'Right up to that point, I was trying to make nice with her,' Lucas said when they were out on the sidewalk.
'Fuck the bitch. She's one of those people who'll drive you to communism,' Del said. He scratched the side of his face; he hadn't shaved in a couple of days. ''After we see about Marcy, maybe you oughta talk to your friend Bone.'
'Not a bad idea,' Lucas said. 'But first' He took out his cell phone, turned it on, and punched in a number.
Lane answered. 'Yo.'
'This is Lucas. You find him?'
'I'veseen him. I took Hendrix along, Hendrix interviewed him after the party. He's got an office in St. Paul, on the street level down from a Skyway, and we can see him in his office.'
'You can see him now?'
'No, but I can see the door he's gotta come out. I'm with him.'
'Let's get some pictures of himwe might want to take them around.'
'Okay.'
'And if he gets closer to Minneapolis, call me. I'll leave the phone on. I'm probably gonna want to look at him this afternoon, wherever he is.'
Marcy was out of the operating room and back in the recovery room. Tom Black was standing in the corridor outside the operating suite with a nurse; when Lucas and Del walked in, Black stepped toward them. 'She came through it okay. They had a pretty good leak, but they stopped it, and everything else seems to be holding.'
'But she's not awake.'
'They're keeping her asleep. They want everything tying together before she wakes up and starts moving around.'
They talked about that for a minute: the way Lucas had been tied down once when he got shot in the throat, and hadn't been able to move his head for three days; and about the pinking-shears incident, when Del's hips had been immobilized for two days. Then Del said, 'I'm gonna go see this gal over at the BCA. See if the state's got anything on Rodriguez. What're you gonna do?'
Lucas looked at his watch. 'I've got a date, God help me.'
Catrin was sitting; in a back booth, facing the door, when Lucas arrived. He smiled when he saw her, and she nodded and then paid a lot of attention to picking up a cup of coffee and taking a sip.
'Hey.' He slid into the booth on the opposite side and waved at a waitress.
'I hope I'm not tearing your day apart,' she said. She'd dressed down this time, in jeans and a cornflower blue shirt that didn't seem to have a buttona subtle, outdoorsy peek-a-boo blouse. 'I was watching the Alie'e thing on television, and it seems like people are going crazy.'
Lucas nodded and tried to keep his eyes on her face. 'It's worse than I've ever seen it. We've had some bad ones before, but this is nuts.'
'Are you making any progress? Or can't you tell me?'
'If we were making progress, I might not be able to tell you, but since we aren't, I can tell you. We aren't.'
The waitress came by, and they both ordered salads and coffee.
Then they spent a couple of minutes in dragging chitchat until Catrin said, 'I called you up because you're the only person I can call up and talk to. I'm in pretty bad shape.'
'You look terrific. You even look happy.'
'More like anesthetized,' she said. Then she shook her head. 'I shouldn't be here.'
'Why not?'
'I can't even tell you that. I mean, I would tell you if I knew.'
'Have a little trouble sleeping? Can't stop your head going around, big dark dreams keeping you up?'
She tilted her head to one side and looked at him curiously. 'I'm not suffering from depression, if that's what you're asking. But you did, huh? I recognize the description.'
'Yeah.'
'I had a friend with the problem. We were worried about her. She eventually got straightened out.'
'Chemicals.'
'Of course. What'd you do?'
'I had this superstition about chemicals, so I just waited until it went away. I knew what was going on, and I read about it, and in most cases, it'll go away. So I waited. I hope to Jesus it doesn't happen again, but if it does, I'll do the chemicals. I'm not going through it again.'
'Good call,' she said. 'But my problem it's the good old midlife crisis, Lucas.'
'Haven't really had mine yet,' he said.
'Knowing you, you probably won't. Not until you're about sixty-five, and realize that you're not married and you don't have any grandchildren, and then you'll wonder what happened.'
'I could have grandchildren,' Lucas said, a little truculently. 'I've got a kid.'
'Who you don't see much.'
'What are we talking about here?' he asked, suddenly irritated.
'Maybe I'm dragging you into your midlife crisis with mine,' she said. The waitress came with the salads and nobody said anything until she was gone, and then Catrin said, 'Way back when, after I left you, and you didn't call'
'I called.'
'Yeah. Twice. If you'd have called four times, I would've come back. The next time I saw you, you were walking around with some skinny blonde with a terrific ass and these little bell-bottoms, and you stopped on a street corner and she tried to stick her tongue down to your tonsils.'
Now Lucas blushed. 'I don't even remember,' he said.
She maneuvered a lettuce leaf into her mouth and crunched on it, watching him. He pushed his salad bowl away and waited. 'Anyway' she said, 'About two days after I saw you with the blonde, I met Jack and we started dating and I liked him a lot and I liked his parents and they liked me, and my parents were delighted, he was one year away from his M.D. So we just got married and he did his hitch in the Army and then we went down to Lake City and bought a house and had kids and dogs and sailboats and goddamnit'testing the word, goddamnit 'here I am, twenty-five years later. What happened tome? I thought I was gonna have a movie, but all I've ever been is the woman in the background of somebody else's movie.'
She thought about that, and poked her salad fork at Lucas and said, 'That's what we're talking about. Metaphors. The other day when we met, I used that movie metaphor. It just jumped up and I said it. I've been thinking about it ever since. When'smy movie?'
Lucas sat looking at her for a long moment, and Catrin said, 'Say something,' and Lucas sighed and said, 'If I could only figure out a way to run for the door without freakin' out the restaurant.'
She sat back and didn't quite snarl at him, 'You'd run for the door?'
'Catrin I know women who run businesses and make a zillion dollars a year and drive around in Mercedes- Benzes and every night they go home and wonder what the hell happened, how they could've forgotten to have kids. They're forty-five years old and have everything but kids, and that's all they think about: no kids. Then I meet people like you who have these great kids and they're all messed up because they're not running General Mills.'
She'd wiped her mouth with a napkin, and now tossed the napkin into the middle of her unfinished salad. Her eyes were bright and a little too wide, and he started to remember her temper. He thought, Uh-oh, and she said, her voice rising a notch, 'So all I'm going through is some kind of routine female bullshit that I'll get over.'
He shook his head. 'No. You see women thinking along these lines, and about half the time it ends in disaster. They walk on their old man and their kids and they get their freedom and they wind up living in a crummy apartment and selling cupcakes in the local foo-foo dessert bar. If you ask them if they'd go back, they think a long time and most of them say, There's no way to go back,' but if they could, on some kind of negotiated terms, they would.'
'What about the other half, the ones who don't walk?'
'Then, they come to some kind of accommodation, but I'm not sure how happy they ever are, not having tried it.'
