Shaedes of Gray: A Shaede Assassin Novel

little. Frustrated, tired, hungry, and parched, I let out a wild and primal scream that echoed all around me, bouncing back to my ears, taunting me with the helplessness of the sound.

The bear cowered away from me in his corner, and I laughed long and loud. I guess I was scarier than I thought.

The air began to cool with the setting sun, and my anger turned to despair. I was about to mark the passing of another day of captivity, having no idea how many more were to come. Tyler had betrayed me, lured me with love and devotion, and I had eaten every spoon-fed bite of it. Truly alone in this world, I had nothing more than a wild animal for company. I scooted closer to him as the sky darkened, more afraid of the loneliness than I was of being eaten. He didn’t protest as I cuddled deep into his shoulder, but sighed contentedly and licked the side of my face. I hoped he wasn’t just sampling the dinner menu.

Creatures stirred around us, both supernatural and natural. An owl landed in a tree branch above the cage, and I trembled, thinking of the bad omen it presented. In just the short time since my capture, a new and disturbing feeling had begun to take root deep in my soul. I was possessed with the feeling that every particle of my being had begun to shift, transform. The presence of this process frightened me more than the prospect of the coming hours, days, or weeks. The Sylph had been right. Xander’s fears of revealing my existence were well founded. Something had happened to me.

I was changing.

Chapter 26

I’d lost count of the days. For some reason, I thought I’d been locked up for three or four, but I was so weak from hunger and thirst that I merely passed the time slipping in and out of consciousness. Was Tyler really here, holding me prisoner? I held on to a small glimmer of hope that I was dreaming—or dying, and that the final, dark end would come soon.

At least I wasn’t alone. I had the strange, docile bear that shared the cell with me. He seemed to have taken up the habit of watching over me, and whenever I managed to wake, he’d be next me, mewling and worrying and rubbing his warm, soft face against mine. My world had been reduced to the cage. And, like my beastly companion, I had been reduced to a kept thing, ignorant of my purpose or fate. My entire existence was made up of ignorance, and I found myself laughing and crying hysterically in the moments before I succumbed to the welcoming void of darkness once again.

I dreamed. More than I ever had. Or maybe I just remembered the dreams more now than I had in the past. Fleeting images like a slide show floated through my subconscious, a montage of my past, present, and, perhaps, my future. I dreamt of Henry, handsome and cruel, beating me into a state of despair and loathing so intense, I found myself longing to become invisible. I wanted to melt into the dark places of night and remain there—strong and safe from human harm. I dreamt of Xander, beautiful and aloof. But rather than pull me toward him, he pushed me away, proclaiming my mere existence a threat to everything he held dear. I dreamt of myself, free from captivity, walking in the sunlight that permeated my skin, sparkling and luminous, until there was nothing left of me at all. And I dreamt of Tyler, again and again, drawn to him like a magnet. Wanting him no matter how he’d betrayed me.

Those hours of unconsciousness mingled with the days of wakefulness. I passed the time like a moth in a chrysalis, waiting to emerge as an evolved species. Change swirled within me, and though I was aware of it, I thought on it little, until the first time I recognized the transformation from day to night as a physical sensation. With almost perfect detail, the changing time washed over me. Its scent a mixture of rain and diminishing sunshine, twilight had become a woolen blanket—warm but rough as it scratched against my skin and rustled over my ears. Like a living clock, I marked every second, felt every hour. The clarity of it astounded me. The passage of time came to me as a living, breathing thing. I’d been in my cage for eight days, twelve hours, and forty-seven seconds.

A pair of small, bare feet came to a halt on the other side of the bars. I tried to lift my blurry gaze to see the face that went with those feet, but I was so weak. I reminded myself I didn’t need my eyes to see, and I closed out the graying world around me to feel the being standing before me. Heat grew from the center of my chest, and I drew a shallow breath. One of my nine young tormentors belonged to those feet. The burning intensified as another and yet another approached. I curled into a tight ball, unable to bear the sensation of so many of them standing close. The bear pawed at me. He whined and sniffed my hair before giving me a nudge with his giant head. I panted through the pain, so intense it blazed a path through my body.

“Neither Shaede nor Lyhtan be. Mother, creator, the blood will see.”

“I need water,” I croaked, surprised at the sound of my own gravelly voice.

The teens giggled, their euphonious laughter like a thousand bells clanging in my ears. I pulled tighter into the protective ball. “Stop!” I cried, hoping there was some small fraction of force behind the word. “Stop it! I need fucking water! And food. Untie me! Get me the hell out of here!”

“Soon, Mother,” one of them said. “When night becomes day and day becomes night, the nine will come to claim their right.”

Mother. The word sounded foreign to my ears. “Please,” I sobbed, “untie me.”

“Soon, Mother,” a young voice said again, and they left. The burning receded from the center of my chest.

By slow degrees I lost my drive and the fight melted right out of me, pooling into submission. Time taunted me with its presence, and now the only escape I sought was sleep. Again I dreamt of Tyler. He lay next to me on a soft bed of grass, his naked body entwined with mine. A cool breeze washed the remnants of passion from our skin, and his soft kisses sent a trail of chills across my shoulder.

Bound to the moment, to the dream, to Tyler—I couldn’t escape.

“I love you,” he whispered, his voice becoming one with the wind. “I will protect you until I breathe my last breath, and love you beyond my life.”

I fought against the feeling that his words pulled from my soul. It swelled from the cold void of my heart and bloomed outward to overwhelm me with the strength of pure, untainted emotion. I’d been caught in my own sick fantasy. I tried to yell out, to scratch and claw my way to reality, to the real me waiting outside this time warp I was stuck in. Though I tried to speak, the words refused to come, and I averted my gaze, rolling my head away from him.

“Darian . . .” He whispered against my ear, “Darian . . .”

Something poked uncomfortably against my back and brought my body awake and back in touch with my mind. I moaned, the agony of my reality crushing the ecstasy of my dreams. Prodded again, I rolled over, shaking and barely able to support the weight of my body as I lifted myself to a kneeling position. It wasn’t much, but I was up. My head lolled, drooping in front of me. I tried to open my mouth, and my too-dry lips cracked and bled. My tongue, which felt like it was covered in scales rather than soft flesh, flicked out in a vain attempt to moisten my lips, and my stomach heaved at the coppery taste of blood.

“Wake up, Mother,” a singsong voice called out. “It’s time.”

“Eight days, twenty-two hours exactly,” I said, borderline delirious again. “Five seconds, six seconds, seven . . . eight . . . nine . . .”

“Yes, nine!” The voice interrupted. “The nine are waiting. Come, Mother, and give them life!”

The door to my cage swung open, and I tried to focus my blurry vision. Was the bear still there with me? Or was he a figment of my imagination, a companion created by madness?

The burning in my chest intensified as the teenagers entered the cell. I blinked and squinted to bring their young, lithe bodies into focus. Six of them circled me, and with great care, they cradled me in their tiny arms and carried me from the cage.

“No!” Every movement became dreamlike and weak. I felt the sun as it continued its arc in the sky, and also something else. The moon—I shouldn’t have been feeling it then—but the moon as well was traveling in its own arc toward the rising sun. “Night becomes day and day becomes night,” I whispered.

The will to live crept into me like a tiny point of light in a dark cave. Barely there but growing as I forced myself to consciousness. I couldn’t let it end this way—alone, betrayed and used. To better feel, I kept my eyes shut. I sensed my surroundings better this way, and I recognized the bubbles of pressure belonging to many Lyhtans before their stench reached my nostrils.