She stood silent for a while as she considered his words. Her shoulders slumped. The point of the blade lowered. The atmosphere in the room changed subtly. “You have a deal,” she said and appeared to mean it.
Don’t trust her, whispered voices. Don’t trust anyone. Right at that moment, Rik didn’t. He was starting to wonder whether he could even trust himself.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“She said there were others who had come through the Gate?” said Asea. Rik nodded and strode to the window. Across the darkened street, he saw the lights of the houses opposite, where life seemed normal. He tried to drown out the voices in his head. The night had taken on an unreal air. He could not quite bring himself to believe that he had been allowed to leave the Sardontine mansion unharmed. All the way back, in the coach, he had expected an ambush that never came.
“She did.”
“You are sure? What exactly did she say?”
Rik repeated it the best he could remember. Asea studied him carefully. He had told her almost everything that had occurred as it had occurred. The only thing he neglected to mention was that Tamara had tried to get him to agree to Asea’s assassination several times before.
“You think she was telling the truth?” Rik asked. “If so, why mention it now?”
“Perhaps you startled her into revealing something she did not want to reveal.”
“That seems a little unlikely. Tamara is very self-possessed.”
“I am not sure you understand how frightening you have become since you escaped the clutches of the Sea Devils. She could easily be convinced you are a rogue Thanatomancer. The signs are there for those who know how to look for such things, and I am sure she does.”
“Do you really think she has turned against her father though?”
“This might be one of his schemes to try and win you over to his side,” said Asea. “I am sure he knows that you would not trust him, but you might trust Tamara, particularly if you thought he was not standing behind her.”
“That thought had crossed my mind as well.”
“Keep it there. And keep thinking that way. You will live longer.”
“How do you know so much about thanatomancy?”
She sighed and shook her head, and he thought for a moment that she was not going to answer his question. “Because the Princes made the basic principles known to the wizards of Al’Terra. They wanted us to join them, to be tempted, to fall into their ways. Many did.”
“Malkior claimed that magic was failing on Al’Terra and Terrarch immortality with it. Is that true?”
“He was apparently very truthful with you, Rik. That is exactly the case.”
“Were you never tempted?”
“Of course, I was tempted, Rik. I knew even then that one day I would die. Even if the immortality spells were not failing.”
“How could you know that?”
“Simple mathematics, Rik. Accidents happen. People are assassinated. Live long enough and it is a certainty that the same thing will happen to you. It does not matter how good your magical protection is, sooner or later, it will fail, and death will come.”
“You do not refuse thanatomancy because you thought your soul would be in peril?”
“I am not even sure we have souls in the sense that the priests mean.”
“Why turn the Princes of Shadow down then? They must have offered more hope of longevity than what was available to you.”
“They did not. They offered a path to ruin and madness, a certain path. When you feed on the life force of others, you take traces of those others into you. It’s just the same as if you take a small dose of certain poisons every day — enough will build up in your body to kill you. Eventually thanatomancy drives you mad, if you keep at it long enough. You are not yourself anymore, only one personality among many.”
“Will that happen to me?”
“I don’t know. You are already different in so many ways it’s hard to tell. You are the first to devour a Quan. Apparently their feeding process was different from Malkior’s. You already retain far more memories than a Thanatomancer normally would. If you will take my advice you will not repeat the process.”
“I am not planning on doing so.”
“Many of my colleagues on Al’Terra never planned on doing so. They did it anyway.”
“I don’t understand why, if they knew they would go mad.”
“Because many of them did not possess all the facts. Many of them had no real understanding of what they were doing. And because many of them simply did not care. Wizards always believe they are special, Rik. What happens to others will not happen to them.”
Don’t trust her, the voices whispered. She is not telling you the whole truth. He hushed them. He still had other questions. “Tamara spotted what has happened to me. You have too. What if the Inquisition come for me?”
“It would be best if that did not happen. It would be best if you kept your powers secret. It would be best if you avoided the Servants of the Holy Flame until the things within you are less…visible.”
“I will do that.”
“Good. I need you here now, Rik, and I need you sane.”
“Is there any particular reason for that?”
“You are sensitive to Shadowgates.”
He understood her thoughts at once. “Malkior is coming here.”
“Yes. He has to. He has to kill you and he has to kill me. We know too much about him now.”
“What difference does that make? He is a High Lord of the Dark Empire. The Inquisition is not going to come banging on his door.”
“It might if we win this war. And he knows that sooner or later I am going to have to kill him. He knows that you will try too and the longer you live, the more dangerous you become.”
“You are flattering me.”
“There is a thing you should know about human wizards, and I suspect about half-breed ones too, Rik. They come into their power very young compared to Terrarchs. You have already made more progress in the past few months than most Terrarch wizards would in years, and you are much, much stronger than any Terrarch would be at your age.”
He turned this information over in his mind. The voices whispered that this was true. The Quan had certainly never met a human so strong. The fact that he was still alive proved this. “To tell the truth, Rik, you are already far and away the strongest mortal sorcerer I have ever met, and you will only become stronger if you are given time.”
He kept silent, and as he hoped she kept speaking to fill the silence. “I don’t know whether it’s because of your Shadowblood heritage or some other factor but you are different from all the other mortal mages I have encountered.”
“You think I can kill Malkior?”
“No, Rik, but I think that between us we can. I have a score to settle with him. Queen Amarielle was my friend and I was supposed to protect her. He killed her. He has killed an awful lot of people, and will kill many more if he is allowed to. The time has come for him to be stopped.”
“In this we are in agreement, but how will we find him?”
“He will come to us, Rik. If for no other reason than he has to take you back to the Quan to prove that he was not responsible for your escape.”
“I would die before I let that happen.”
“If the situation should arise that will probably be your best choice. We have other problems as well.”
“That’s good — we did not have enough already.”
