“Great!” I say.
“Let’s go to your fiancé’s office first.”
“Great!” I say, taking another bite of cannoli. “Now?”
“No time like the present,” he says and I stuff the rest of the cannoli into my mouth, followed by a big swig of my cappuccino. “I’ve got my camera in the car. I’ll drive you into the city.”
Now, my mother always taught me that I shouldn’t get into a car with a stranger. But, surely a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of my father would not be considered a stranger, now, would he? Even if he may or may not have the capacity, connections and mental wherewithal to fit me for concrete shoes and then drop me into the Hudson.
Forty-five minutes later, we’ve listened to the entire side A of Frank Sinatra’s
“This is a surprise,” Jack says, as he looks up from his desk to find Jay and me at his office door.
I walk into Jack’s office first, with Jay following me with his camera on his shoulder, as if I’m Ed McMahon coming with an oversized check.
“We just thought we’d get some footage of you at work,” I say, giving him a peck on the lips. “You know, for the wedding video.”
“Great,” he says, getting up from his desk. “Have you eaten yet? I can take a break right now and we can run down to the cafeteria for something to eat.”
“Keep filming,” I say to Jay. And then, to Jack: “No, honey, I just had a quick bite. And, anyway, I want Jay to get some footage of you working for the wedding video.”
“You want footage of my office for the wedding video?” Jack asks, brushing his hand through his shaggy brown hair.
“Why, of course!” I say, as if to say: “Doesn’t
“Okay,” Jack says, reluctantly going back behind his desk.
“Just look natural,” I tell him.
“Right,” Jack says, looking around his office, no doubt, for Alan Funt to jump out from behind his potted plant. Or at the very least Ashton Kutcher.
“Anyway, I have way too much work to do today to stay here,” I tell Jack, already kissing him lightly on the lips and heading out to leave. “That you assigned to me.”
Jack laughs and tells me that he loves me as I walk out. I grab Jay and whisper to him that if he
As I hit the button for the elevator, I wonder if I have time to make a quick visit to Vanessa’s office. I turn around, about to make my way down the hallway, and see an old junior partner I used to work for.
“Hi there, Larry,” I say with a forced smile. I never liked him much when I was an associate at Gilson, Hecht, and my absence from the firm most certainly has not made my heart grow any fonder.
“Miller,” he says, “Just who I wanted to see. Are you available for a meeting right this minute? Go grab a legal pad, I need you.”
“What?” I say. What on earth is he talking about? Did this guy actually miss the fact that I left the firm almost a year ago? Did he really
Make no mistake: the Exit E-mail Memo is a true art. When associates at large Manhattan law firms leave, what they
From: “Brooke Miller” <[email protected]>
To: “NYC office” <[email protected]>
Subject: I am so out of here, SUCKERS!!!
I hate you. All of you. You have truly made my life a living hell from the minute I walked in the door here, and, while I learned a lot, I would much rather have been working as a gas station attendant at some gas station in God’s Country, USA. Which, come to think of it, is really how most of you made me feel most of the time, so I guess I broke even.
I really only ever worked here because you paid me so darn much as a first year and I had massive student loans to pay. Now that I’ve dug myself out of debt, if I have to look at any of your ugly faces for another second, I might actually have to stab myself in the eye.
Signing off,
Faceless associate #536
Brooke Miller
Gilson, Hecht and Trattner
425 Park Avenue
11th Floor
New York, New York 10022
*****CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE*****
The information contained in this e-mail message is confidential and is intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above. If you are not the intended recipient, we would request you delete this communication without reading it or any attachment, not forward or otherwise distribute it, and kindly advise Gilson, Hecht and Trattner by return e-mail to the sender or a telephone call to 1 (800) GILSON. Thank you in advance.
What I actually said was:
From: “Brooke Miller” <[email protected]
To: “NYC office” <[email protected]
Subject: a fond farewell to everyone at Gilson, Hecht and Trattner
As many of you know, today is my last day at Gilson, Hecht and Trattner. It has been an amazing five years here, and in the time that I’ve been at the Firm, I have had the honor to work with some of the most outstanding attorneys practicing law in New York City today. I’ve made some of my best friends in the world here and I truly treasured my time spent here at the Firm.
It may be time for me to move on to a new adventure, but I will always look back on my time at Gilson, Hecht fondly.
Best regards,
Brooke
Brooke Miller
Gilson, Hecht and Trattner
425 Park Avenue
11th Floor
New York, New York 10022
*****CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE*****
The information contained in this e-mail message is confidential and is intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above. If you are not the intended recipient, we would request you delete this communication without reading it or any attachment, not forward or otherwise distribute it, and kindly advise Gilson, Hecht and Trattner by return e-mail to the sender or a telephone call to 1 (800) GILSON. Thank you in
