‘Let me get this straight,’ said Joe. ‘In Trahorne Refining, when a package came in, it went directly into the incinerator without being checked through.’
‘That’s correct.’
‘But in the lab you worked in before, you separated out these grindings, solids and sweeps.’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Talk me through what happened with the package you opened.’
‘OK. The package came in from Dean Valtry’s lab in New York City. It’s a fifty-five gallon paper drum, about thirty inches high, eighteen inches across. I weighed it. Then I opened it and put everything in a big steel tray, which goes into the incinerator. I was pulling out a lot of black clothes and I found solids like I told you about, sweepings, some sheets of paper that the sweepings had been on, a piece of carpet. I’m shaking out the clothes and I see stains.’ He leaned forward. ‘And I know they’re bloodstains.’
‘So what did you do?’ said Danny.
‘I left everything and went up to Mr Trahorne’s office with one of the items, a black top with a zip in it to show him. First of all I had to wait around for him – he was in a meeting. So I sat outside his office reading a magazine.’ He shrugged. ‘Like, a half hour later, his secretary comes out to get me. She’s all, like, don’t be bothering the boss for long. So I go in and Mr Trahorne asks me what I’ve been doing for the past half hour.’ Curtis rolled his eyes. ‘So I ignore that, but I tell him what happened with the package. And he listens to me and explains about how dental technicians can get blood on things if they cut their finger on the scalpels or whatever. And I’m like, I’m not a retard: this is a lot of blood, here. And I spread the thing out on his desk, which totally pisses him off. Then he grabs the top from me, walks me back down to “my post” he calls it and throws everything in the tray, pushes it into the incinerator. Looked me right in the eye afterwards and said, “I’m not paying you to sort. Or to take time out to bother me.” I’m, like, “some dude could have got hurt.” Trahorne’s looking at me like I’m such a dirt-bag he can’t believe I’d give a shit. That pissed me off. Then, I come in a week later and he’s letting me go.’ Curtis shrugged. ‘I’ll get other work, I know that. But, you know, I’s just trying to do the right thing.’
‘Mr Trahorne says you stole from the lab.’
Curtis looked up. ‘OK, yeah I did. A little platinum foil. One time.’
‘And he says you hold a grudge towards him because he fired you.’
‘Yeah. I do.’
Danny smiled.
‘I do hold a grudge,’ said Curtis. ‘Doesn’t make me a liar.’
‘OK,’ said Joe.
‘Also,’ said Curtis, ‘I ain’t got no grudge against that Valtry lab. I don’t know them. Why would I say this shit and imprecate them?’
‘We’re not accusing you of implicating them.’
He raised his head slowly and stared Danny down. ‘I said “imprecate”. It’s a word. Look it up.’
Danny let out a breath.
Joe arrived home at 8.30 and stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, rubbing his stubbled jaw. He slipped a blade from his razor and flicked it towards the bin. It hit the wall first, then bounced onto the floor, taking some garbage with it. He bent down to pick it up and saw a scrunched-up drugstore receipt. He glanced at the two items on it: Tara’s SplashBronze tanner and something that sent his stomach into spasm: a pregnancy test. He ran his hands through the bin, looking for the box or the test. He couldn’t find them. He was about to give up, when he spotted the navy plastic cap of the test and pulled it free. Tests had changed. They now had a digital read-out. No checking symbols against a leaflet. No guessing. This one just told it like it was: PREGNANT. Shaun’s whole life flashed before his eyes. Joe checked the date on the receipt. It was a week old. Joe put down his razor and went to Shaun’s room.
‘Son, I’m going to cut to the chase here,’ he said, sitting on Shaun’s bed. Shaun swung his chair around from his desk.
‘Yeah?’
‘I hope you’re… you know… with Tara… uh, using protection.’
‘Oh my God,’ said Shaun, looking away.
‘I’m serious. You need to be careful.’
‘This is so embarrassing. What makes you think I’m not?’
‘Well, nothing. I just-’
‘Did we not have this talk, like, a few years ago?’
‘With everything that’s happened… I want to make sure you’re staying… sensible.’
‘I am… sensible.’
‘Good. Because if you’re having sex…’ He trailed off. They sat in silence.
‘I’m not,’ said Shaun eventually.
‘What?’ said Joe.
‘I’m not. We’re not, OK? I’m having a hard time… with… being close to someone.’
‘Oh,’ said Joe. ‘I thought-’ He stared at the floor.
Shaun stared at the floor. ‘The first time with Katie, I never. I mean, you know, it didn’t really happen. And that’s my last memory of
… sex. If I come close to that, I freeze. Like obviously, I can get… you know… but I just don’t want to go any further…’
‘Right. Shit. OK. Do you think… I mean… are you really ready, Shaun?’
Shaun frowned.
‘You’re young, you’re only just eighteen,’ said Joe, ‘and if things had been different in your life, I’d be giving you very different advice. I mean, you can’t always separate sex from emotion, whatever you might think. You have things to work through and I’m not so sure rushing into something with another girl is the right way to go.’
‘People are gonna think I’m some kind of weirdo.’ Shaun shook his head. ‘I can’t get Katie out of my mind. Anything that makes me go back to how I felt that night, I just can’t do it. I have this same dream where I meet her in the street or in a coffee shop or whatever, she’s always with some guy and there’s this feeling of hate coming from her. I’m trying to be friendly. Then everything goes all white and when I try to reach out to her, she slips back into this fog and I don’t get to touch her. And her face is always blank. She doesn’t smile at me. All I can think of is she died probably hating me.’
‘That’s not true. She loved you. You know that. You had an argument that night that was because of how much she loved you. If she was still here, you would have made up the next day. So she thought it was your first time too – you wouldn’t hate someone for that. You might feel dumb, but that’s all.’
‘She wouldn’t have walked home alone…’
‘Don’t,’ said Joe. ‘You’ll go over and over it until you go crazy. Everything that happened was out of your control. That’s one of the hardest parts about life – you don’t know what’s around the corner.’
They sat in silence for a few seconds. Joe wondered what game Tara was playing.
‘Shaun, are you and Tara exclusive? I mean, could Tara be seeing other guys?’
‘Jesus Dad, bad enough you’re on my case, I’m not going to start getting into Tara’s sex life with you… or lack of it, thanks for your sensitivity.’
‘Just, what’s your relationship with her exactly?’
‘OK, now you’re just sounding freaky.’
Anna knocked on the door and stepped in. ‘What do you think?’ she said. ‘New dress.’
‘Cool,’ said Shaun.
‘You’re going out tomorrow night,’ said Anna, ‘so I’m inviting your father to a special home cooked meal.’
‘You look beautiful,’ said Joe. ‘Very… healthy.’ She caught him staring at her chest.
‘Thank you,’ said Anna. ‘And thank Tara,’ she said to Shaun. ‘I bought some of her SplashBronze.’
