Punishment aka What Is Mine

and black with laces far up the lower leg. A pair of coarse woollen socks stuck up over the top.

It was the night of May 19 and a mild southwesterly wind had brought warmer temperatures of around 57 degrees with it. It was twenty to twelve. The man stood in the cover of a gooseberry bush and two half-grown birch trees. Then he pulled off one of his gloves. Slowly he pushed his right hand down into his wide, camouflage pants. He tried to keep his eyes fixed on a window on the ground floor, where the curtains were drawn, which they weren’t supposed to be. He wanted to see the green teddy bear. The man didn’t have time to get annoyed about it; with a groan he went loose at the hips. He pulled his hand out of his pants. He stood completely still for a couple of minutes. His ears were buzzing and he had to close his eyes, even though he was scared. Then he put his glove back on, climbed back over the fence, and walked off down the short road, without looking back.

SIXTEEN

It was already late when Johanne got up on Saturday, May 20. At least for Kristiane. The child woke up at the crack of dawn, weekdays and weekends alike. Though the six-year-old obviously liked being on her own first thing in the morning, she had no concept of how to avoid waking her mother. Johanne’s alarm clock was a rhythmical dam-di-rum-ram from the living room. But Kristiane wanted nothing to do with her. From six o’clock until eight, she was incommunicado. When Johanne went back to work again, once Kristiane’s illness was no longer life-threatening, it had been a complete nightmare getting the girl ready for day care every morning. In the end, she gave up. Kristiane just had to be left to her own devices for those two hours. The university was a flexible employer. And what’s more, when she had applied to teach only every second semester, this favor had been granted until Kristiane was ten. Her friends envied her-enjoy it while you can, was their advice; you can read the papers in peace and wake up properly before starting your day. The problem was that Kristiane had to be watched. Who knew what she might get up to? Johanne knew that Isak was more laid-back. She had found him fast asleep on a couple of occasions, with Kristiane pottering about on her own.

And now she had done exactly the same.

She looked over at her watch, confused. Quarter to nine. She threw back the duvet.

“Mommy,” Kristiane said cheerfully. “Mommy’s getting up for her Kristiane.”

The girl was standing in the doorway to the living room, already dressed, albeit in a ghastly pink sweater she’d been given by her grandmother and a pair of green velvet pants, with a tartan skirt on top. Her hair was done up in five braids. But she did have clothes on, so Johanne tried to smile.

“Well done, you’ve gotten dressed all by yourself,” she said sleepily. “Mommy must have slept in.”

“Slept in kept in.”

Kristiane came closer and then crept up into her mother’s lap. She laid her cheek on her breast and started to suck her thumb. Johanne gently stroked her daughter’s back with her right hand, up and down, up and down. When they sat like this, these moments of intimacy that were impossible to force or predict, Johanne could hardly breathe. She felt her daughter’s warmth through the pink sweater, drank in the sweet smell of her hair, her breath, her skin. It was all she could do not to crush her.

“My little Kristiane,” she whispered into the braids.

The telephone rang. Kristiane pulled back, slipped down from her mother’s lap, and padded out of the room.

“Hello?”

“Did I wake you?”

“Of course you didn’t wake me, Mother. I’ve got Kristiane here this week.”

Johanne tried to grab her robe. The telephone cord wasn’t long enough. She wrapped the duvet around her shoulders instead. There was a draft from the windows.

“Your father is worried.”

Johanne wanted to snap: You are the one who’s worried. She checked herself with a resigned sigh and tried to sound cheerful.

“Oh? Worried about me? There’s no need for that.”

“What about your behavior the other day? On TV no less… In fact, he even lies awake at night and wonders… Is everything alright, dear?”

“Let me talk to Dad.”

“Your father? He… he’s busy at the moment. But listen to me, dear. We thought that maybe a short break would do you good. You’ve had a lot going on recently, what with Kristiane and work and… Do you want to come with us to the cottage today? I’m sure you can get time off on Monday and maybe even Tuesday too. You and your father could go fishing and we could go for some lovely walks… And I’ve already spoken to Isak and he’s happy to have Kristiane from today…”

“You’ve spoken to Isak?”

It was great that she and Isak had a good relationship when it came to Kristiane. And she realized that everyone, not least their daughter, benefited from the fact that Isak also got along well with his ex-in-laws. But there were limits. She had a suspicion that he dropped by to see them every week, with or without Kristiane.

“Yes, gosh! He’s thinking about buying a new yacht, did you know? Not just a racing boat this time; he said he was getting a bit bored of… well, of course, it’s got something to do with Kristiane, as well. She just loves being on the water, and those fast sailing boats are not particularly suitable for children. He was here yesterday and we talked about you, you know, about how worrie…”

“Mom!”

“What, dear?”

“There’s no need to be worried. I am absolutely fine. And anyway, I’m going…”

If she told her mother that she was going to the States, she would get no peace at all, just endless advice on travel routes and precautions. Her mother would end up packing her suitcase for her.

“Mom, I’m a bit busy right now. I’m afraid I haven’t got time to come to the cottage, but thanks anyway. Give my love to Dad.”

“But Johanne, could you not at least come over and see us tonight? I could make something nice to eat and then you and your father could play…”

“I thought you were going to the cottage.”

“Only if you wanted to come with us, dear.”

“Bye, Mom.”

She made sure that she put the receiver down calmly and carefully. Her mother often accused her of hanging up. She was right, but it was better if it wasn’t slammed down.

Taking a shower helped. Kristiane sat on the toilet seat and talked to Sulamit, a fire engine with a face and eyes that blinked. Sulamit was nearly as old as Kristiane and had lost a ladder and three wheels. No one apart from Kristiane knew how it got its name.

“Sulamit has saved a horse and an elephant today. Good Sulamit.”

Johanne brushed her wet hair and tried to wipe the steam off the mirror.

“What happened to the horse and the elephant?” she asked.

“Sulamit and dynamit. Elephant and pelephant.”

Johanne went back to the bedroom and pulled on a pair of jeans and a red fleece. Thankfully she had done all the shopping for the weekend yesterday, before collecting Kristiane from day care. They could go for a long walk. Kristiane needed to be out for a few hours if she was going to be quiet in the evening. The weather looked good; she pulled back the bedroom curtains and squinted at the day outside.

The doorbell rang.

“Damn it, Mom!”

“Damn it,” repeated Kristiane seriously.

Johanne stamped out into the hall and pulled open the front door.

“Morning,” said Adam Stubo.

“Hi…”