“Not in New Ottosland, Miss Telford,” said Melissande, leading the way into the parlour. “In New Ottosland, royalty is accustomed to an extensive entourage.”
Having shut the front door, Miss Telford joined them in the now uncomfortably crowded parlour. “I see, Your Highness,” she said. “Except-I thought you wanted to remain incog-”
“Oh, I did,” said Melissande. “I mean, I do. But of course you know my secret, Miss Telford. So it’s all right. I can surround myself with all the facto-tums I want.”
“Yes, yes,” said Miss Telford. She was eyeing Reg with a nervous air. “And I see you brought your bird.”
“But not just any bird, remember?” said Bibbie, anarchically dimpling. “She’s the National Bird of New Ottosland and figures prominently on the kingdom’s coat of arms. I’m sure King Rupert will be thrilled when you tell him you’ve entertained his national symbol in your very own home.”
Miss Telford brightened. “Really? He will?”
“Certainly,” said Melissande, with a repressive look at Bibbie. “But let’s not tease ourselves with the prospect of delights to come. I’m afraid, Miss Telford, that we must discuss a considerably more serious matter.”
“Oh,” said Miss Telford, wilting slightly. “Then please, Your Highness, do have a seat.”
“Thank you,” said Melissande. “Miss Markham and I shall gladly sit. And you, of course, Miss Telford. Factotums don’t sit. Factotums stand and wait for royal commands.”
“Blimey,” Reg muttered in Gerald’s ear. “Princess Pushy’s off and running now. Let’s hope for all our sakes she doesn’t sprain a bloody ankle.”
Moving to stand before the fireplace, whose mantel was crowded with spinsterly knick-knacks, he nodded. Let’s hope indeed. He’d just have to trust that Melissande knew what she was doing. Or at least had sense enough to know when it was time to let him step in. He flicked a glance at Monk, who rolled his eyes and took an unobtrusive position by the parlour’s curtained window.
“Miss Telford,” said Melissande, perched on the edge of the ugliest looking armchair he’d ever seen. “I’m afraid that what I’m about to say might well shock you. It will doubtless distress you, and quite possibly alarm you. Of course I’m sorry about that, but-well-as a royal princess I have always done my duty.”
“Your duty?” said Eudora Telford, who’d chosen an equally ugly armchair to sit in. She plucked a lace-edged hanky from her sleeve and pressed it to her lips. “Are you saying it’s your duty to shock, distress and alarm me?”
“Miss Telford,” said Bibbie, who was seated on a hideous sofa, “she is. And speaking as the great-niece of Antigone Markham, the greatest president in the history of Ottosland’s Baking and Pastry Guild, I’d like you to accept my apologies also. You are a credit to the sisterhood, Eudora. More than that, you’re a credit to your country. And your poor country needs you now. Will you be brave? Will you be bold and resolute? Will you bear up under the burden Her Royal Highness is about to place upon your frail, womanly shoulders?”
Miss Telford was pressed so far back in her armchair it was in danger of tipping over. “Oh dear,” she whispered. “How terribly unexpected. I–I really don’t know.”
Melissande leaned forward and reached for Eudora Telford’s hand. “If you were anyone else, Eudora, I would quail at the thought of what I’m about to reveal. But I know the stuff you’re made of and I believe I can trust you’ll do the right thing, though it may be hard. Though it may break your kind and generous heart. Have I misjudged you, Eudora? Or can I now trust you with this dread secret?”
Eudora Telford nodded, mute as a swan.
Reg was gurgling into his ear. “Mad as mice, her and that Bibbie! And that gormless guppy Eudora’s twice as bad. Falling for that load of melodramatic poppycock? She’s a disgrace to the sisterhood, that’s what she is!”
“ Eudora,” said Melissande gravely, “something very wrong is going on at Wycliffe’s Airship Company. Something that’s endangering a great many lives.”
“What?” said Eudora Telford, stiffening. “Oh, no, Your Highness, you must be-”
“ Eudora.” Melissande gave the woman’s plump hand a little shake. “Trust, remember?”
“I’m sorry,” whispered Eudora Telford. “Please, do go on.”
“Miss Markham and I have been investigating a case of theft in the office,” Melissande continued. “By any chance did Permelia mention that to you?”
Eudora Telford shook her head, looking hurt. “No. No, she didn’t. And Permelia tells me everything.”
“Ha,” Reg muttered. “That’s what she thinks.”
“Never mind,” said Melissande. “I expect she was trying to protect the company. But you see, Eudora, the thing is, while we were looking into that trifling matter we stumbled across something far more serious. Something with dire implications for Ottosland. Something I think you’ve become tangled in. Because you’re such a very good friend, Eudora, and Permelia Wycliffe trusts you.”
“Oh,” said Eudora Telford faintly.
“And now I must make a confession, Eudora,” said Melissande. “Once you’ve heard it I only hope you can forgive me.”
Gerald exchanged an alarmed look with Monk. What? She wasn’t going to tell the silly woman about snooping through her purse, was she? About finding the gemstones? Because that would be a big mistake. Silly old biddies like Eudora Telford tended to have rigid views about certain things, like privacy and propriety and “Settle down, settle down,” Reg muttered. “Give madam some credit. She’s not going to scuttle this, I’ve taught her far too well.”
Eudora Telford’s eyes were enormous. “ Me forgive you, Your Highness?”
Melissande nodded. “Yes. Because you see, Eudora, last night… I lied to you.”
“Lied, Your Highness?” said Eudora Telford, in a very small voice. Tears brimmed in her faded eyes. “D’you mean-d’you mean His Majesty doesn’t want me to come to Court and cook for him?” The tears spilled down her cheeks. “Oh. Oh, my.”
Transfixed, Melissande stared at the woman. Gerald could almost see the thoughts whirligigging behind her eyes. “Ah-”
“Of course he does, Eudora!” said Bibbie. “That’s not what Her Highness meant. Tell Eudora what you meant, Melissande.”
Melissande stirred. “Yes. Of course. Ah-what I meant, Eudora, is that the invitation could’ve waited. The reason we followed you to South Ott is because we feared you were in danger.”
“In danger?” said Eudora Telford, dabbing her cheeks dry with her hanky. “Me?”
“Oh yes,” said Bibbie fervently. “Terrible danger. Awful danger. Dreadful danger. The kind of danger that-”
“ Thank you, Emmerabiblia,” said Melissande, glaring. “I think the lily is sufficiently gilded.” She looked again at Eudora Telford. “I’m sorry, Eudora. Please be brave, because there’s more. We believe Permelia is in peril too.”
“ Permelia?” gasped Eudora, her hanky dropping unheeded to the carpet. “Oh no! Are you sure?”
“Yes,” said Melissande. “Which is why it’s imperative that you tell me what you were doing in South Ott, Eudora. Because there’s a good chance you hold the key not only to saving Ottosland from a terrible tragedy… but more importantly, saving Permelia as well.”
“Blimey,” Reg muttered. “Madam’s getting really good at this.”
Watching Melissande’s excruciatingly manipulative performance, Gerald could only agree. Heartfelt sincerity was practically oozing from her pores. She was wasted being plain Miss Cadwallader: Rupert should get her onto New Ottosland’s diplomatic merry-go-round without delay. He glanced at Monk, who was staring at Melissande with such a fatuous look on his face…
Blimey. Smitten doesn’t even begin to cover it.
“Eudora,” said Melissande, her green eyes terrifyingly intent behind her glasses. “I know it feels like you’d be betraying a confidence. I know what it’s like to care so much for someone that you’d do practically anything to keep them safe… even when that little voice in your head is trying to tell you that might not be what’s best for them. Listen to that little voice, Eudora. You and I both know it always speaks the truth.”
Silly Eudora Telford blinked, her plump face softly undecided. And then it settled into firmer lines. Something approaching determination pressed her plump lips together. Melissande, seeing the change, released the woman’s hand and sat back.
