eternity. No one confirmed that he’d died. I didn’t get a visit from the police telling me, “Excuse me, ma’am, but we found your Shaede lover dead in an alley this morning.” He simply did not come home, and that fact alone was enough to convince me he’d died. Who
