listening station and his tune crackled and sounded tinny on the cheap car speakers. The moment of silence that followed her question told Lydia that she’d said the wrong thing.
“Better than ever, if you ask her,” he said with a small laugh. “She left me about a year ago.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, looking at him. He tapped his finger on the steering wheel and she watched his jaw work. Instead of letting it drop, she asked, “What happened?”
She’d only met Rose a couple of times, once at a Christmas party the firm threw and once when the four of them had dinner one night at Burrito Loco on West Fourth Street more than two years ago. She wouldn’t have said that Ford and Rose looked overly happy together, but they had seemed like
“What happened? I don’t know… what happens to people? I was an asshole and she put up with it for thirty years. Then she stopped wanting to put up with it. Said if she couldn’t be the center of my attention, then at least she could be the center of her own.”
They were both quiet for a second. Lydia thought he would go silent, but he went on as though he were glad for the release.
“She said when the kids were home it wasn’t so bad. She felt needed, loved. She was busy. But when they went away to live their lives, she realized that
“So she packed and left?”
“Pretty much,” he said with a shrug, remembering her there, waiting with her suitcase and her coat on.
“Did you try to stop her?”
“She didn’t want to be stopped.”
“Maybe she wanted you to go with her?”
He was silent, like it was a possibility he hadn’t considered.
“Well, its too late now,” he said finally.
“It’s never too late, Ford. Not after so many years. Not if you still love her. You should retire and go after her.”
“Yeah, right. What am I if I’m not a cop?”
“Maybe it’s time to find out.”
More silence as the hospital grew closer and loomed before them. Ford glanced over at her. She wondered if she’d stepped over a line with him. But she’d never been very good at staying inside the lines or keeping her opinions to herself.
“Sometimes, you know,” he said, “you’re so busy being yourself, so selfish, that you forget about the people who depend on you, who love you. You just walk through your life creating damage. By the time you notice, you feel too old, too tired to undo the mess you’ve made and there’s no turning back anyway.”
Lydia looked at the road ahead thinking what a sad way to have to look back at your life. She wondered if he was right.
“But you can always move forward,” she said. Ford shrugged and gave a polite nod as if he weren’t convinced but wanted the conversation to end. The conversation withered between them, leaving them both feeling a little worse than they’d felt before it started.
Ford took a right onto an access road. The snow was falling more heavily now, lightly blanketing the trees that surrounded them as far as she could see. They were in the middle of nowhere, which Lydia guessed was a good location for a place that housed dangerously insane criminals. She looked out the passenger window into woods and saw a high metal fence topped with razor wire running along the side of the road, almost invisible through the trees.
Of course, the reality of the hospital was nowhere near her twisted imagining of it. Originally built in the late 1800s, the New York State Facility for the Criminally Insane sat on nearly three hundred acres of heavily wooded land. The first mental hospital in New York and one of the first in the country, NYSFCI was remarkable for its history and its architecture. The main building, closed but still standing on the grounds, was designed by Captain William Clarke. The 550-foot-long edifice with its immense Doric columns was still imposing and grand, meant to exude an aura of authority and stability. And the rest of the buildings were a hodgepodge of different architectural styles, all unified by their gated windows and aura of pain.
Over the years the hospital endured a number of different incarnations. Initially it housed only civil commitments, people who were mentally ill but not necessarily dangerous. When violent and escape-prone convicts began to arrive from local prisons there in the 1950s, the institution became overburdened and a new building was erected on the same grounds for insane convicts. But even with the additions, the hospital became dangerously overcrowded.
It was closed briefly in the 1970s due to budget cuts and allegations of patient abuse and administrative corruption. But the prison systems became so overwhelmed with mentally ill prisoners that the hospital opened again in 1985. Just in time to provide a bed for Jed McIntyre. This was not a place people went to get well. It was a place intended to warehouse and manage people too ill for prison or society, though, of course, no one would ever officially admit that.
Two armed and uniformed guards manned the booth beside the mammoth metal gates that separated the hospital from the rest of the world. Lydia could see another in a tower high above them, the silhouette of a rifle visible from the ground. The younger of the two guards approached the car and Ford handed over his ID and shield. The man returned to the guardhouse and could be seen picking up a phone and briefly speaking into the receiver.
“Proceed to the visitors’ entrance,” the guard said when he returned to the car, handing back Ford’s identification.
The giant gate slid open and Ford drove forward, pausing before a second gate. The first gate closed with a heavy clang and Lydia looked behind her. She took a deep breath as the second gate opened and they drove up the road.
The odor in the tunnels was hard to describe except that it smelled so strongly of human rot and dank earth that it made Jeffrey’s eyes water. The two men forged their way through the darkness, behind the beam of Dax’s Maglite. Jeffrey held one hand over his mouth and nose against the odor and kept his other on the wall to his right. A strange crunching suddenly beneath their feet prompted Dax to shine the flashlight beam to the floor. Cockroaches the size of hamsters formed a writhing, skittering carpet on the ground.
“Holy Christ. I fucking hate bugs,” said Dax. “Ah, God. I wish I’d just left the light off.” They picked up their pace a bit and Jeff fought the urge to scratch every inch of his body.
“Do you have any idea where we’re going?” asked Jeffrey, glancing behind him at the fading shaft of light that marked their entrance. He tried not to think about the fact that if anything happened to them down here, they might never be found.
“There should be a stairway coming up,” said Dax. “Someone is supposed to meet us.”
“Another one of your mysterious contacts?”
“Something like that.”
“And what does this person know?”
“Well, we won’t find that out until we talk to her, will we?” said Dax.
In the distance, the acoustics of the tunnels making it impossible to tell if noise came from above or below, from in front or behind, they could hear the sound of voices. Briefly, Jeffrey swore he heard the sound of someone playing a flute. The tune was mournful and slow, melodic. Some diffused light made its way down from the gratings above them, enough so they could make out doorways, shapes in the darkness but not enough to really see. The wall was cool and wet beneath Jeffrey’s hand. A dripping could be heard from somewhere and twice something had brushed past his shoe. The Glock at his waist gave him no sense of security at all. They were underneath the world and reality felt suspended. Bullets couldn’t stop shadows.
“This is worse than I imagined it would be,” said Dax.
“No
“Figures an animal like Jed McIntyre would make a lair in a place like this,” said Dax. “I couldn’t think of a better place for him.”
“I can,” said Jeff.
