“Are you asking if he got caught with his dick out?”
“Good one. Since you brought it up, did the report specify?”
“It did. Care to bet?”
“Fifty bucks says it was out.”
“Is that your bet?”
“It is.”
“I’ll pay you next time I see you.”
“All jokes aside,” I say. “Was he doing something wrong?”
“He was clean and faithful a year ago,” Lou says. “But people can change.”
“Can you get me someone else to keep an eye on Kimberly? I want to make sure she’s safe.”
“I’ll work on it.”
When I enter the consultation room a few minutes later, I’m holding a syringe in my hand.
“How about it George? Got a solution to my problem yet?”
38.
“UIC,”George says.
“What’s that?”
“A possible solution for your problem.”
“Tell me.”
“UIC, the University of Illinois at Chicago, has the strongest Magnetic Resonance Imaging Machine in the world. It’s got a 45 ton magnet that generates a 9.4 Tesla magnetic field!”
“Pretend I’m not as smart as you and tell me why that’s a big deal.”
“Most MRI machines generate 3 Tesla.”
“Talk to me, George. I have no idea what you’re saying.”
“If you can arrange to be scanned by that particular machine for at least twenty minutes, the magnetic field it generates should be powerful enough to erase the data imbedded in the chip.”
“ Should be able to?”
“There are no guarantees, of course, but yes. I’m virtually certain.”
“If the machine is that special, there’s probably a long waiting list to use it.”
“I’m sure. Do you have any government connections?”
I do. My boss, Darwin, could get me in there in minutes. Unfortunately, he’s the one who ordered the chip placed in my brain.
“No,” I say.
“Then you’d have to wait awhile. But you can’t.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because Boris is going to kill my family.”
“You seem like an honest man,” I say.
“Thanks.”
“You’re asking me to sacrifice my life. Would you sacrifice your life to save my family?”
He pauses. “ Your family? No. Your family and thousands of others? Yes, absolutely.”
“How about your family?”
“Of course.”
“I believe you.”
I press the syringe into his neck. As he starts to die, I say, “You’re a good man. I’ll make sure your family is safe. You have my word.”
I didn’t want to kill George, but it was the smart play. Now that he’s dead, Boris has nothing to gain by killing George’s family. The Las Vegas terror cell will think Boris killed George, which will help appease them. I can de- magnetize the chip and kill the terrorists, and live to kill more of them. It’s not that I’m unwilling to sacrifice myself, I just think I’m more valuable alive than dead.
As I head for the tool box to remove the staplers from the table, I realize I’ve got another problem. Who do I trust to hold the ceramic device while I’m getting the MRI? I can’t take the device in there with me, for fear the magnet will destroy its imprint. Without that, I wouldn’t be able to detonate the chips.
I stop to think who I trust enough to safeguard the device for twenty minutes.
Callie could do it, but can I trust her not to press the button four times while I’m in the imaging room? Until a few weeks ago I would’ve trusted her completely. But she’s made comments recently that make me wonder. I seriously doubt she’d kill me while I’m on the table. Then again, she might.
I could certainly trust Kimberly, if she’ll take my call.
I open my cell phone and try.
No answer.
I leave a message: “Kimberly, please call me when you get this message. Anytime before nine a.m. tomorrow morning, eastern time.”
If I can get an appointment tomorrow I’ll fly Kimberly to Chicago by private jet. She can hold the device for twenty minutes and maybe spend a day or two with me. Maybe we can patch things up between us.
What if she doesn’t call back? Who then?
Not Lou Kelly. He tried to kill me once already.
Not Rachel, my girlfriend. She’s living in an underground bunker, having her eggs harvested by the government. Plus, she’s homicidal.
Not Gwen. She tried to kill me today.
Not Janet, the ex-wife. She’d love to see me dead.
Not Darwin, my boss. He wants the chip active so he can kill me whenever it suits him.
What about…Beth?
Beth Daniels owns The Seaside, a quaint little bed and breakfast in St. Alban’s Beach, Florida. She and I never hooked up in the classic sense, but there was some serious chemistry between us during the short time Rachel and I worked for her. We sort of left things in limbo, and I never called her back, figuring she’s better off without me. She’s the right woman for me, but I’m all wrong for her, which is why I can’t ask her to fly to Chicago to safeguard a chip for me.
I would certainly trust Kathleen Gray. Well, her last name isn’t Gray anymore, which is one of the two reasons I can’t ask her to safeguard the chip. The other is she thinks I’m dead. Kathleen’s a married woman now, living in New York, and it would completely disrupt her life if I suddenly appeared.
I trust two others: Miranda Rodriguez, and Nadine Crouch. Miranda’s my favorite hooker, and Nadine’s my former shrink.
It’s pitiful to admit the list of friends I can trust is shorter than the list of friends who’ve tried to kill me.
39.
If Kimberly calls me back, she’s my first choice. If not, I’ll try Miranda. Why Miranda over Nadine? She’s non-judgmental, she’s beautiful, and she’d love to fly to Chicago to spend a couple of romantic days with me. For a fee. Assuming another client hasn’t booked her yet, and that she’s not busy with a project at NYU, where she’s working toward her Master’s in Counseling Psychology.
I decide to call Miranda, to put her in the on-deck position in case Kimberly fails to call. When her voice mail comes on, I leave a message. When I hang up, it dawns on me I left her and Kimberly the same message. It also registers I have three women in my life who are twenty years old. One’s my daughter, one’s my lover, and the third is Gwen, who tried to have me killed today, after having sex.
I know what you’re thinking. I need to get involved with a nice woman my own age, right? Problem is, I
