“So this guy took my bad arm and tried to twist it right off. I can still feel it. Not to mention a fucking beer bottle on the back of my head. You know what I’m saying? I’ve got some personal motivation here.”
“Number one, I seem to recall getting sucker punched today,” Cap said. “You don’t think I have some personal motivation, too? And number two…”
“What?”
“As soon as you start talking about personal motivation, I know you’re not ready. This isn’t junior high school, Brucie.”
Brucie thought about it for a few seconds. He started to slow the car down. There was a turnoff ahead.
“I want him,” he finally said. “It’s your turn to wait in the car for once. That’s the way it’s gonna be. You got a problem?”
“There’s no reason to talk like that. If you want him so bad, go ahead. Knock yourself out, man.”
Brucie made a right turn. It was a narrow road, leading down toward the water.
“Leave the gun with him after you’re done,” Cap said. “It’s his, so it can’t come back to us.”
“Yeah, no kidding.”
“Wipe off your prints, though.”
“Gee, I never would have thought of that.”
Cap shook his head and smiled at me. “The man’s always been too sensitive,” he said. Like I should be in on the joke.
“I’ll go down here as far as I can,” Brucie said. The road was overgrown. I could hear the branches scratching at the sides of the vehicle.
“This is far enough,” Cap said. He glanced behind us, then forward, checking out the empty access road. I had a fraction of a second, but it was gone before I could move.
Cap tightened his grip on the gun, as if reading my mind. “You should feel honored,” he said to me. “Brucie’s gonna break his cherry on you.”
Natalie and me in the guest bedroom. The first time.
Natalie and me having dinner at the Ojibway Hotel.
Natalie and me on the island. When I almost lost her.
The road got even tighter. A large branch slapped at the windshield.
“You can stop now,” Cap said, “before you destroy the car.”
“I’m getting off the road, genius.”
“Nobody can see you now.”
“Like hell.”
“The car’s black. Nobody can see you.”
Brucie jammed on the brakes. If he had been going any faster, Cap would have been thrown into the front seat and things would have gotten interesting.
“The fuck’s the matter with you?” Cap said.
“Time to swap,” Brucie said. “You can be the chauffeur now.”
“Yeah, time to swap, so I can back this thing all the way out of here.”
Brucie opened his door and came around to our side.
“Come on,” Cap said to me. “Slide out my way. Nice and easy.”
He opened up his door and got out. He kept it open and waited for me, passing the gun to Brucie.
When I was standing level with him, Cap looked me in the eye. “Sweet dreams,” he said. I wanted to hit him again. Or better yet, I wanted to grab my keys and rake them right across his neck.
“Hurry it up,” Brucie said. He backed away into the brush so I wouldn’t be too close to him as we all maneuvered ourselves around. Cap went to the driver’s side. Brucie waved me away from the vehicle and closed the door.
“Walk,” he said. “That way.” He pointed down toward the water.
I walked. He stayed behind me. The way I was figuring it now, I had one last chance to improvise something. Create some sort of distraction, turn around and go for the gun. Either take it from him or knock it away long enough to make a break for it.
At least there was only one man to worry about now. My odds were that much better.
Yeah, right. I was fooling myself. I knew that. These were the last steps of my life. This air the last I would breathe.
I tripped and almost went down. With the sudden movement, I was sure I’d get it right then, square in the back. But it didn’t happen. I regained my footing and kept walking. I could see the edge of the water now. Lake Huron, sister to Lake Superior. I never would have dreamed this would be the last lake I’d ever see.
Natalie on the phone with me. The sound of her voice, so far away. To hear it one more time…
No, Alex. Don’t give in to this. This is not the way to go out.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Brucie said.
“If you’re expecting me to beg,” I said, “it’s not going to happen.” I didn’t turn to face him. I kept walking.
“You’re taking it like a man. I’ll give you that much.”
I wondered how this was going to happen. How many seconds I had left. It was dark here in the trees.
“You shouldn’t have come to the house,” he said.
“No kidding.”
“You did this for your Indian friend?”
“Yes.”
A few seconds passed.
“I had a friend like that once,” he said.
“If that’s true, you probably didn’t deserve him.”
A short laugh from behind me. “Tough to the end, eh?”
“I’d like to see how tough you’d be without the gun,” I said. It was a reach at this point, but what the hell. It was worth a shot.
He laughed again. “Yeah, I bet you would.”
Pine needles under my feet. The smell of fresh water. The cold air in my lungs. I was starting to feel dizzy.
“Stop here,” Brucie said.
I stopped. We were overlooking the water now, on a little bluff about twenty feet above the shoreline. The waves were two feet high, maybe three. It was a tame lake compared to Superior. Smaller waves, warmer water. I could see a sailboat in the distance. The sail bright yellow against a gray sky.
Clouds. No sun.
I would never see the sun again.
“It’s not much of a cliff,” Brucie said, “but it’s as good as we’re gonna find up here, eh?”
“If you’re gonna do it, do it,” I said. I turned to face him.
“Don’t you want to know why I told Cap I was gonna do this?”
“You gave him your reason.”
“There’s more to it.”
“Like what?”
“I knew what he would have done to you if it was him. The thing you gotta remember about Cap…Fuck, man…”
He shook his head, looked away like he was trying to banish a memory. If it was a distraction, I was too far away from him to try anything now. I had officially passed beyond all hope.
“He would have made it slow,” he said. “Emptied the whole damned gun, even though that’s the stupidest fucking thing you can do. Make you get down on your knees, all that bullshit. Believe me, I’ve seen it. More than once. And each time it gets worse.”
Natalie’s face. One more time. I had to see it. I closed my eyes and willed her to appear in my mind.
God damn it all, one more time. Please.
“You probably saved Harry’s life. Hell, for all I know you saved my life, too. Despite everything else…”
Her eyes. Her hair. The scar on her chin.
