pain. Suddenly I remembered the pain. Had not Chade bid me simply to observe as I had been taught to find an answer to my question? It had been plain before me all the time, if only I had not been so blinded with fears of traitors and plots and poisons.
A disease was eating King Shrewd, gnawing him away from the inside. He drugged himself against the pain. In an effort to have some corner of his mind to himself, a place where the pain could not come and rob him. If someone had just told me of that a few hours ago, I would have scoffed. Now, lying on my bed, trying to breathe softly because the slightest movement triggered another wave of agony, I could understand. Pain. I'd only been enduring this for a few minutes, and I'd already sent the Fool running for elfbark. Another consideration pushed itself into my mind. I expected this pain to pass, that by tomorrow I would rise up free from it. What if I had to face it every moment for the rest of my life, with the certainty that it was devouring what hours were left to me? No wonder Shrewd kept himself drugged.
I heard my door open and close quietly. When I did not hear the Fool begin to make tea, I forced my eyes open. Justin and Serene stood inside the doors of my room. They stood frozen, as if in the lair of a savage beast. When I shifted my head slightly to look at them, Serene's lips actually drew back as if she snarled. Within me, Nighteyes snarled back. The tempo of my heart suddenly increased. Danger here. I tried to loosen my muscles, to be ready to take any action. But the pain bludgeoning my head bade me only be still, be still. 'I didn't hear your knock,' I managed to say. Each word was edged in red as my voice echoed in my skull.
'I didn't knock,' Serene said harshly. Her clearly spoken words were as painful to me as a clubbing. I prayed she didn't know how much power she had over me just then. I prayed for the Fool to come back. I tried to appear nonchalant, as if I kept to my bed only because I considered Serene's visit so unimportant.
'Did you need something from me?' I sounded brusque. In reality, each word cost too much effort to waste even one.
'Need? Never,' Serene scoffed.
Skill nudged me. Clumsily. Justin, prodding at me. I could not repress the shudder that went through me. My king's use of me had left my mind as raw as a bleeding wound. Justin's awkward Skilling was like having cat's claws rake my brain.
Shield yourself. Verity was a whisper. I made an effort to set my guards, but could not find enough of myself to do it. Serene was smiling.
Justin was pushing into my mind like a hand shoving into a pudding. My senses jumbled suddenly. He smelled foul in my head, he was a terrible rotten greenish yellow and sounded like spurs jingling. Shield, Verity pleaded. He sounded desperate, weak, and I knew he was trying very hard to hold the tattered pieces of myself together for me. He's going to kill you with sheer stupidity. He doesn't even know what he's doing.
Help me!
From Verity, nothing. Our link was fading like perfume in the wind as my strength dwindled.
WE ARE PACK!
Justin slammed back against the door of my room so hard his head bounced. It was more than repelling. I had no word for what Nighteyes did from within Justin's own mind. It was a hybrid magic, Nighteyes using the Wit through a bridge the Skill had created. He attacked Justin's body from within Justin's mind. Justin's hands flew to his throat, fighting jaws he could not seize. Claws shredded skin and raised red welts on the skin beneath Justin's fine tunic. Serene screamed, a sword of a sound slashing through me, and flung herself on Justin, trying to help him.
Don't kill. Don't kill! DON'T KILL!
Nighteyes finally heard me. He dropped Justin, flinging him aside like a rat. He came and stood astraddle me, guarding me. Almost I could hear his panting breath, feel the warmth of his hide. I had no energy to question what had happened. I curled myself into a puppy, sheltered beneath him. I knew no one could get through Nighteyes' defense of me.
'What was that? What was that? What was that?' Serene was screaming hysterically. She had Justin by the shirtfront and had dragged him to his feet. There were livid marks on his throat and chest, but through barely opened eyes, I could see them fading rapidly. Soon there was no sign of Nighteyes' attack save the wet stain spreading down the front of Justin's trousers. His eyes sagged closed. Serene shook him like a doll. 'Justin! Open your eyes. Justin!'
'What are you doing to that man?' The Fool's stage voice, expressing outrage and surprise, filled my room. Behind him, my door stood open wide. A passing maid, arms full of shirts, peeped in, startled, then stopped to stare. The little page girl carrying a basket behind her came hurrying to peek around the door's edge. The Fool set the tray he was carrying down on the floor and came into my room. 'What is the meaning of this?'
'He attacked Justin,' Serene sobbed.
Disbelief flooded the Fool's face. 'Him? He looks like he could not attack a pillow. You were the one I saw worrying that boy.'
Serene let go of Justin's collar, and he dropped like a rag at her feet. The Fool looked down at him pityingly.
'Poor fellow! Was she trying to force herself on you?'
'Don't be ridiculous!' Serene was outraged. 'It was him!' She pointed at me.
The Fool looked at me consideringly. 'This is a grave accusation. Answer me truthfully, Bastard. Was she really trying to force herself on you?'
'No.' My voice came out like I felt. Sick, exhausted and groggy. 'I was sleeping. They came quietly into my room. Then…' I knit my brows, and let my voice trail off. 'I think I have had too much Smoke this night.'
'And I agree!' There was fine disdain in the Fool's voice. 'Such an unseemly show of lust I have seldom seen!' The Fool spun suddenly on the peeping page and maid. 'This shames all of Buckkeep! To find our own Skilled ones behaving so. I charge you to speak of this to no one. Let no gossip about this begin.' He turned back suddenly on Serene and Justin. Serene's face was flooded scarlet, her mouth open in outrage. Justin pulled himself to a sitting position at her feet and sat, swaying. He clutched at her skirts like a toddler trying to stand.
'I do not lust after this man,' she said coldly and clearly. 'Nor did I attack him.'
'Well, whatever it is you are doing, it were better done in your own chambers!' The Fool cut across her words sternly. Without another glance at her, he turned, picked up his tray, and bore it off down the hallway. At the sight of the elfbark tea departing, I could not contain a groan of despair. Serene spun back to me, lips drawn back in a grimace.
'I will get to the bottom of this!' she snarled at me.
I took a breath. 'But in your own chambers, please.' I managed to lift a hand and point at the open door. She stormed out, with Justin staggering along in her wake. The maid and page drew back in distaste from them as they passed. My chamber door was left standing ajar. It took a vast effort to rise and go close it. I felt as if my head were something I balanced on my shoulders. Once the door was closed, I didn't even try to return to bed, but just slid down the wall to sit with my back to the door. I felt raw.
My brother. Are you dying?
No. But it hurts.
Rest. I will stand watch.
I cannot explain what happened next. I let go of something, something I had clutched all my life without being aware of gripping it. I sank down into soft warm darkness, into a safe place, while a wolf kept watch through my eyes.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO. Burrich
LADY PATIENCE, SHE who was queen-in-waiting to Chivalry's king-in-waiting, came originally of inland stock. Her parents, Lord Oakdell and Lady Averia, were of very minor nobility. For their daughter to rise in rank to marry a Prince of the realm had to have been a shock to them, especially given their daughter's wayward and, some might say, obtuse nature. Chivalry's avowed ambition to wed Lady Patience was the cause of his first difference with his father, King Shrewd. By this marriage, he gained no valuable alliances or political advantages; only a
