in his own bed. He knew it wasn’t so even as he ardently wished for it.
It could only be Dee leaning in close to him, studying him the way she did with that intense look of hers as if she was trying to memorize every detail of his face and body. Sometimes the look would take on tones of puzzlement as if she were trying to square his appearance with the image she had stored in her mind, but she would always come out of it, the wrinkle of skin between her eyebrows relaxing as she reconciled what she saw with what she wanted to see.
From the direction of the door, Bobby heard Ash repositioning himself, then the sibilant hush of Dee telling him to be quiet.
“Don’t wake him,” she whispered. “He’s asleep.”
Ash made a noise in his throat, perhaps laughter. Then Bobby heard sudden sounds of movement from both of them, the door protesting in its frame as Ash pushed off of it, the sound of tiptoed steps, and just as quickly all was silent. Bobby held very still, listening, straining to hear them, but all sounds seemed to have been swallowed up. Had they gone? It seemed inconceivable that they would have left him alone at last, and yet… nothing, he could hear nothing at all.
He tried to open his eyes just a slit, feeling the eyelids quiver as he eased them apart. He could make out only the sheet under his cheek, the carpet between the bed and the wall where his face was pointed. Pausing, not daring to hope, Bobby let his eyes open farther. He saw nothing before him but the motel wall, the sunlight streaming through the slats of the Venetian blinds to make a pattern of lines on the floor. Ash was not by the door. Dee was not hovering over him.
He lifted his head, almost not daring to move. The room was empty, no sounds came from the bathroom, whose door was open. Bobby sat upright in the bed, then slid his feet to the floor, still not daring to believe. He looked around the room again, wild-eyed.
“Dee?” he whispered. “Ash?”
There came a low, rumbling sound, like the growl of an animal, and Bobby held his breath. It came again, a growl of something large and fierce and close and then Dee popped up from behind the bed, laughing, her hands over her head in a parody of a ravening beast.
“Grrrarrr!” she roared, still laughing. She swept upon Bobby, embraced him, lifted him.
“We fooled you! We fooled you, didn’t we? Admit it, admit it! We fooled him, Ash!”
She bundled him in her arms and buried her face in his neck, kissing and growling. Ash sat up from the floor behind the bed, grinning proudly.
“We fooled you,” Ash declared.
“Oh, look at him. You weren’t really scared, were you? Were you scared. Tommy?”
Bobby pulled away from her, angry and embarrassed.
“We didn’t mean to really scare you.”
Dee hugged him again, but he put his hands against her chest and pushed her away.
“Don’t,” she said.
Bobby ignored the warning in her tone and struggled against her grip.
“Don’t pull away from me,” she said.
Bobby tried to yank his arms free, but she held him firmly in her grip.
“Let go!” he cried.
He kicked at her with his naked feet. His toes barely touched her shin.
“No!” Ash called, aghast.
Bobby didn’t see the blow coming and he was shocked as much by its unexpectedness as by its force. It had to have come from Dee, but when he looked at her with eyes filling with tears, both of her hands still gripped his arms.
“Don’t ever pull away from me,” she hissed. She lowered her face to his, her fingers squeezed his arms so tightly they hurt, but it was her look that frightened Bobby most. Something had happened behind her eyes, something that Bobby could see but not identify. It looked as if someone other than Dee was behind her eyes now. Someone or some thing, crouching behind the deep blue, glaring out at Bobby. Hating him.
“Never, never,” she said, her voice still a hiss.
“Never,” Ash said. He was on his feet now, shaking his head in warning to Bobby.
“I don’t like it,” Dee said.
Bobby sniffed. His nose was running, his eyes were tearing, and he was aware of a ringing in his ears, but he was still too stunned to cry.
“Do you understand?” Dee asked.
“Yes,” said Ash, pumping his head up and down, urging Bobby to agree. “Yes.”
“Do you?”
Bobby nodded. “Uh-huh.”
“Imagine how it makes me feel, when you pull away,” Dee said. Bobby noticed that the thing behind her eyes had slithered away and she was Dee again, a little wound up, a little too enthusiastic, but still a woman, still the same person he knew.
Bobby nodded in agreement once more.
“After all I do for you,” she said. “When I love you so much and you pull away-it disappoints me.”
She released his arms and Bobby saw how her grip had left white marks that only slowly became pink again.
“Okay, case closed,” she said, brightening once more. “No harm done, right. Ash?”
“No harm,” said Ash.
“All right. Tommy? All done?” She smiled broadly. “I know you’re sorry. I know you didn’t mean to do it, but you must try very hard not to disappoint me. And I’ll try very hard not to disappoint you. Okay, sweetheart?”
She smiled at him, awaiting a response.
“Yes,” said Bobby.
Her smile broadened even further. “You make me so happy!” she said.
She clasped him in her arms again. Her clothing was stiff with starch and scraped against his naked skin.
“Who do you love?” she asked.
“I love you. Dee,” he said.
“I know you do, sweetheart. Just try not to let me down. It makes me feel so bad.”
And then she was away from him, into the whirl of activity that always seemed to accompany, her. She swept into the bathroom, out again to her night table, gathering her things, perfecting her look. When she went out the door it was as if a wind had swept through the room and now was gone. Through the open door Bobby had a glimpse of the outdoors: a car parked in front of their room, a patch of grass that looked unnaturally green, a low hedge, a sampling of sky that hinted of rain. Then the door was closed and Ash was in front of it again.
“Don’t disappoint her,” Ash said.
“Okay,” Bobby said, dismissing it.
“No,” Ash said, shaking his head, trying to convey to Bobby the seriousness of what he said. “You mustn’t. You mustn’t.”
“Can I wear some clothes today?” Bobby asked.
Ash waggled his head in frustration. They never believed him when he tried to warn them. He was never able to make them understand ahead of time. Only Dee could make them understand, and then it was too late.
“No clothes yet,” Ash said. “But listen, listen. Don’t make her mad.”
“I didn’t do anything,” Bobby said. “She just got mad on her own. It wasn’t my fault.”
“No,” Ash said. “No.” But it was no use. After the first day or two they were never really afraid of him anymore. No matter what he did they seemed to understand that he was not a threat. They obeyed him because they recognized he could force them to do whatever he wanted, but they didn’t take him seriously. They knew how stupid he was, Ash realized, and as a result they never really credited what he tried to tell them. He knew he was stupid, but he also knew that he understood things they would never believe until it no longer mattered if they believed them or not.
“Maybe tomorrow you’ll get clothes,” he said.
