Those decisions are for the King.'
'I am not `boy',' I pointed out, surprising myself. 'I am FitzChivalry. '
'With an emphasis on the Fitz,' Chade pointed out harshly. 'You are the illegitimate get of a man who did not step up to become king. He abdicated. And in that abdication, he set aside from himself the making of judgments. You are not king, Fitz, nor even the son of a true King. We are assassins.'
'Why do we stand by while the true King is poisoned?' I asked bluntly then. 'I see it, you see it. He is lured into using herbs that steal his mind and, while he cannot think well, lured to use ones that make him even more foolish. We know its immediate source, and I suspect its true source. And yet we watch him dwindle and grow feeble. Why? Where is the faith in that?'
His words cut me like knives. 'I do not know where your faith is. I had thought perhaps it would be in me. That I knew more about it than you did, and that I was loyal to my king.'
It was my turn to drop my eyes. After a moment I crossed the room slowly, to the cabinet where Chade kept the wine and the glasses. I took down a tray and poured two careful glasses from the glass-stoppered bottle. I took the tray to the small table by the hearth. As I had for so many years, I seated myself on the hearthstones. After a moment my master came and took his place in his well-cushioned chair. He lifted his wineglass from the tray and sipped.
'This last year has not been an easy time for either of us.'
'You have so seldom called me. And when you do, you are full of secrets.' I tried to keep the accusation from my voice, but couldn't quite.
Chade gave a short bark of laughter. 'And you being such an open spontaneous fellow, that annoys you?' He laughed again, ignoring my offended look. When he had done, he wet his mouth with wine again, then looked at me. Amusement still danced in his dark eyes.
'Do not glower at me, boy,' he told me. 'I have not expected anything from you that you have not demanded from me twofold. And more. For I have it in my mind that a master has some right to expect faith and trust from his student.'
'You do,' I said after some moments. 'And you are right. I have my secrets as well, and I have expected you to trust that they are honorable ones. But my secrets do not constrain you as yours do mine. Every time I visit the King's chambers, I see what Wallace's smokes and potions are doing to him. I want to kill Wallace, and restore my king to his wits. And after that, I want to… finish the task. I want to eliminate the source of the poisons.'
'You wish to kill me, then?'
It was like being doused with cold water. 'You are the source of the poisons Wallace gives to the King?' I was sure I had misunderstood.
He nodded slowly. 'Some of them. Probably the ones you most object to.'
My heart was cold and still inside me. 'But, Chade, why?'
He looked at me, his lips folded tight. After a moment he opened his mouth and spoke softly. 'A King's secrets belong to a King only. They are not mine to give away, no matter if I think the receiver would keep them safe or not. But if you would only use your mind as I have trained you, you would know my secrets. For I have not hidden them from you. And from my secret, you could deduce much on your own.'
I turned to poke at the fire behind me. 'Chade. I am so weary. Too weary to play at games. Cannot you simply tell me?'
'Of course I could. But it would compromise my promise to my king. What I do is bad enough.'
'You are splitting hairs over this!' I exclaimed angrily.
'Perhaps, but they are mine to split,' he replied with equanimity.
His very calmness infuriated me. I shook my head violently, put the whole puzzle away from myself for a bit. 'Why did you summon me tonight?' I asked flatly.
There was a shadow of hurt behind the calm in his eyes now. 'Perhaps just to see you. Perhaps to forestall your doing something foolish and permanent. I know that much of what is going on right now distresses you greatly. I assure you, I share your fears. But for now, we must continue on our allotted paths. With faith. Surely you believe that Verity will return before spring, and put all to rights.'
'I don't know,' I admitted grudgingly. 'It shocked me when he set off on this ridiculous quest. He should have stayed here and continued with his original plan. By the time he returns, half his kingdom will be beggared or given away, the way Regal is going at things.'
Chade looked at me levelly. '`His' kingdom is still King Shrewd's kingdom. Remember? Perhaps he has faith in his father to keep it intact.'
'I do not think King Shrewd can even keep himself intact, Chade. Have you seen him of late?'
Chade's mouth went to a flat line. 'Yes.' He bit the word off: 'I see him when no one else does. I tell you that he is not the feeble idiot you seem to believe he is.'
I shook my head slowly. 'If you had seen him tonight, Chade, you would share my anxiety.'
'What makes you so sure I did not?' Chade was nettled now. I had no wish to anger the old man. But it seemed to be going all wrong, no matter how I spoke. I forced myself to keep silent now. Instead of speaking, I took another sip of my wine. I stared into the fire.
'Are the rumors about the Near Islands true?' I asked at last. My voice was my own again.
Chade sighed and rubbed at his eyes with his knuckly hands. 'As in all rumors, there is a germ of truth. It may be true that the Raiders have established a base there. We are not certain. We have certainly not ceded the Near Islands to them. As you observed, once they had the Near Islands, they would raid our coast winter and summer.'
'Prince Regal seemed to believe that they could be bought off: That perhaps those islands and a bit of Bearns's coast were what they were truly after.' It was an effort, but I kept my voice respectful as I spoke of Regal.
'Many men hope that by saying a thing they can make it so,' Chade said neutrally. 'Even when they must know better,' he added as a darker afterthought.
'What do you think the Raiders want?' I asked.
He stared past me into the fire. 'Now, there is a puzzle. What do the Raiders want? It is how our minds work, Fitz. We think they attack us because they want something from us. But surely, if they wanted something, by now they would have demanded it. They know the damage they do to us. They must know that we would at least consider their demands. But they ask for nothing. They simply go on raiding.'
'They make no sense.' I finished the thought for him.
'Not the way we see sense,' he corrected me. 'But what if our basic assumption is wrong?'
I just stared at him.
'What if they don't want anything, except what they already have? A nation of victims. Towns to raid, villages to torch, people to torture. What if that is their entire aim?'
'That's insane,' I said slowly.
'Perhaps. But what if it is so?'
'Then nothing will stop them. Except destroying them.'
He nodded slowly. 'Follow that thought.'
'We don't have enough ships to even slow them down.' I considered a moment. 'We had best all hope the myths about the Elderlings are true. Because it seems to me they, or something like them, is our only hope.'
Chade nodded slowly. 'Exactly. So you see why I approve of Verity's course.'
'Because it's our only hope of survival.'
We sat for a long time together, staring into the fire silently. When I finally returned to my bed that night, I was assailed by nightmares of Verity attacked and battling for his life while I stood by and watched. I could not kill any of his attackers, for my king had not said I could.
Twelve days later, Duke Brawndy of Bearns arrived. He came down the coast road, at the head of enough men to be impressive without being an open threat. He had mustered as much pomp and panoply as his dukedom could afford. His daughters rode at his side, save for the eldest, who had remained behind to do all that could be done for Ferry. I spent most of the early afternoon in the stables, and then in the guardroom, listening to the talk of the lesser members of his entourage. Hands acquitted himself well at seeing that there was space and care for their beasts, and as always, our kitchens and barracks made themselves hospitable places. Still, there was plenty of hard talk among the folk from Bearns. They spoke bluntly of what they had seen at Ferry, and how their
