Shaedes of Gray: A Shaede Assassin Novel

Tyler and I exchanged a knowing glance. “Is there any Lyhtan who might not like that?” I said.

“I’m not sure,” Levi said. “I can look into it—for a nominal fee—but I would think they’d all be pretty excited by the prospect. If there’s anything to find out here, I’ll find it.”

We left, no better informed than we’d been when we entered. Frustration built up inside me like bubbles against a champagne cork. I wanted to kill something, just so I had an outlet to vent my anger. Ever the voice of reason, Tyler discouraged me from violence, convincing me it would only be counterproductive. It would’ve been in his best interest to keep his mouth shut. He was still pretty high up on my shit list, and I could just as easily release my anger on him as anyone.

Tyler made himself at home on my couch while I changed for another training session. My anger had been mounting, and I’d continued to suppress it. Much easier to do when we weren’t alone. But, damn it, it pissed me off that the one person I trusted had pulled the wool over my eyes. The more I thought about it, the more my blood began to boil. Now was as good a time as any to broach the subject of Ty’s true nature. In fact, I’d put it off for far too long.

“How does this work?” I asked, lacing up my boot. Keep it nonchalant. Don’t bite his head off. “Delilah said you’re bonded with me. What the hell does that entail?”

The twinkling light faded from Tyler’s eyes and his mouth tightened into a fine line. Apparently, he wanted to discuss this just as much as I did. “Can’t you just accept that I want to protect you and leave it at that?”

Um, no. If one more person tried to keep me in the dark, he was going to lose his head. “You mean just eat every spoon-fed bite of your bullshit? No, thanks. I think I’ve had my fill.”

“Darian—”

“Do you think I’m stupid? Weak? Incompetent?” My ire rose with every word. “Do you have any idea how humiliated I feel? Five years! Five fucking years I’ve known you. And you let me act like a complete fool. You knew there were others. Shit, you were one of them! Why didn’t you just tell me? Did you get off on seeing me alone and disconnected from everything? I threatened you, for Christ’s sake! I called you human, like it was a dirty word or something.”

Tyler’s eyes held mine, showing a depth of emotion I was afraid to believe. “I was trying to protect you.”

“Oh, really? From what? And did you ever think about asking if I wanted your protection? No. You just bound yourself to me.”

“Darian, with Jinn, the urge to protect is like instinct. But with you, I feel the need twice as strong. And you, being the tough girl you think you are—there’s no way in hell you would have submitted to the binding and let me become the protector that I had to be. You’ve always thought you could take care of yourself with no help from anyone. So I hid behind a normal-guy persona. I did what I had to do. It was beyond selfish of me, but I refuse to apologize. Yes, I kept the supernatural world from you. There are bigger and more dangerous things than Lyhtans and Shaedes in the world. And you would’ve taken them all on. Single-handedly. I couldn’t risk your safety. I knew if I kept you focused on humans and human business, you’d be relatively safe.”

I wanted to hate him right then but I couldn’t. I did feel safe and protected when I was with him. And something deeper still. He’d been my lifeline to the world, even though Azriel’s teachings had dictated I remain detached. Tyler had my back, no matter what. And I knew he’d never disappear in the middle of the night without a word. That was worth more than my anger and frustration. He didn’t deserve an ass-chewing, but he took it— because he knew it would make me feel better.

“There are rules to this binding.” All the fire had left me, and nothing remained but smoldering embers. “I know that much. And I want to know what they are.”

“Okay.” Tyler’s voice, soft and husky, sent chills dancing across my skin. “In my lifetime, I can only choose to form a bond three times. I can choose to create the bond, but you have to choose to break it. Once it is broken, it can never be remade.”

Three times. I wondered if he’d done this before. He was older than Delilah, and she’d been walking the earth for at least a thousand years. Could I perhaps have been lucky number three? “What about the wishes?” I abandoned my humiliation, the anger. We’d had it out and it was time to move on. Besides, Raif was going to kill me if I was late. I slid a dagger into the sheath at my thigh and another into my boot. “How do those work?”

“There’s a moral code, more or less. Even I can’t change some things. You can only wish for something you need, never for something you simply want.” Tyler stretched out his hand, counting points on his fingers as he spoke, “You can’t wish someone dead—or alive. And you can’t wish for wealth. Extra abilities are out of the question as well, like flying or breathing underwater. I can’t alter the paths Fate and nature have chosen for you.”

That little statement earned a snort of derision from me, but Tyler continued, ignoring my sarcasm.

“You are forbidden from wishing away the bonds between others, and I cannot grant you love.” His eyes burned into mine when he said it, and I averted my glance, afraid of what else he might say. “The timeline can’t be altered, but I suppose that falls in line with fate. You could never wish to change the outcome of any event. And I can’t give you what someone else has. But I can swear to do my best to help you if you need it, and vow to protect you until you no longer need my protection.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? God, Ty, how could you do that?”

The look of shame that flashed across his face helped to further cool my fiery emotions. “I wanted to tell you. So many times. But I was afraid you’d bolt if you knew the truth. I didn’t want to be the one to disillusion you.”

“You did, though,” I said. “Just like the rest of them.”

“I know.” His voice was barely a whisper.

“How long?” I asked. “How long have you been bound to me?”

Tyler’s lips hinted at a smile. “Not long after I met you. Almost five years.”

Sonofabitch! For five years, Tyler had been secured to me like a snail on a rock and I didn’t even know it! Was I the most clueless woman on the motherfucking planet—or what?

“How?”

“The binding is a gift,” Tyler said, his voice as smooth as cream. “And it’s not one I give lightly. Please just accept it and leave it at that.”

I worried at the ring on my thumb, twisting it in a full circle. I traced the engraving on its surface, the hulking beast whose form I couldn’t identify. This binding wasn’t the first “gift” he’d insisted I accept. I took the katana from where it was mounted above my mantel and flung it across my back. “I’m going to be late meeting Raif, and, frankly, my brain fucking hurts. Don’t lie to me again. Ever. Please.”

His eyes answered for him, his expression honest and full of emotion. I won’t, it said. I promise.

I left Tyler at my studio—he refused to leave—and met up with Raif shortly after midnight. He tapped the flat of his sword against the sole of his boot. My tardiness was sure to spark a beating. I saved my neck by convincing him to bypass training for another Q and A. Like Levi, he didn’t have any more information or insight. I was ramming my head against a brick wall.

“So much to worry about,” he muttered. “Like I don’t already have enough on my plate.”

I assumed his plate was full of me, but I didn’t ask.

“There’s a Summit to take place in a few days. The timing is inconvenient, but it might work to our advantage. Xander will more than likely ask for help if this situation becomes . . . uncontrollable.”

Summit? Huh. “What kind of Summit? Like a Shaede Summit?” Then Levi’s Hamlet quote sparked in my memory, and I rolled my eyes. I. Am. Such. An. Idiot.

“There’s more, isn’t there?” I asked. “More than Shaedes, more than Oracles and Jinn. The world is crawling with other supernatural creatures, and we’re not so few in our numbers. Are we? We are not alone,” I said in a spooky sci-fi voice.

“Alone?” Raif said. “Whoever filled you with that rot?”

Azriel.

“There is a large and thriving supernatural community. For the most part, we get along just fine,” he continued without waiting for my answer, thank God. “Just like any human political body, we meet, talk, bring our concerns to a public forum. Vote. We’re not uncivilized, you know.”