through him, and he felt the first surge of happiness since Cerasi's death.
But immediately, the happiness was replaced by worry. Qui-Gon was coming out of obligation. Would working with a silent, disapproving Qui-Gon be worse than working alone?
Melida/Daan is what's important, Obi-Wan told himself firmly. / have to do what I can for the world Cerasi loved.
It would take days for Qui-Gon to arrive. In the meantime, Obi-Wan had to wait. With time on his hands, there was nothing to do. Thanks to Nield's bitterness, he had been exiled from the Young. Perhaps there were some who disagreed with Nield's tactics, but if so they did not join with Obi-Wan. No one would cross Nield.
Obi-Wan felt as though he were a ghost. He was not allowed to stay in the tunnels, so he slept where he could, or where he happened to find himself at night. Abandoned buildings, public squares, a park littered with the hulls of abandoned speeders. Life swirled around him, but he did not take part in it. Only his belief in Cerasi's cause kept him on the planet.
His only friend was Roenni. She often sought him out, bringing him food. She had given him a survival pack with a glow rod, and a medpac, and a warm, lightweight blanket for the cold nights. Obi-Wan was grateful to her for her loyalty, but concerned that if others saw them together, word would get back to Nield.
'He will be angry,' he told her. They were sitting in a small park that had been the site of a battle in the last war. Grass struggled to grow amid the bare patches. Only one tree still flourished. The others were just stumps, their branches and trunks blown to bits.
Her warm brown eyes turned suddenly fierce. 'I don't care. What he's doing is wrong. Nield is a good person. He'll realize it eventually. Until then, I'll protect you. The way you protected me.'
'I don't know if Nield will ever come around,' Obi-Wan said, remembering the hatred in his eyes.
'He's out of control because of his grief,'
Roenni said quietly. 'Only you can save the peace, Obi-Wan.'
'I can't do anything,' Obi-Wan said, defeated. 'I can't influence Nield. He won't even talk to me.'
'Is that why you called for your Jedi?' Roenni asked. 'Can he help Melida/Daan?'
Obi-Wan nodded and touched his river stone. 'If anyone can help, it is Qui-Gon Jinn.'
He believed in his Master absolutely, even if Qui-Gon didn't believe in him.
At last the day of Qui-Gon's arrival came. Obi-Wan had been instructed to meet him directly outside the gates of the city.
He felt a rush of pleasure as he saw Qui-Gon's tall, strong figure stride toward him. A smile of relief sprang to his face.
The smile slowly faded as he saw no answering expression. Of course there was no smile on his Master's face. His former Master's face.
Obviously, the sight of his former Padawan filled the Jedi Knight with anguish.
Qui-Gon's expression smoothed and became neutral. He nodded at Obi-Wan.
No greeting. No inquiry into how he was. Fine. Obi-Wan could handle it.
He had asked for help, not comfort. He nodded back his own greeting. The two began to walk together into the city.
Obi-Wan waited for Qui-Gon to speak. Why didn't he? If only they could talk about what had happened, if only Qui-Gon would give him a chance to explain.
He knew one thing now. He'd known it the instant he'd seen Qui-Gon. He wanted to be a Jedi again. Not only a Jedi, but the Padawan of Qui-Gon Jinn.
He wanted everything he'd thrown away. He wanted his life back.
He didn't belong on Melida/Daan. He had been swept away by a cause. A just cause, a good cause, it was true. But there were other just causes in the galaxy, and he wanted to fight for those, too. It turned out that Cerasi was right. He wanted a wider life than the one he'd chosen on Melida/Daan.
He had found his true path again. That was good. Still, despair filled Obi-Wan. All he had to do was look at Qui-Gon to know that the Jedi would never take him back.
Qui-Gon had expected the awkwardness. He hadn't expected the pain.
The sight of Obi-Wan's young, hopeful face caused him to feel angry all over again. Qui-Gon struggled against the feeling. He knew he was being harsh.
He couldn't speak. He didn't want Obi-Wan to hear anger in his voice.
His first words needed to be calm.
So instead he merely nodded his greeting. He saw that his coolness had hurt the boy. And Obi-Wan had suffered so much hurt already. Slowly, as they walked, Qui-Gon's anger trickled away and compassion took its place.
'I was very grieved to hear your news about Cerasi,' he said quietly.
'I am truly sorry for your loss, Obi-Wan.'
'Thank you,' Obi-Wan said in a constricted voice.
'There are many things to talk about,' Qui-Gon continued. 'But I think such things would be a distraction right now. Any problems we have with each other mean nothing in the face of a planet close to war. We should focus on the problems here.'
Obi-Wan cleared his throat. 'I agree.'
