cropped close to his skull. It gave him the look of a man suffering from a rampaging fever.
“No, no, not at all, Prime Minister,” he said. His voice was cracked and close to breaking. “But these matters-they must be discussed-debated-mulled over-put to a vote. You understand, sir. They cannot be rushed.”
Attaby closed his eyes briefly. “Yes, President Damooj. I remember.”
“I’m sorry?” said Damooj, frowning. “I don’t-”
He rapped his knuckles on the conference table, making Attaby jump. And when the shadbolted fool looked at him, he raised a warning finger. It was all he needed; Attaby shuddered, nearly swaying with fright.
“President Damooj, I am a busy man,” he said huskily. “Give me your answer.”
“You already know my answer,” said Damooj, through gritted teeth. “We capitulate. Babishkia’s wizards and witches are being rounded up as we speak.”
“To be held under thaumaturgical lock and key?” said Attaby. “In a secure and secret location?”
A bead of sweat rolled down Damooj’s cheek. Or was it a tear? It was hard to tell the difference through the crystal. “Yes. As directed.”
Attaby nodded. “That is satisfactory. Continue the good work. A-a-representative of my government will be contacting you in due course. Well done, President Damooj. You’ve made the right decision.”
Damooj didn’t answer that. He just disconnected the call.
“Oh, Gerald! ” squealed Bibbie, and kissed him. “It’s happening. It’s really happening. Everything is falling into place, just like you said.”
Delighted, he leaped up from his chair and romped her around the Cabinet room in a fast waltz. Ending the impromptu dance with a dip and a kiss, he then turned to Attaby.
“We have our military on alert? And the portals locked on to Babishkia?”
Attaby nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“What about their portals?”
“Disabled, sir, as you ordered.”
“Excellent. Then as soon as Damooj confirms their arrests are complete give the order, Prime Minister.”
Attaby nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“Oh, Gerald, this is so exciting,” said Bibbie, clapping her hands. “Ottosland’s very first invasion.”
Yes. And once Babishkia fell, the other lesser nations would fall twice as fast… provided he was able to hold off Gonegal and his short-sighted allies in the UMN.
But failure wasn’t something he thought about. He couldn’t fail. He was Gerald Dunwoody.
He slapped Bibbie’s temptingly rounded behind. “Go and fetch the Professor, Bibs. Taking Babishkia won’t help us if the machine’s not ready. It’s time Gerry rolled his sleeves up and got down to work.”
Bibbie’s hand on his shoulder startled him out of his doze. Seeing her sweet face beside his, smiling, he thought for the briefest moment that it really had been the worst kind of dream. And then he blinked… and the Cabinet dining room swam back into one-eyed focus.
The disappointment was so sharp that he gasped.
“Come along, Gerry,” said the Bibbie with short hair and makeup. “Gerald wants you.”
In numb silence he followed her back to the Cabinet room, where his counterpart was sitting in a chair with his crossed heels on the conference table. His only company was shadbolted Prime Minister Attaby, whose dull stare was carefully trained upon the carpet.
“Ah! Professor!” said the other Gerald, with a genial smile. “There you are. Ready to go?”
He was desperate to know what they’d been up to while he twiddled his thumbs in the dining room. He wanted to ask, but something dangerously brittle in the other Gerald’s voice dissuaded him. Whatever had happened, he thought it had sickened Attaby. There was some new strain in the shadbolted man’s gray face…
The other Gerald swung his feet to the floor. “Right. So, now that things are under control here for the next little while, you and I and Bibbie are going to-”
On the conference table, the large crystal ball chimed.
“Damooj again?” said the other Gerald, surprised. “My word, that was fast.” He glared at Attaby. “Well, come on man, don’t stand there like a noggin. Find out what he wants!”
“Yes, sir,” said Attaby, and accepted the call.
The crystal ball’s flashing green light was replaced by a man with a wolfish face and bright blue eyes full of disdain. Gerald felt his blood leap. Tambotan of Jandria. Jandria? What the devil was this?
Attaby flicked an anguished glance at the other Gerald and eased a finger between his collar and his throat. “Ah-Prime Minister Tambotan. Greetings, sir.”
“I do not care for your greetings, Attaby,” Tambotan snarled. “I want to speak to him. Send for him immediately.”
Bibbie sighed, rolling her eyes. “Y’know, Gerald,” she whispered loudly, “I’m beginning to think it was a mistake to pay Jandria any attention at all. Tambotan can’t seem to grasp he’s not in charge.”
Standing, the other Gerald cupped his hand to the back of her neck and kissed her, hard. “Don’t fret, Bibs. He’ll grasp it soon enough. But I do appreciate you getting all… hot and bothered… on my behalf.”
Bibbie laughed, but she was blushing. “I’ll always get hot and bothered for you, Gerald.”
“Glad to hear it,” the other Gerald said. “Now shut up. Like politicians, beautiful women should be seen and almost never heard.” Abandoning dumbstruck Bibbie, he approached the crystal ball. “What d’you want, Tambotan? I thought I made it clear I wasn’t to be bothered again.”
“And I thought I made it clear,” retorted Tambotan, “that there would be no alliance with Jandria unless certain conditions were met.”
The other Gerald was smiling, but he wasn’t amused. “I met the conditions I was interested in meeting. You can wait for the rest.”
“Why should I?” demanded Tambotan.
“You haven’t proven yourself trustworthy, that’s why,” the other Gerald retorted. “Once you’ve lost a few dozen of those airships I helped you build, defending Ottosland from the UMN, then I’ll think about giving you something else.”
Tambotan’s glare should have ignited the ether. “At least give us the weapons you promised. The thaumaturgically-enhanced guns.”
The other Gerald heaved a put-upon sigh. “You see, Professor?” he said, turning. “This is what happens when you give people things without getting something in return. They start taking you for granted. I swear, the way he keeps putting his hand out you’d think I was a genie in a magic lamp.”
Gerald cleared his throat. “You gave the Jandrians airship designs? Didn’t you have the war here, too? When they used airships to-”
“Yes, yes, but that was then and this is now,” said his counterpart impatiently. “Now they’re fighting with us, not against us. At least that’s the idea.” He turned back to the crystal ball. “All right, Tambotan. You can have the souped-up guns. I’ll make the arrangements. Just you be ready, you and the others, in case the UMN won’t take bugger off for an answer. Right?”
Tambotan, his eyes narrowed, touched his forehead in formal salute. “We’ll be ready.”
“Of course,” said the other Gerald, once the crystal ball connection was severed, “what Tambotan doesn’t know is that I’ve embedded an incant in the weapons that means one word from me and they’ll go up like fireworks. Never give a man a gun unless you’ve made sure he can’t point it at you, Professor. Bibbie!”
Bibbie roused out of her slouching sulk. “Yes?”
“How long has your brother been shut away in his lab, now?”
“Um-” She frowned at the ceiling. “Three days, twelve hours and twenty-four-no, make that five- minutes.”
“Really? Is it that long?” said the other Gerald briskly. “Gosh. I’ll bet the poor chap’s lonely. I think he’d like some company, don’t you?”
“Oh, yes,” said Bibbie. The sly smile was back, as though she and the other Gerald were sharing a private joke. “I’m sure he would.”
“Then let’s pay him a visit and see where he’s up to. For his sake I hope he’s got the job done, as promised.
