also drawn there.’ ”
They stood in silence for a few seconds. Anna-Maria watched as the wind filled their footprints on the porch with snow.
“Shall we go in, then?” she said.
Sven-Erik opened the door and they went into the dark stairwell. Anna-Maria switched on the light. A small plaque on the right showed that Backstrom lived on the next floor. They went up the stairs. They had both been to these apartments on many occasions in the past, when the neighbors had phoned to complain about some disturbance. There was the same smell as there always was in these places. Piss under the stairs. The acrid smell of cleaning fluid. Concrete.
They rang the bell, but no one answered. Listened at the door, but the only sound was music from the apartment opposite. There had been no light in the window. Anna-Maria opened the letter box and tried to look in. The flat was in darkness.
“We’ll have to come back,” she said.
And evening came and morning came, the sixth day
It is twenty past four in the morning. Rebecka is sitting at the small kitchen table in the cabin in Jiekajarvi. She looks toward the window and looks straight into her own great big eyes. Anybody could be standing right outside and looking in at her, and she wouldn’t be able to see them. That person would suddenly press his face against the glass and the image of his face would melt into the reflection of her own.
Stop it, she says to herself. There’s nothing out there. Who’d go out in the dark in a storm like this?
The fire is crackling in the stove and the draught in the chimney makes a long, lonely sound that is accompanied by the howling wind outside and the soft hissing of the kerosene gas lamp. She gets up and pushes in two more logs. When there’s a storm like this it’s important to keep the fire going. Otherwise the cabin will be chilled through by tomorrow morning.
The strong wind finds its way through gaps in the walls and between the door frame and the old ocher yellow mirrored door. Once upon a time, before Rebecka was born, it had been the door of the pigsty. Her grandmother had told her that. And before that it had been somewhere else. It is much too beautiful and too solid a door to have been made for the pigsty. Presumably it used to be in a house somewhere that had been pulled down. And somebody had decided to find a home for the door.
On the floor there are several layers of Grandmother’s rag rugs. They insulate the house and keep the cold out. The snow that has been blown up against the walls insulates too. And the north-facing wall has a little extra protection from the stack of wood that has been covered with a tarpaulin to keep the snow off.
Next to the stove is the enamel water bucket with the ladle made of stainless steel, and a big basket of wood. Right beside it are Sara and Lova’s painted cat stones on top of a pile of old magazines. Although of course Lova’s stone represents a dog. It is curled up with its muzzle between its paws, gazing at Rebecka all the time. Just to be on the safe side Lova has written “Virku” on its painted black back. Both the girls are fast asleep in the same bed now, their fingers spattered with paint and a double layer of blankets right up to their ears. Before they went to bed all three of them worked together, rolling up the mattresses to press all the cold air out of them. Sara is sleeping with her mouth open, and Lova is curled up in the curve of her big sister’s arm. Their cheeks are rosy. Rebecka takes off one blanket and puts it up on the shelf.
It’s not my job to protect them, she tells herself. After tomorrow there will be nothing more I can do for them.
Anna-Maria sits up in bed with the bedside lamp lit. Robert is sleeping beside her. She has two pillows behind her back, and is leaning against the headboard. On her knee she has Kristina Strandgard’s album of newspaper cuttings and pictures of Viktor Strandgard. The child moves in her stomach. She can feel a foot pressing against her.
“Hello, pest,” she says, rubbing the hard lump under her skin that is the foot. “You shouldn’t kick your old mum.”
She looks at a picture of Viktor Strandgard sitting on the steps in front of the Crystal Church in the middle of winter. He is wearing an indescribably ugly green crocheted hat. His long hair is lying over his left shoulder. He is holding his book up toward the camera,
Did he do something to Sanna’s children? wonders Anna-Maria. He’s just a boy.
She is dreading tomorrow and the interview with Sanna Strandgard’s daughters.
At least you’re going to have a nice daddy, she tells the child in her belly.
All of a sudden she is deeply moved. Thinks of that small life. Capable of survival, perfect, with ten fingers and ten toes and a personality all its own. Why does she always get so tearful and over-the-top? Can’t even watch a Disney film without howling at the really sad part just before everything turns out all right in the end. Is it really fourteen years since Marcus was lying in her stomach? And Jenny and Petter, they’re so big too. Life goes so incredibly quickly. She is filled with a deep sense of gratitude.
I really haven’t got anything to complain about, she thinks, turning to someone out there in the universe. A wonderful family and a good life. I’ve already had more than anyone has a right to ask for.
“Thank you,” she says out loud.
Robert changes position, turns onto his side, wraps himself in his blanket so that he looks like a stuffed cabbage roll.
“You’re welcome,” he answers in his sleep.
Saturday, February 22
Rebecka pours coffee from the thermos flask and puts it down on the kitchen table.
What if Viktor did something to Sanna’s girls, she thinks. Could Sanna have been so furious that she killed him? Maybe she went looking for him to confront him, and…
And what? she interrupts herself. And she lost the plot and whipped out a hunting knife from nowhere and stabbed him to death? And smashed him over the head as well, with something heavy she just happened to have in her pocket?
No, it didn’t make sense.
And who wrote that postcard to Viktor that was in his Bible? “What we have done is not wrong in the eyes of God.”
She gets the tins of paint the girls have been using and spreads an old newspaper out on the table. Then she paints a picture of Sanna. It looks more like the woman who lived in the gingerbread house than anything else, with long, curly hair. Underneath Sanna, she writes “Sara” and “Lova.” She draws Viktor beside them. She paints a halo around his head; it has slipped slightly. Then she joins the girls’ names to Viktor with a line. She draws a line between Viktor and Sanna as well.
But that relationship was broken, she thinks, and scribbles out the lines linking Viktor to Sanna and the girls.
She leans back in her chair and allows her gaze to range over the sparse furniture, the hand-carved green beds, the kitchen table with its four odd chairs, the sink with the red plastic bowl and the little stool that just fits into the corner by the door.
Once upon a time, when the cabin was used on hunting trips, Uncle Affe used to stand his rifle on the stool, leaning against the wall. She remembers her grandfather’s frown of displeasure. Her grandfather himself always placed his gun carefully in its case and pushed it under the bed.
Nowadays the axe for chopping wood stands on the stool, and the handsaw hangs above it on a hook.
