Harald looked at him. Cash looked back. 'You're ducking it,' said John. 'I don't believe it's that simple. And I don't think you do either. Only you're scared of the can of worms…'
'Yeah?'
'All right. Look. I know a guy in New York. We did the FBI course together, years ago. I'll call him Monday. Maybe he'll dig something up. Give me that Rochester address. And I'll try Immigration on the name Groloch. I don't know if their records go back far enough, but it's worth a try. The Feds never throw anything away.'
Harald settled himself in a chair and put on his stubborn look. Maybe he was right, Cash thought. Maybe it was time to get some government agency involved. Somewhere in Washington, with its numberless bureaucrats, and bureaus, there was bound to be an outfit that investigated people like Miss Groloch.
'You get anything more from your Mrs. Caldwell?'
Harald shrugged. 'Been trying to stay away. But she should have her stuff ready sometime next week. She called about it the other day. What about your saucer people?'
Cash had almost forgotten. 'Nothing. They made copies of everything we had, then disappeared. One guy said they wouldn't bother me till they got something.'
Harald's expression grew more stubborn. 'Norm, I'm getting some really bad vibes from this thing. If we can't give it to the Feds, maybe we should let it go.'
Where had his enthusiasm gone? Cash wondered. It was just minutes since he had been excited.
'How? The way I see it, we're riding a tiger. People have started to notice, to watch. Might be some difficult questions if we turned loose now.'
John nodded, looked more glum, glanced at the clock. For an instant Cash saw another Hank Railsback foreshadowed in the younger man's face.
'You and Carrie having trouble?'
He seemed startled. 'Is the Pope a Catholic?' Then, 'It shows, huh?' He remained silent so long that Cash decided he would go no further. But, finally, 'Norm, you've been married a long time. Can you figure Annie?'
'Whenever I start thinking I do she surprises me. Like this refugee business. I would've bet anything she wouldn't have gone through with it.'
'You know how Carrie gets when she's pregnant?'
Cash didn't know the woman as well as Annie did or his daughter-in-law, but recalled that during each of three pregnancies she had made life hell for those around her. And the nearer full term, the worse. The last time it had carried over postpartum, and had come close to taking the marriage to court.
On the surface it seemed she hated John for causing her condition. For the final four months of that last pregnancy they had slept in separate bedrooms. Cash had once overheard Carrie telling Annie she would castrate John if it happened again.
'Yeah.'
'Well, she's started yakking about wanting another kid.'
'Oh, shit.'
'Is right. Norm, I had a vasectomy after the last one. I never told her. I don't know what she'll do if she finds out.'
'How'd you manage that?'
'I lied. Told them I was divorced. They never checked.'
Cash pursed his lips and exhaled thoughtfully, slowly shook his head. 'I don't know what to say. Sounds like you're between a rock and a hard place. If it was Annie and she got the way Carrie does, I'd just keep my mouth shut and make like I was trying. Way she was before, she'd probably change her mind as soon as it was too late.'
'I know she would. And I know I couldn't go through that crap again. That's why I got the operation. But she might get to be hell on wheels anyway.'
'Uhm.' And there's Teri, too, Cash thought. He wondered how much she had had to do with the operation. He didn't ask.
'You know, Norm, lately I've been asking myself a lot what the hell am I doing here. Why I bother. You think it matters? You know what I keep thinking? I could just jump on my cycle and head for the coast. Let her have everything. You can live on the beaches around L.A…'
' 'Vanity of vanities, all is vanity,' ' Cash quoted. ' 'What doth a man profit?
'What the hell?'
'Ecclesiastes. The Bible. You aren't the first. Everybody feels that way sometimes. Especially if you step back and look at your life and you see it going by and you're not really doing anything with it. The things you wanted to do before you had to spend all your time coping with babies and bills. I know I do. Mostly I just hang in there and hope something will come up to make it worth the pain.'
' 'The majority of men lead lives of quiet desperation.' '
'Something like that.'
Cash was not sure he had made any impression. John could be hard to reach. But, at least, he had matured enough not to sneer at the voice of experience. Cash smiled, remembering John and Michael and their self- certainty, what seemed just a few months ago, when they had been in high school. As one local wit had been heard to observe, there
