'Marge, I was calling McNeil. I swear to Christ. I swear on Ginny's life.' Marge glared at him for a long time. Tears ran down her cheeks but she made no sound of weeping.

'I think you're a complete shit,' she said at last, as she turned and walked back to the bedroom.

Tee stood in the kitchen several moments longer. I agree with her, he thought, over and over. I agree with her.

23

Luv parked his car in the Stop and Shop lot and walked from the supermarket to a Mobile station a few hundred yards away. He had called Denise and told her that his car had broken down and asked her to pick him up at the service station. It was a large, busy station with a ministore inside and two telephones in the lot. Luv's presence there for a few minutes should occasion no notice, but he was still uneasy about the exposure. It wasn't likely that anyone would recognize him there; he was in Ridgefield, a good distance from his home, but accidents did happen. He was even less sanguine about being seen riding with Denise in her car-he had come to rely on the tinted glass of the Caprice, it had been like moving about invisibly-but using his other car was out of the question. He would ride with Denise to and from their motel, have her return him to the station, then walk back to the supermarket to reclaim his car so that Denise did not see it. The entire episode would be a compromise, but Luv was confident that he would be safe. He had eluded Becker, he could certainly avoid detection by some random passerby. It would be necessary to acquire another Luvmobile in the future, but for right now, he would improvise. Denise arrived full of solicitude. 'You've been having such terrible luck,' she said. 'What do they say is wrong with the car?'

'They think it's the timer belt,' he said. 'They said it would be ready by the time I got back.'

'And just after you had it fixed,' she said.

'Um,' said Luv, trying to remember what he had told her about his absence the last time.

'I was so worried about you that night,' she said. 'I had a premonition-now don't laugh, I can sense these things sometimes. I had a clear feeling, very strong, even before you didn't show up, that something was wrong. I even told my daughter before I left the house that I had this funny feeling about the evening.'

'You were right.'

'And then when you didn't show up, the feeling got stronger and stronger. I knew someone was hurt.'

'You knew that specifically?'

'I'm very sensitive in that way. I'm not always right, but usually I'm very accurate. But here's the funny thingI didn't think that it was you who was hurt. I knew you were involved in some kind of incident, or accident, but I wasn't really worried that you were hurt.' Luv watched the oncoming traffic, studying faces to see if he recognized any. There were many more people who knew him than he would know personally, of course, but it was only the ones he could identify who might take it upon themselves to tell his wife where they had seen him. What he feared more than anything else was the flicker of recognition in someone else's eye.

'And then you told me that you'd hit the deer and of course I understood immediately,' Denise said.

'I felt I had to stay with it,' Luv said. 'I couldn't just leave it there. I knew you'd be concerned, but I was certain you would understand.'

'Of course, of course. You did what you had to do. I admire you for it.':,Well…' 'Most people would just keep driving.'

'I couldn't bear the thought that it was suffering,' said Luv. 'I hate to think of anything suffering.'

'You're so good, you're such a good man.'

Luv touched her arm.

'Isn't it funny that I knew it had something to do with death?' she asked.

'You're an amazing woman,' he said. As casually as he could, Luv twisted around to check out the cars behind him. He did not think he was being followed, it was simply old habit.

'I tried to call you,' said Denise.

'What?' He was suddenly sharply alert, trying to hide his concern.

'I know I shouldn't have, but I was worried. I wouldn't have said anything, don't worry. If your wife answered, I was just going to hang up right away. If you answered, I thought I would just whisper that I loved you and then hang up. I just wanted to hear your voice to know that you were all right. That would have been okay, wouldn't it?'

'I don't think it's a good idea to call me,' he said carefully. 'My wife, she's so- It would take so little to make such trouble. She would take it out on the kids, of course. The children would suffer. Even if she just suspected. She's so paranoid. Even a wrong number could set her off, anything at all could set her off. I couldn't bear it if she turned on the children again. It would be so dangerous, for everybody.'

'I wouldn't have actually said anything, I just miss you so much.'

'I know, I know,' he said sympathetically. 'I miss you too.' And he did, in his own way. He missed them all when he was not with them-in brief, sporadic burst seven though he might yearn to be away from them when they were in his presence.

'Sometimes I just say your name aloud, I miss you so much.' She turned away from him shyly. He stroked the back of her hand where it rested on the steering wheel, longing for the sight of the motel. Sex would be particularly good tonight, he knew, because it was going to be her last time and he would take especially long. She had reached the dangerous point, she was too much in love with him, too needy, too demanding. She no longer considered his company an adventure, it was fast becoming a right. He could not have women trying to call him, even if there was no chance of her ever getting his phone number-she didn't even know his right name. The effort alone was a signal to end it. He would fuck her tonight like she'd never been fucked in her life, and then… who knew what then? It was partly up to his demon but, as he had learned in the woods with the black man, it was now also partly up to him.

'Why do you have an unlisted phone?' Denise asked, turning into the motel parking lot. 'I couldn't find you in any town around here.'

'We had crank calls,' he said. When she turned off the ignition he lifted her hand to his face and kissed her palm, then licked slowly between her fingers. It was going to be a wonderful night, the uncertainty about the ending was so exciting.

The Cap'n had been at his very best. He had made love to her as worshipfully as if she were a goddess fallen to ground and this were to be her last act among mortals before returning to heaven, a feast of earthly, human delights that must last her an eternity, and he had allowed himself to come only when Denise had half whimpered, half laughed for mercy: 'No more. God, no more.' Then he allowed her to rest for a moment before reaching for ecstasy himself, reaching it with her crying out 'Yes, yes!' while incredibly soaring to orgasm one final time herself.

They lay in the dark, Denise maundering on about something, Luv paying only enough attention to be alert for danger, until he felt the demon begin to claw to the surface inside him. He put his hand on her hip, lowered his mouth to her breast.

'You are incredible,' she said, in awe. 'I really don't think I can.'

'There's something I want you to do for me,' Luv said. He rolled her onto her stomach. 'I need to do it this way. It may seem a little strange, but I want you to trust me. You do trust me, don't you?'

'Of course,' she said. 'I'll do anything you want.'

'I'm going to put my hand on your neck,' he said, putting his fingers in the right spot. 'And I'm going to slowly squeeze while I make love to you.' He slipped into her from behind and smiled when he heard her gasp with pleasure.

Thrusting into her, he began the slow pressure on her neck, then stopped abruptly, his erection withering. 'What's wrong?' Denise asked.

'Nothing,' Luv said, pulling away from her.

'What is it? You can do it. I trust you.'

'I didn't want to hurt you,' said Luv.

'You wouldn't hurt me, you would never hurt me, I know that,' she said, rubbing his chest.

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