that the child had to be given away.
It was a Thursday afternoon when Karin went out riding in the woods alone. Her horse fell and ended up lame, so she had to lead him home. On the way back, she passed the riding teacher’s remote farm, and she went in to borrow the phone to ring for help.
The riding teacher was home alone. He explained that his wife and children were away. They put the horse in the stable and went back to the house.
He invited her to sit in the living room and offered her a glass of juice before she used the phone.
The next second, he was on her, tearing off her sweater and riding breeches, raping her right there on the burgundy carpet. She could still remember how the rug scratched against her bare back.
Afterwards, she was allowed to use the phone. Her father came to get her and the horse. The riding teacher was very pleasant and completely unfazed.
Karin didn’t tell anyone, not even her parents. Occasionally, she would run into the riding teacher in town, at the post office or in the Konsum supermarket; she felt nauseated every time she saw him. He pretended nothing had happened.
When she missed her period and began throwing up in the mornings, she repressed the whole episode. The shame was too great. In the end, she couldn’t hide it any longer. Even though she wore baggy sweaters, her mother saw that her belly was sticking out and took her to the local clinic. By then she was five months pregnant, and it was too late to have an abortion.
At first it was a relief to tell her parents what had happened. Even though she felt ashamed and guilty, she knew in her heart that she wasn’t to blame. But just the fact that he’d been in her knickers, and inside of her, made her feel strangely ashamed. She told herself that when her parents found out about it they would help her, take charge of everything and see to it that this terrible wrong would be redressed. They would report the riding teacher to the police, see to it that he had to answer for his actions to his family and be put in jail for the crime he’d committed. Justice in the end would prevail.
But their reaction shocked her. Not only did they refuse to report the riding teacher to the police, they refused even to talk about what had happened. They chose to pretend it had never occurred, as if, deep inside, they didn’t believe her. Karin would never forget the humiliation. They told her that, since she was so far along, the only option was to give the baby up for adoption; there was nothing else to discuss. Karin didn’t object; she wanted to get rid of all traces of the rape. She wanted to continue being young.
But after the birth, everything changed. That was when the worst betrayal occurred, when she regretted her decision and wanted to keep the baby. Her parents’ claim that it was impossible, since the papers had already been signed, turned out to be a lie. Something died inside her on the day she gave birth to the baby and had to give her up.
This was the secret Karin had kept to herself her entire adult life. Eventually, she moved to Stockholm and stayed with relatives while she attended college.
Then she was admitted to the Police Academy. When she received her first job offer on Gotland, she hesitated at first, but in the end she accepted. She thought she needed to move on, that she’d come through the worst of it. Ten years had passed, after all. The riding teacher who had raped her was long since dead, so at least there was no chance of running into him again. Her parents, now old, still lived in Tingstade, and she visited them now and then, out of politeness.
They never discussed the matter.
Was it disastrous that she’d allowed Vera Norrstrom to go free? This shattered person who was capable of shooting to death two people? What sort of mother was she going to be to her newborn daughter? But now she had finished exacting her revenge. Karin hoped that Vera would be able to put everything behind her and be happy in spite of it all, with her husband and child.
She had toyed with the idea of telling Knutas, but she realized that would be impossible. If she did, her police career would be over. Would she even be able to continue as a police officer, carrying this baggage? At the moment, she couldn’t answer that question. It was just one more secret she had to hide.
She lay down on the sand and closed her eyes, listening to the waves lapping against the shore. Thunder rumbled over the sea. The rain fell slowly, one drop after another striking her face.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
This story is entirely fictional. Any similarities between the characters in the novel and actual individuals are coincidental. Occasionally, I have taken artistic liberties to change things for the benefit of the book. This includes Swedish TV’s coverage of Gotland, which in the book has been moved to Stockholm. I have the utmost respect for SVT’s regional news programme
The settings used in the books are usually described as they actually exist in reality, although there are a few exceptions.
Any errors that may have slipped into the story are mine alone.
First and foremost, I would like to thank my husband, journalist Cenneth Niklasson, who is always ready to be my sounding board and offer me the greatest support.
Special thanks to:
Gosta Svensson, former detective superintendent with the Visby police
Ulf Asgard, psychiatrist
Magnus Frank, detective superintendent with the Visby police
Martin Csatlos, of the Forensic Medicine Laboratory in Solna
Johan Gardelius, crime technician, Visby police
Sonny Bjork, detective superintendent, technical division, county criminal police, Stockholm
Staffan Lindblom, harbour master, Cementa in Slite
Torsten Lindqvist, captain of the
Gotska Sandon Folklore Society
The head ranger, Gotska Sandon
I would also like to thank my dear author colleagues – thanks for being there!
Thanks also to my readers for their valuable opinions:
Lena Allerstam, journalist, Swedish TV
Lilian Andersson, editor at Bonnier Educational Books
Kerstin Jungstedt, consultant, Provins fem
Bosse Jungstedt, Surrea Design
My thanks to Albert Bonniers Forlag, and especially to my publisher Jonas Axelsson and editor Ulrika Akerlund for all their support, encouragement and work on my books. Thanks to my agents Bengt Nordin and Maria Enberg at Nordin Agency, and to my designer, John Eyre, for the great cover on the Swedish edition.
Last, but not least, I want to thank my wonderful children, Rebecka and Sebastian, for their understanding and many encouraging comments.
Alta, May 2007
Mari Jungstedt
www.jungstedtsgotland.se
www.marijungstedt.se
About the Author
Mari Jungstedt lives in Stockholm with her husband and two children. This is her fifth novel set on the island of Gotland. The previous four,
