‘I should be over it, I mean, I am over it, obviously,’ she said, ‘but you know when you just think – what a shit. I was twenty-two years old, madly in love. I thought he was too until I caught him with a woman over twice his age, some fat, wealthy woman who even I knew he didn’t give a damn about. So that’s my Alan Moder story. I’m going into way too much detail. It’s just I’ve never got it off my chest. I’m married now. Alan showed up that time in the restaurant, trying to get me back after that witch he went off with died. So there you have it.’
‘Back to Valtry,’ said Danny. ‘Can you think of any reason he would have wanted to get in contact with you?’
She shrugged. ‘No. The three of us hung out together all the time, but it was more that he was Alan’s, like, only friend and so I was lumbered with him. He was – we just weren’t close. I’m still shocked he’s dead.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s so weird he tried to call me. That’s going to bug me. Let me know when you find out.’
‘Sure,’ said Joe. ‘What was Valtry like?’
‘He was fine,’ said Sonja. ‘Boring, if anything. Bookish, but dumb. Terrible combination,’ she laughed. ‘The type who tries to seem more intelligent, better than everyone at everything…’
‘Was he ever violent?’
‘Dean?’ She laughed. ‘No. Why do you ask?’
‘Just covering as much ground as we can, now that we have you here,’ said Danny.
‘Seeing that Alan Moder is the only link you can think of to Valtry,’ said Joe, ‘do you know how we could get a hold of him if we needed to?’
‘I wouldn’t be surprised if he still worked for Dean.’
‘No,’ said Danny. ‘We’ve been through employee records. He’s not there.’
‘I don’t know then. Let me think. He was from Maplewood, New Jersey, but I’d say he’s never been back there. He had a major falling out with his family. It was all very dysfunctional. But you could try them. His father’s name was Tony.’ She shrugged.
‘OK,’ said Joe. ‘Thanks a lot for your help.’
Shaun Lucchesi walked into the kitchen past his mother and grabbed a carton of juice from the fridge. He drank from it, then put it back in.
‘You will be pleased to hear it’s over between me and Tara.’
‘What?’ said Anna. ‘Why would I be pleased to hear that?’
Shaun stared at her. ‘Are you for real?’
‘What? I… she was cute,’ said Anna.
‘Sure,’ said Shaun. ‘You now think cute is, like, emaciated.’
‘She had a pretty face.’
‘Under all that makeup.’
Anna turned to him. He smiled and shrugged.
‘Want to hear something funny?’ he said.
She nodded.
‘I bought her a special edition of Romeo and Juliet because she told me how much she loved it and when I gave it to her she said, “Oh my God. It was the movie I liked. Leonardo di Caprio is so hot.”’
Anna laughed. ‘Oh la la.’
‘I know.’
Bobby Nicotero sat at his desk in the twentieth precinct. He worked well there. His shift had finished three hours earlier, but he didn’t want to go home. He read through copied pages of statements, making notes, highlighting, cross-checking. Nothing new was showing up. He sat back in his chair and started thinking about his two boys. He had a day off the next day – his first for weeks. They were going to the Sea, Air and Space Museum. He smiled. Then he turned back to his notes, drawn to a section of text, highlighted roughly in blue. Something finally clicked into place. He just needed to check one more thing.
Anna was lying on the sofa watching television and flicking through an oversized book of fabric samples. Joe arrived home and went straight upstairs to the bedroom. She followed him up.
‘Hi,’ she said.
‘Hi.’
‘How are you?’
‘Fine. How are you?’
‘Fine.’
He pulled off his suit jacket, then his shirt and tie.
‘Shaun broke up with Tara,’ said Anna.
‘Really?’
Anna nodded. ‘Yes.’
‘Yeah, I never ended up with the girls my ma didn’t like.’
‘You didn’t like her either.’
‘That’s not the point. It’s all about Mom. I think maybe it’s like a dog whistle. You send out some repel signal that’s only picked up by girls who look like tramps. Which is exactly what teenage boys are looking for.’
Anna slapped Joe’s shoulder.
‘What?’ he said, smiling. ‘It’s OK. I’m past that phase.’
‘We could have another boy and have to go through it all over again. Or worse – a girl to keep control of.’
Joe said nothing.
‘What?’ said Anna. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing,’ said Joe.
‘There is something. We have barely had a conversation this week-’
‘I’m pretty busy, Anna.’
‘Me too.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, yanking his belt from his trousers, ‘if I sometimes can’t connect your level of busy with mine, OK?’
‘That’s not fair.’
‘Life’s not fair. Who says life’s fair? The shit I see… I could care less if stripy wallpaper is making a fucking comeback. Can you see how that might not matter to me?’
Anna stared at him. ‘No-one can ever win with you, can they? You arrogant-’
‘Whoa, I’m not arrogant,’ said Joe. ‘I’m just not living up in the clouds…’
‘Up in the clouds?’ she shouted.
It spurred him on.
‘Yeah, making up these fake little worlds where everything is perfect and everyone is happy and the sun is shining and all the people are sitting on the sofas or dancing around their fucking kitchens and bedrooms in their cute underwear with their perfect bodies, with big smiles on their faces and-’
‘Are you OK?’ Anna said, her voice softer.
‘No! No I’m not.’
‘You’ve changed so much.’
Joe rolled his eyes. ‘Why do women say that shit?’
‘What?’
‘Look – it’s not a bad thing if I have changed, Anna. People change. At forty, you want to be married to some immature asshole with no clue about responsibility or no major ambition who likes to get drunk every weekend with the guys? You can’t start idealizing this guy you married.’
‘That’s the thing, it’s not idealizing you. I didn’t need to. You were-’
‘Don’t give me that crap. I used to drive you nuts, same as always.’
‘We never fought like this.’
Joe looked down. ‘No. We didn’t.’
‘What is wrong with you?’ said Anna.
‘OK. You want to know? You really want to know? I’m furious! You know, I’ve tried to be cool, but I’m not. We have one more year before Shaun goes to college and I thought great, just the two of us, you know? I cannot believe that right when I think my life is going to go one way, someone hits rewind and I’m right back where I was
