his heart at this proof that he could alarm her, over this or anything else.
“About Penny?” she asked huskily.
“And about you.”
“George —”
“Kate,” he interrupted, “there may be a thousand and one reasons why you haven’t told me this or haven’t told me that, but just now I’m only concerned about one thing.” He paused, and her expression pleaded: “What thing?” So he told her quickly: “About your health.”
Her eyes grew very, very bright; tear-bright. When she closed them, tears forced their way through. He sat, gripping the edge of the table, not wanting to move to comfort her and comfort himself, until he knew the truth. And now she frightened him simply because she was frightened: she would not behave like this if she were not. His knuckles whitened as he watched her trying to speak; saw her lips quivering. Still he sat there, and now his own eyes were stinging as he had not known them sting for years.
“George,” she managed, at last. “Oh, George, I-I am worried.”
“About what, love?” he asked gently.
“I — I keep getting pains. I — I keep thinking of cancer. Oh, George!”
He thought: Oh, my God, and she couldn’t tell me-she couldn’t tell me! There was both self-reproach and reproach for her in his mind, but it hovered on the surface and did not reveal itself even by implication. He had to sit here until she had finished; he dare not let himself move closer to her.
“The chances against it are pretty long, love,” he made himself say calmly. “Have you seen a doctor?”
“Yes. I-I went to the hospital.” She had somehow not trusted or not been able to confide in the family doctor -probably because she knew he would tell, or make her tell, her husband. “I was X-rayed, today.”
“That’s where you were!” he exclaimed.
“Yes. George, I — oh, George, I’m sorry. I — I’m sorry, I —”
Now, she began to cry. And now, at last, he could go to her; stand behind her, hold her as she buried her face in her hands and the sobs shook her body as if she felt her world were coming to an end. He did not speak, or caress, or even move, until after a while he placed his lips against her hair. Soon, she calmed; and he placed his hands on her elbows and in a way he had often done with the children, eased her to her feet. Then he led her through to the sitting-room, and helped her into his own big armchair. As he raised her feet on to a pouffe, he remarked inconsequentially: “Did I ever tell you I first fell for your legs?”
“Oh, George!” She gave a funny, choking little laugh.
“Fact.” He turned to a sideboard and took out brandy and glasses, talking all the time: “I’d been out to Milton Park -it was the beginning of the Rugger season and I was pretty active, then. Nothing like so fat! And you were playing tennis-all knee-length white skirt and ankle-socks: what your darling daughter would probably call square, or what goes for square, today. And I was fascinated. Never seen such long and attractive legs. Mind you, my eyes did soon travel to higher things.” He was smiling down on her, now. He gave her the brandy, then perched on the arm of the chair. “So you had an X-ray?”
“Yes.”
“Any official comment?”
“Not really. She said the doctor-a Dr. Phillips — would let me know in a day or two.”
“Where did you go, love?”
“South Western.”
“I’ll have a word with them in the morning.” He smiled, pressed her shoulder, then stood up and crossed to a small chair. Sitting squarely opposite her, he asked: “How do you feel, truly?”
“I get pains — here.” She placed her hand just above her waist and just below her left breast. “I know it’s the sort of tiling-well, I know women always are terrified of cancer, but—’
“A pain that gets you down is nothing to laugh off,” he told her, equably despite his thumping heart. “How are you at this moment?”
“I feel better than I have for weeks, George. I suppose it’s psychological — I came back and had a good cry and I felt much brighter! I haven’t enjoyed getting a meal so much for a long time. I knew the children wouldn’t be home.” She closed her eyes, looking thoroughly contented, and Gideon felt a warmth of contentment creeping over him. Tomorrow he would pull strings to get the result of that X-ray fast. But looking at Kate now, he could not believe there was anything seriously wrong with her.
He thought, without tension, of what was happening at Hampstead. Hobbs could cope. Thank God for Hobbs!
That brought him, sharply, to Penelope. Sharply; but to his surprise, without a jolt. Kate opened her eyes and spoke in a quiet voice. There was a degree of telepathy between them: the kind that often grows between husband and wife.
“Did Alec tell you how he feels about Penelope?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said, quietly.
“How did it — affect you?”
“I still don’t know,” he told her, frankly. “The main thing is, how does it affect Penny?”
After a long pause, Kate nodded. “I’m not sure she knows. I really do think she sometimes sees him as an elder brother; or an uncle. At least I think she does. But it’s remarkable how often she has a wild affair with a boy her own age, and then rushes back to Alec. He is ‘family’, to her.”
Gideon said: “I see.”
