“Do I?”
“They’re the mirror to your soul, you know.”
“Window,” said Becker. “The eyes are the window to the soul. I think that’s how it goes.”
“You know what I’m talking about, then,” Helen said. “I knew you would.”
“It’s not a theory I put much store in,” Becker said. “Soulful looks are pretty easy to fake.”
“But you’re not faking, are you? No. You see. I knew that. As soon as I opened my door and saw you standing there, I knew. I’m very good at that. I can take one look at someone and tell what they’re really like. It’s just a power I have.”
Becker restrained himself from asking her where her power was when she sized up Dyce. It seemed an unnecessary cruelty.
“What else do you see?” he asked. Becker wondered at the lack of information Hatcher had gotten out of Helen. She was primed and ready to talk. indeed he could see she was desperate to do so, the kind of woman who probably collared strangers in her need to unload her feelings. Hatcher would not have the skill or sense to play along with her and let her get there in her own time. She didn’t need a list of questions to get her going; all she needed was an ear and a stillness that could pass for compassion.
“Strength,” said Helen. “You’re strong, aren’t you, very strong, but sensitive, too. Women must just love you.”
Becker grinned boyishly.
“But you’re shy, too, aren’t you?” she continued. “I can see that, yes you are, you’re shy. Do you know how I know? Because I’m shy, too, although you wouldn’t think so to hear me rattling on sometimes.”
“Dyce was shy, too, wasn’t he?” Becker asked.
“Oh, my, yes. Shy-and private? My goodness. I never knew anything about him, really, not really. Only what I knew by my intuition, you see. He never told me anything.”
“That must have been very hard for you. You cared for him so much, but he just wouldn’t open up”
“Did I say I cared for him so much? We were friends.”
“I know you cared for him,” said Becker, smiling. “You’re not the kind of woman who would sleep with a man she didn’t truly care for.”
“Well, no, I’m not, I certainly am not, you’re right.”
“Although sometimes your emotions just get the best of you. I know what that’s like.”
“Do you?” Helen stopped pacing and sat next to Becker on the love seat. Her knee touched his thigh as she turned toward him. “I thought you would.”
“I’m not made of ice.” Becker looked her squarely in the eyes, holding her gaze. “Neither are you.”
Helen exhaled quickly, as if she’d been punched. She was melting. She hoped he couldn’t see it, but he was so perfect, so much the man she needed right now, someone strong, someone who could understand.
“Sometimes these things are too strong,” she said, casting her eyes down. “Sometimes they just overwhelm you.”
“And no one’s to blame for that,” said Becker.
“But I didn’t say I slept with Roger.”
“You didn’t say you didn’t,” said Becker.
She laughed and wagged a finger at him, allowing her knee to press firmly against his leg. She was being flirtatious, she knew that, perhaps even naughty, but sometimes a woman had to take a chance. He was so right for her.
“Oh, I have to watch you,” she said. “You’re the sneaky kind.” She laid her arm on the back of the sofa so that it nearly made contact with his back. She wondered if he noticed. Some men would notice immediately, and others, like Roger, would be oblivious. It was hard to tell with this one. He was so contained. But so cute-and she knew he liked her. The other agents had not seemed to like her; she didn’t know why. They had acted as if her relationship with Roger was something dirty, something she should be blamed for, for heaven’s sake. She certainly hadn’t told them anything they didn’t need to know.
“You’re a very attractive young woman,” Becker said.
She swatted his shoulder lightly, remonstrating with him for such a bold remark.
“You know that,” Becker said, tilting his head. “You probably hear it all the time.”
“You,” she said, pushing his shoulder with one finger this time. She left the finger there,
“It’s only natural that if a pretty woman and a healthy man get together…” He let it trail off, grinning at her. There was nothing lewd about the grin, she decided. He just liked to tease. She liked it, too.
Helen smiled back at him, then demurely looked away. She wondered if he could feel her finger on his shoulder.
“And Dyce was young and virile. Only natural.”
“You mustn’t judge every man by yourself,” she said.
“Oooo-oooh,” said Becker. “Something a little unnatural? Tell me.”
“I can’t tell you that. What are you thinking of?” But she wanted to tell him very much. She had wanted to tell someone ever since it happened, but she could hardly bare her soul to the people at work. She would never hear the last of it.
“Did he dress up?” Becker asked. He was chuckling, enjoying the idea. He wasn’t censorious at all; he could understand, even savor the oddness. It was kind of fun if you had some distance on it.
“Worse than that,” she said.
“Whips and chains? Boots?”
“You’ll never guess.”
“I’ll bet I can. I’ve heard of everything.”
“You haven’t heard of this one,” said Helen. “I don’t think this has ever been done before.”
“In the bathroom. In a tree. Hanging from the rafters.”
“From the rafters?”
“It’s been done,” he said. “You’d be surprised.”
“I’d certainly be surprised by that.”
“He bent over the sink and had you throw oranges at him.”
Helen laughed and put her hand on his thigh for a moment before removing it.
“People don’t do that,” she said.
“I swear to you. I’ll bet Roger didn’t come up with anything new. Fun, maybe, but not new.”
“I don’t know about fun,” she said.
“Well, fun for him, anyway.”
“Fun is not a word I’d use for Roger,” she said. “He didn’t seem to enjoy it so much as-oh, I can’t tell you.”
“Not fun exactly. I’ll bet it was more of a serious thing with him.”
“How did you know that?”
She leaned forward again as if amazed at his brilliance and touched his thigh once more. Helen did not know what was making her so bold, except that if he left now she didn’t think she would ever see him again.
“I didn’t know Roger, but from what I’ve heard, I’d have to guess it wasn’t as if he really liked sex for its own sake. More like it was a kind of ritual. Something like that.”
This time she really was amazed. It was as if he could see right into her mind. Could he see into her heart as well?
“That’s true,” she said. “I never thought of it quite that way, but that’s true, it was like a ritual. Or a ceremony.”
“I’ll bet he wore something special,” Becker said.
“Talcum powder,” she said, surprised at herself.
“Talcum powder?”
“And I mean that’s all.”
With a giggle she got to her feet and waggled her fingers in front of him. Becker took her hand and she led him to the bathroom.
“Come on, I’ll show you,” she said, clasping his palm tightly. When she described Dyce’s appearance, nude and covered in white powder, she clung to Becker’s hand the whole time, squeezing for emphasis and finally,
