trusted would sound like laughter. He was looking at the ceiling, without smiling.
‘The thing is,’ said Mrs Hammond, ‘are you by any chance still in possession of that table? Because if you are I think perhaps I had better come round and see you.’
There rushed into Mr Jeffs’ mind the vision of further attic rooms, of Mrs Hammond furnishing them with the table and anything else she could lay her hands on. He saw Mrs Hammond walking down a street, looking at beds and carpets in shop windows, her elbow grasped by a man who was not her husband.
‘Hullo, Mr Jeffs,’ said Mrs Hammond. ‘Are you there?’
‘Yes, I am here,’ said Mr Jeffs. ‘I am standing here listening to you, madam.’
‘Well?’ said Mrs Hammond.
‘I’m sorry to disappoint you about the table.’
‘You mean it’s sold? Already?’
‘I’m afraid that is the case.’
‘Oh God in heaven!’
‘I have other tables here. In excellent condition and keenly priced. You might not find a visit here a waste of time.’
‘No, no.’
‘I do not as a rule conduct my business in that way: customers coming into my house and that. But in your case, since we are known to one another –’
‘It wouldn’t do. I mean, it’s only the table I sold you I am possibly interested in. Mr Jeffs, can you quickly give me the name and address of the person who bought it?’
This question caught Mr Jeffs off his guard, so he at once replaced the telephone receiver. Mrs Hammond came through again a moment or so later, after he had had time to think. He said:
‘We were cut off, Mrs Hammond. There is something the matter with the line. Sir Andrew Charles was twice cut off this morning, phoning from Nigeria. I do apologize.’
‘I was saying, Mr Jeffs, that I would like to have the name and address of the person who bought the table.’
‘I cannot divulge that, Mrs Hammond. I’m afraid divulgences of that nature are very much against the rules of the antique dealers’ association. I could be struck off for such a misdemeanour.’
‘Oh dear. Oh dear, Mr Jeffs. Then what am I to do? Whatever is the answer?’
‘Is this important? There are ways and means. I could, for instance, act as your agent. I could approach the owner of the table in that guise and attempt to do my best.’
‘Would you, Mr Jeffs? That is most kind.’
‘I would have to charge the customary agent’s fee. I am sorry about that, Mrs Hammond, but the association does not permit otherwise.’
‘Yes, yes, of course.’
‘Shall I tell you about that fee, how it’s worked out and what it may amount to? It’s not much, a percentage.’
‘We can fix that up afterwards.’
‘Well, fine,’ said Mr Jeffs, who meant when he spoke of a percentage thirty-three and a third.
‘Please go up to twice the price you paid me. If it seems to be going higher I’d be grateful if you’d telephone for instructions.’
‘That’s the usual thing, Mrs Hammond.’
‘But do please try and keep the price down. Naturally.’
‘I’ll be in touch, Mrs Hammond.’
Walking about his house, shaking his body to keep his circulation in trim, Mr Jeffs wondered if tables nowadays had a part to play in lovers’ fantasies. It was in his interest to find out, he decided, since he could accumulate tables of the correct kind and advertise them astutely. He thought for a while longer and then entered his van. He drove it to Mrs Galbally’s attic room, taking a chance on finding her there.
‘Why, Mr Jeffs,’ said Mrs Galbally.
‘Yes,’ said Mr Jeffs.
She led him upstairs, trailing her curiosity behind her. She is thinking, he thought, that I have come to sell her another thing or two, but she does not care to order me out in case she is wrong, in case I have come to blackmail her.
‘Well, Mr Jeffs, what can I do for you?’
‘I have had a handsome offer for the Louis XVI table. Or a fairly handsome offer. Or an offer that might be turned into an exceedingly handsome offer. Do you take my meaning?’
‘But the table is mine. Are you telling me you wish to buy it back?’
‘I am saying something of the kind. I received hint of this offer and thought I should let you know at once. “I will act as Mrs Galbally’s agent,” I said to myself, “in case she is at all tempted to dispose of the article at one and a half times what she paid for it.’ ”
‘Oh, but no, Mr Jeffs.’
