King finally dismissed all of us, to note how Regal dawdled behind, to converse with Wallace in the sitting room as we filed out. I found myself wondering if Chade would allow me to kill Wallace. He had already forbidden my solving Regal that way, and I had since promised to my king I would not. But Wallace had no such immunity.
In the hallway, Verity briefly thanked me. I dared to ask him why he had wanted me present.
'To witness,' he said heavily. 'Witnessing something is much more than hearing about it afterward. To keep in your memory all the words that were said… so they may not be forgotten.'
I knew then to expect a summons from Chade that night.
But I could not resist going to Molly. Seeing the King as a King again had fanned my failing hope. I promised myself my visit would be brief, just to talk to her, to let her know I appreciated all she did. I would be in my chambers before the small hours Chade favored for our conversations.
I knocked on her door furtively; she let me in quickly. She must have seen how driven I was, for she came immediately into my arms, without questions or qualms. I stroked her shining hair, I looked down into her eyes. The passion that came over me suddenly was like a spring flood that bursts suddenly down a creek, flinging all winter's debris out of its way. My intentions of quietly talking were swept away. Molly gasped as I held her to me fiercely, then surrendered herself to me.
It seemed months rather than days since we had last been together. When she kissed me hungrily, I felt suddenly awkward, uncertain as to why she would desire me. She was so young and so beautiful. It seemed vanity to believe she could want someone as battered and worn down as I. She did not allow me to keep my doubts, but drew me down atop her without hesitation. Deep in that sharing, I finally recognized the reality of the love in her blue eyes. I gloried in the passionate way she pulled me to her and clasped me in her strong pale arms. Later I would recall glimpses of golden hair spread across a pillow, the scents of honeywood and mountainsweet on her skin, even the way she threw back her head and gave soft voice to her fervor.
Afterward, Molly whispered in amazement that my intensity made me seem a different man. Her head was pillowed on my chest. I kept silent, and stroked the dark hair that smelled always of her herbs. Thyme and lavender. I closed my eyes. I knew I had warded well my thoughts. It had long ago become a habit when I was with Molly.
Verity, then, had not.
I had not willed what had happened. I doubted that anyone had. Perhaps, I hoped, I was the only one who had sensed it fully. Then there might be no real harm done, as long as I never spoke of it. As long as I could blot forever from my mind the sweetness of Kettricken's mouth, and the softness of her white, white skin.
CHAPTER NINETEEN. Messages
KING-IN-WAITING Verity departed Buckkeep at the beginning of the third winter of the Red-Ship Wars. He took with him a small group of handpicked followers who would accompany him on his quest, as well as his personal guard, who would travel with him as far as the Mountain Kingdom and remain there to await his return. His reasoning was that a smaller expedition needed a smaller baggage train, and traveling through the Mountains in winter demanded that all food supplies be carried with him. He had also decided that he did not wish to convey a martial aspect to the Elderlings. His real mission was disclosed to few except his companions. Ostensibly he went to the Mountain Kingdom to treat with his queen's father, King Eyod, about possible military support against the Red-Ships.
Of those he asked to accompany him, there are several worth noting. Hod, arms master for Buckkeep, was one of the first he selected. Her grasp of tactics was not exceeded by any within the realm and her prowess with weapons was still remarkable despite her years. Charim, Verity's body servant, had been with him so long and accompanied him on so many campaigns, it was unthinkable to either of them that he be left behind. Chestnut, brown as his name, had been a member of Verity's military guard for over a decade of years. He was missing an eye and most of an ear, but despite that seemed twice as alert as any other man. Keef and Kef, born twins, and like Chestnut, members of Verity's honor guard for years, went also. One other, Burrich, the master of stables at Buckkeep, joined the party of his own accord. When his leaving Buckkeep was protested, he pointed out that he left an able man in charge of Buckkeep's stables, and that the party would need a man who was knowledgeable of animals in order to get the beasts alive through the Mountains in midwinter. His abilities as a healer and his experience as a King's Man to Prince Chivalry were also qualifications he pointed out, but this last one was known to but a few.
The night before Verity was to leave, he summoned me to his study. 'You don't approve of this, do you? You think it's a fool's errand,' he greeted me.
I had to smile. Inadvertently, he had exactly stated what I thought. 'I am afraid I have serious doubts,' I agreed cautiously.
'As do I. But what else is left to me? This, at least, is a chance for me to actually do something myself. Other than sit in that bedamned tower and Skill myself to death.'
He had painstakingly recopied Kettricken's map over the last few days. As I watched he rolled it carefully and slid it into a leather case. The difference the last week had made in the man amazed me. He was still gray, his body still worn and sadly dwindled from too many months of sitting. But he moved with energy, and both he and Kettricken had graced the Great Hall every evening since the decision had been made. It had been a pleasure to watch him eat with an appetite, and once more linger over a glass of wine while Mellow or another of the minstrels entertained us all. The renewed warmth between Kettricken and him was another appetite he had recovered. Her eyes seldom left her lord's countenance when they were at table. While the minstrels entertained, her fingers were always resting on the back of his forearm. She glowed in his presence like a burning candle. Shield myself as I might, I was all too aware of how much they enjoyed their nights. I had attempted to hide from their passions by immersing myself in Molly. I ended up feeling guilty that Molly was so pleased with my renewed ardor. How would she feel if she knew my appetites were not entirely my own?
The Skill. I had been warned of its powers and pitfalls, of how it might call to a man and drain him of everything except a hunger for its use. This was one trap I had never been warned about. In some ways, I was looking forward to Verity leaving so I could call my soul my own again.
'What you do in that tower is not a lesser task. If folk could but understand how you burn yourself for them…'
'As you understand only too well. We've grown close this summer, boy. Closer than I'd ever have thought possible. Closer than any man has been to me since your father died.'
Closer even than you might suspect, my prince. But I did not utter those words. 'We have.'
'I've a favor to ask you. Two, actually.'
'You know that I won't refuse you.'
'Never say that so easily. The first is that you look after my lady. She has grown wiser in Buckkeep ways, but she is still far too trusting. Keep her safe until I return.'
'That is always yours without asking, my prince.'
'And the other.' He took a breath, sighed it out. 'I wish to try to stay here as well. In your mind. For as long as I can.'
'My prince.' I hesitated. He was right. This was not a thing I wished to grant him. But I had already said I would. I knew that for the sake of the kingdom, it was a wise thing to do. But for myself? Already I had felt the boundaries of my self eroding before Verity's strong presence. We were not talking about a contact of hours now, or days, but of weeks and likely months. I wondered if this was what happened to coterie members, if eventually they ceased having separate lives. 'What of your coterie?' I asked quietly.
'What of them?' he retorted. 'I leave them in place, in the watchtowers and on my ships for now. Whatever messages they must send, they can send to Serene. In my absence, she will take them to Shrewd. If there is anything they feel I must know, they can Skill me.' He paused. 'There will be other sorts of information that I would seek through you. Things I would prefer kept private.'
Tidings of his queen, I thought to myself. How Regal would employ his powers in his brother's absence.
