alarmed, Varya, this is all of good intention.”
“Da-s, Your Highness,” she said with a polite curtsey.
It was no secret in proper society-let alone amongst the petty dish rags-that with the death of Sergei, I was now the richest Grand Duchess in the Empire, for I had been Sergei’s sole legatee. Of course, I still had use of the 100 million gold rubles that upon my marriage Alexander III had placed on deposit for my use, but now I had inherited so much more-when presented with the figures, even I found them staggering. But in truth I did not see myself as owner of so many grand palaces, or these vast estates with their villages and thousands of peasants, or the priceless works of art and so on. No, I viewed myself a steward. And now I was a steward with a calling. It was odd. Once I had cared for nothing more than fine gowns and jewels, fancy balls and extravagant entertainments, not to mention the admiring eyes that followed me-more than once it came to my ears that the two most beautiful women in Europe were the two Elisabeths, myself and Sisi, the Empress Elisabeth of Austria- Hungary. However, costume and dress and dance, for which I had been so well known in the best society all across the Continent, were gone from me now, things virtually not of interest, not any more. Where once I had found joy in merriments that lasted until dawn, now at sunrest I found complete and utter peace there on my knees and at prayer before an icon. Yes, at the end of my day I longed for nothing more than to pop into the chapel to bid Sergei good night.
In an hour’s time my devoted Varya informed me that all had been done as requested, and it was with a rush of excitement that I made for my boudoir. Over time I had come to understand what my Grandmama had not, that the jewels of Russian women were not prideful decoration alone but also a symbol, an emblem, of the power and riches of our great Empire. In short word, nowhere on earth was there a more lavish display of gem than here. Of course Alicky had a collection be fitting the Empress of Russia, and the jewels of Minnie, the Widow Empress, were equally blinding. My collection followed soon thereafter, perhaps just after Grand Duchess Maria Pavlovna, the senior, who herself ranked third of ladies in the Empire. In any case, Sergei had built my collection quite admirably, taking as much pride in their beauty as he did in knowing that my jewels were famous beyond our borders.
And while I had always loved my accessories, opening my chamber doors now and seeing the sheer quantity of jewels laid out before me, I was filled with a kind of joy I had never experienced. My bed, my bureaus, the chairs and divan were covered with sparkling and glistening goods, more than I realized or could have imagined, and certainly enough to fill the entire inventory of the finest London jewelry store. Upon the bed sat a handful of tiaras, one of white gold set with 250 diamonds of the first water, another of platinum from Cartier set with perfectly matched freshwater pearls and 15 diamonds each of 15-carats, another with seven large emerald cabochons, and on and on, a blaze of wealth that even I found astounding. In one glance to the left I saw a stunning necklace of magnificent sapphires and cut diamonds, a diamond choker and earrings in the fashion of rose petals, a complete parure of aquamarines and diamonds, a stunning ruby brooch of 110-carats surrounded by white diamonds, and ropes of pearls measuring several arms in length. Turning the other way, I saw diamond clasps, pearl buttons, a number of stunning brooches by that Swedish jeweler Bolin, one a 60-carat emerald brooch surrounded by rose-cut brilliants, another a butterfly of rubies and diamonds and sapphires. Pearl-drop pendants in white gold, bowknot brooches, diamond-studded posy holders, stomachers, chokers, hairpins-they were all spread out before me, a simply dazzling and near-priceless array of the very finest jewels.
My eyes lit up and my physical self surged with a kind of energy that I had not felt in month upon month. For the first time ever I saw these treasures not in terms of their beauty and show, but in value of gold rubles and pound sterling-a veritable fortune!-and never had I appreciated them more. Oh, what plans I had!
“Varya,” I said, “also fetch my Faberge pieces-the frames with diamonds, the golden egg with sapphires, and anything else of significance. Search everywhere, high and low, at once.”
“Yes, Your Highness, but-”
“At once!”
I had been named after one of my ancestresses, Saint Elisabeth of Turingen and Hungary, known for her humility, her piousness, and her dedication to the poor. Upon the death of her husband, she had been cruelly forced from her royal home, whereupon she led the life of a wanderer yet remained ever true to her charitable intentions. And it was from my mother as well as this namesake that I had always taken good intention. Now from the both of them I drew not simply strength and determination but great conviction. Further, I had to admit that somewhere inside I also felt a keen desire to make right, if possible, some of my Sergei’s transgressions-his impatience not only with me but others, his intolerance of those not pure Russian, and his inability to reach down to those in need.
Oh, I thought then and there with this great fortune of jewels glittering before me, it was hard to believe that I alone, without any outer influence, had decided these steps, which I was sure many would think an unbearable cross. Perhaps one day I would either regret this, throw over, or break down under, but I would try and I knew that He would forgive me my mistakes. In my life I had had so much joy-and in my sorrows such boundless comfort that I longed to give a little of that to others. Oh, this was not a new feeling, this was an old one which had always been with me. Simply, I longed to thank Him.
To this pile of jewels Varya brought in tray after tray of Faberg e bric-a-brac, bejeweled knitting needles, guilloche pens, gold frames, and the such, all glorious and precious items. As she did this, I surveyed everything. Yes, I knew from whence came each and every gem-that large sapphire and diamond brooch from Sasha and Minnie upon my engagement, that stunning diamond and emerald tiara for our wedding. Yes, and that Siberian amethyst brooch from Sergei for our anniversary, and those gorgeous emerald-and-diamond earrings had belonged to Sergei’s mother, and that lovely 50-carat ruby brooch was a present from dear Kostya, and… and… and…
Sometime later I looked up and saw dear Varya still staring upon me, awaiting further command.
It was true, I was almost in a state of delirium, or so it felt, and to Varya, who was by chance the first person I was to tell, I confessed, “I will keep Ilyinskoye for my purposes of rest and replenishment, but all of my other palaces and properties I will give to Dmitri, just as Sergei would have wished. As for Maria, I will build an appropriate dowry-I will see to it that she will have no concerns for the rest of her life. As for all of these jewels before me now, I mean to divide them into three unequal parts. Those things that were presents from the Imperial Family will be returned to them and, where appropriate, to the State Treasury. A second lot, a much smaller one, shall be collected for gifts to my dearest ones-perhaps the emeralds to my brother and sisters abroad. And the third part, the largest, I shall sell.”
“Oh, my!” gasped Varya, clapping a hand to her mouth. “But, Your Highness, all… all of it?”
“Yes,” I said, with a surge of joy that filled my heart. “Absolutely all of it!”
But there was one more piece of fine jewelry not laid out. Looking down at my own slender hand, I saw that in the months since Sergei’s death my skin, neglected, had grown drier, and my nails were no longer those of a fashionable lady. And yet glistening on that hand was something quite gorgeous of platinum and brillianti, the thing that had bound me in holy pledge to my husband: my wedding ring.
Oh, it was time, and I was eager to leave those dazzling days behind, for my new calling was ever so much more important…
I hesitated not a moment, for I knew that the value of this single item alone could accomplish much. In a rapturous moment, I pulled from my finger the ring I had worn for more than twenty years, setting it firmly on my bed.
And with the joy of both liberation and anticipation, I proclaimed, “Yes, I will sell everything that I possess, for I have the absolute conviction to follow Christ’s Commandment: ‘Sell that thou hast, and give to the poor.’ Further, I have decided that I will pension off my servants and close entirely my court. You must help me sort these things, Varya, for I intend to dispose of every last one of these jewels, and with the proceeds to realize my great dream. On the other side of the Moscow River, down along Bolshaya Ordinka, I have found an impressive piece of property. It is upon these premises that I intend to build an obitel-that’s right, a cloister, a women’s monastery- dedicated to prayer, labor, and charity.”
Chapter 28 PAVEL
