“My beautiful, perfect Tommy.”
“I have to go.” Bobby said.
Dee acted as if she didn’t hear him. Bobby turned to Ash. “I have to go to the bathroom.” he said, and as he said it he realized he had to go so badly he didn’t think he could stand it.
“Well, of course!” Dee exclaimed, as if coming back to herself. With a sniff and a wipe of her hand, the tears were gone and her eyes were gleaming again.
“Why didn’t you say so?” She reached for his hand, but Bobby did not offer it. “Come on. I’ll take you.”
“I can go alone,” he said, once more horrified at being treated like a baby.
“Come on,” said Dee. Coaxing him, as if he were three years old. “Come on. I’ll take you.”
“I know where it is.”
Dee steered him toward the bathroom with a hand on his back.
“Sooo modest,” she said.
She held the door open for him, then followed him into the bathroom.
“Go ahead,” she said.
Bobby stood in front of the toilet, his hands still covering himself.
“I can’t,” he said. “You have to leave.”
Dee squatted in front of him so that her face was on a level with his.
“Now you listen to me, young man. You see how we live. We don’t have room enough for this kind of false modesty. It’s not as if you have to perform in front of strangers. It’s only me, you know. Now when I tell you to do a thing, I expect you to do it, and I expect you to do it right then, not an hour later when you decide. Is that clear?”
Bobby looked at her, speechless. He had to go so badly.
“And I won’t have you shutting me out of your life, either,” Dee continued. “You’re not that old yet. Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. Now go ahead and do your business.”
Bobby could see the man watching him from the other room. The woman wouldn’t leave. He realized for the first time something of what his life was going to be like now… But he had to go so much.
For the first time since he had been grabbed in the car, he began to cry.
Bobby sat on one of the two chairs in the room, watching television. The big man sat on the floor with his back to the door, alternating his attention between Bobby and the flickering screen. The windows were closed. There was no way out of the room except right through Ash, and Bobby could not think how to move him. He had been sitting in front of the door for hours, watching closely, even joining in as the woman had fluttered around Bobby, but not once had he left his position.
At intervals Ash would smile at something and point his finger toward the action on the screen, glancing at Bobby to see if he was appreciating it, too. Bobby knew that the man was trying to be friendly. There was a calm and gentle quality to him, despite his size and appearance, that led Bobby to think he was more to be trusted than the woman, Dec. She seemed to love him, but she was too familiar, she pushed too hard.’ She might be a nice lady, Bobby thought, if only she would relax a little bit. And listen to him. She never seemed to actually hear what he said; she acted as if she were always responding to a conversation he could not hear. Bobby was used to that quality in adults, of course. Many of them did it, but few with the ardor or intensity that Dee displayed. It had occurred to him that she might be insane, but the idea was too frightening to persist with. It was bad enough to be kidnapped, but as long as his kidnappers were reasonable people, he felt that it would be all right. It was clear they didn’t want to hurt him. Why should they? If he could just figure out what it was they did want, he would give it to them… But if they were insane, how could he ever figure them out? It was too horrible to contemplate. Bobby put the thought from his mind.
Bobby’s eyes slipped closed and his head fell toward his chest. He bounded upright again immediately, blinking to regain control of his treasonous senses. From the bathroom he could hear the sounds of the woman puttering around, brushing her teeth, combing her hair, screwing and unscrewing the lids of creams and lotions. He had seen his mother go through the process many times and there was a certain comfort to knowing Dee was doing the same, familiar thing.
She hummed a tune to herself and as Bobby tried to remember what the song was, his eyes drooped and closed again.
And then Dee was in the room and she didn’t look the least bit like his mother. A white nightgown was scooped low in front and trimmed with lace that only partly concealed the bulge of her breasts. Her legs were bare from the mid-thigh down, and as she stood silhouetted against the backlighting of the bathroom Bobby could detect the outline of her body through the thin muslin.
Dee twirled once, holding her hands over her head like a ballerina.
“Well?” she demanded. “How do I look?”
“You look beautiful. Dee,” Ash said in a voice so thick with desire that Bobby turned to look at him.
“Thank you, thank you.” she said. She executed a brief curtsy, then turned her attention to Bobby. “Well?”
Bobby stared at her, fighting the tears that threatened him again. He felt his throat beginning to squeeze shut.
“Do I look all right?” she demanded.
“You look beautiful. Dee.” Ash said again, this time for Bobby’s benefit. He tried to use his eyes to tell the boy how to respond, but Bobby wasn’t looking at him.
“You shush.” she said to Ash. ‘Tommy?… Don’t you have anything to say to me. Tommy?”
“I’m Bobby.” he said, forcing the words past an uncooperative tongue. He clutched the good luck medal around his neck and squeezed it tightly.
A cloud of anger crossed Dee’s face but quickly faded into disappointment. She pinched the nightgown in both hands and held it out wide from her body. It rode up even higher on her thighs.
“I went to a lot of trouble, you know.” she said. “I wouldn’t do this for just anybody. I wanted our first night together to be special.”
“He thinks you look beautiful, don’t you. Tommy?” Ash said.
“I’m talking to Tommy,” Dee said.
“Bobby,” said the boy, his voice so low he was barely audible.
“What? What did you say?”
Bobby looked frantically around the room, hoping desperately that he had missed what he sought before.
Dee stood right in front of him now, her body close to the chair. Bobby could see through the nightgown to the dark mounds of her breasts, the darker shape below. He hadn’t allowed himself to look at these parts of his mother for years.
“What do you have to say to me after all the trouble I’ve gone to for you?” Dee asked.
Bobby’s anxiety burst forth in an uncontrollable gasp. “Where am I going to sleep? There’s only one bed!”
He began to cry, hating himself for it but unable to stop. Dee chuckled indulgently and pulled him to his feet so that he stood on the chair. His head was level with hers when she pulled his naked body into an embrace. He could feel her breasts pressing against his bare chest.
“You silly goose,” she said. “Where do you think you’re going to sleep? You’re going to sleep in the bed. Is that what’s bothering you, is that what’s bothering my little boy? Why didn’t you say so? You can always talk to me, you know. You can always, always, always say anything at all to me. And do you know why?”
She released him from the embrace but kept her hands on his shoulders and she leaned her face in close to his.
“Do you know why you can say anything you want to me?” Bobby shook his head to indicate he did not know.
“Because I love you. Tommy. That’s why.” She hugged him again, this time so hard it took his breath away. “Oooooh, I love you sooo much!”
Her whole body was pressed into his. Bobby tried to slip his hands over his groin so she wouldn’t know that he was growing hard, but he couldn’t do it without touching her. He knew that if they saw he was stiff they would
