Street where a black sedan picked me up and whisked me to Universal Studios or other locations, to work for Bob filming porn. The sedan took me through a chain link fence and past a security booth where the driver had to stop and check in with the guard to gain clearance to the lot. Then he dropped me off in front of a very plain-looking building, with just a door to it. There were wooden step platforms up to the door.
Bob often watched while pornography was filmed. They usually filmed at night so they would have, 'more freedom,' as Bob would say. Men at the studios, wearing t-shirts and jeans, dressed me in all kinds of sexy garments and made my body up with all kinds of make-up. One night a man handed me a beautiful, thick wooden and gold hanger from which hung a small teddy made of nothing but a series of vertical strips of ribbon that created a see-through effect. Bob followed me into the dressing room while I slipped on black stockings, garter belt, heels and then the teddy. The black-ribboned teddy was belted at the waist but I was naked underneath and you could see through and between all the ribbons. I was instructed to lay out and get a suntan before filming, and I wasn't allowed to have tan lines on my back or shoulders. They put makeup on my breasts so I would appear tan all over. The make up they put on my body was really put on heavy and was very itchy and uncomfortable. The oily kind was less itchy but didn't stay on as well as the drier type. There was another man who did my hair, often in curls or in a side ponytail. They used curling irons and designed all sorts of hair creations. I just sat there while they chose how I would appear; my hair, nails, toenails, make-up, and costumes. And then, I did whatever they told me to do. Finally, they draped me with whatever jewelry they decided on. At times body jewels were glued onto my body. Once they glued little sparkly rhinestones all over my skin and filmed me in a skimpy white bikini- type outfit. The costumes were always different, unique and original. Bob wanted me to be like Dorothy Lamour, but I didn't know who she was. He talked about lots of old actresses that I'd never heard of. There were lights and cameras all over the place in the halls, and backstage was full of all sorts of costumes on racks. Bob liked pornography with feathers so he had a man work with me on the act, including songs and dances. Bob said it was, 'porn for the sophisticates, not just for low-lifers.' Bob saw pornography as an art form and went into a very deeply loving, emotional mode while it was filmed. When they finished filming that's when he wanted me the most.
Another man was assigned to 'work me up,' training me for the act. This porn was filmed Hollywood-style all the way, with glitter, diamonds, flair, special props and stage lighting. I usually sang beforehand and Bob made sure that I had a pre-recorded voice tape so I could sing but not have to be concerned with putting power behind my voice while I was doing the sexual acts. The whole show was directed by another man who told the male porn actor and I what to do. The prop man listened to the director and moved props all around, while the camera and lights men fell in line. There were many different themes and many nights when pornography was filmed. One night Bob showed Hugh Hefner some of his porn in the back room at one of Bob's parties. I was in the room, but Bob acted like I wasn't real or really there. I was.
In my late teens and early 20's I was taken aboard U.S. Navy aircraft carriers when Bob was doing a show on his USO tours, to 'entertain the troops.' I had several personalities who were specially trained to sing and dance, and many personalities who were expertly trained to dance and strip. Usually Bob and I were flown into a base and then helicoptered the rest of the way to the ship.
On tour with Bob there were large bands, with lots of music and lights. Red, white, and blue banners decorated the stage where we performed. Sailors stood packed together to watch the show.
If the media was there Bob totally controlled what they captured on camera, what segments could be filmed, and when they had to leave. One time when I came out on stage, they began shooting my part, and after the show Bob had a huge fit (he could be very temperamental) and threatened to break their equipment on the spot if they didn't give him the film. They gave him the film. This way Bob controlled what was shown to the general public.
The shows usually took place on the outside decks. Professional make-up artists made up my whole body. For one show, I was dressed in a white 'navy' dress, only it wasn't like the regular standard uniforms the women in the navy wore. It was a specially sewn costume, short and extra feminine with lace top and scoop neckline. I had special white lace panties with little anchors on them. For one show I sang Anchors Away after which Bob would 'joke them!'
What the «boys» didn't know was that Bob knew how to control their emotions with certain specific words and phrases and songs. He knew how to 'lighten them up,' get them really «emotional» and worked up, and then he would slip in suggestions, keyed to programs, that 'helped them with certain unwanted attitudes.' I overheard the Council making jokes about the «herds» (the troops) and how stupid and easily led they were.
At the shows where I was present, singing usually came first, then Bob's jokes, and then another song and dance. Once I did a semi-strip dance, never 'took it all off' for 'the boys.' In order to project a semblance of 'wholesomeness, I just stripped down to skimpy bras and panties, and also took off my heels, dress, nylons and garter belt. I was instructed to wear those for 'the effect' of taking them all off.
After shows, sometimes I was taken to the Admiral's and/or Captain's quarters to further «entertain» him in the privacy of his room. These officers displayed attitudes created by years and years of being honored with medals and ribbons for 'service to the country.' The Council often slipped messages to Naval officers, through me, possibly without the officers' knowledge.
I never knew my exact location; I was not allowed to know. We entertained the Air Force and Army, also, but I was used more often with the Navy.
Bob took me to a specific recording studio in Southern California to pre-record the songs I was to sing before doing a show for 'the troops.' In the recording studio, I wore headphones that played back into my ears the music I was singing so that I could stay in tune. I enjoyed singing and the studios could make anyone's voice sound good, but Bob liked me to sing soft, breathy, high and sexy. Sometimes, in the beginning, he would sit just outside the recording room where he could hear the music and would cue me so we could get it just right.
138 Once I was programmed to sing The Star Spangled Banner, in a really sexy manner for the troops. When it was time to sing it live, they played the tape and I sang along, because it was hard to sing and dance at the same time and maintain good voice quality. In this way, I could put my all into dancing, splits and all, without being concerned with the song. (You can imagine my amazement when I began healing and integrating personalities and discovered I could do the splits! I never consciously knew that I could do that.)
I found the lights that shone on us while performing to be blinding. Bob taught me to not look into them but to look past them so they would not bother me so much.
Another time when I went with Bob to entertain the troops, they wrapped me in an American flag. I had on a tiny sparkling, red, white, and blue lacey bikini and sparkling red high heels. Two soldiers, in green army uniforms and boots held me up, one holding onto my feet and the other holding me up around my shoulders. As they turned me, the flag unfolded off of me and slowly I was unfurled to bright lights and lots of soldiers yelling, whistling and cheering. In addition to the entertainment, this was part of my 'spin programming. Bob had the microphone and had been telling jokes, but stopped as they unrolled me. He pointed to me while the drums rolled. When I was unfurled, they played The Stripper and I danced around while all of the guys cheered.
For other shows, I had a feather plume on my bottom that went up my back. The costumes were always different. I rolled around on the floor, did the splits and 'spread 'em,' as instructed, for the boys. Sometimes I sang, sometimes I just danced, and sometimes for smaller private audiences, I stripped all the way. And there were times I was just there to dance seductively for Bob's personal and private pleasure later on in the evening.
After the show, some man would put a prod or stun gun to my forehead. I totally collapsed into his arms and he carried me over and laid me down until it was time to leave. The physical sensation I experienced was a jolt of white-hot electricity, and then I felt very, very cold. This was the reaction to the electroshock. The man delivering the electricity also delivered programming to me. Before and after he zapped me, he said, 'You are fat and ugly and no man could ever be attracted to you.' As commanded, I carried the belief that I was fat and ugly and I never would have believed I was attractive enough to perform on stage, had I begun to remember. They would zap me with electroshock either on the forehead, the base of my skull, or on my back or thighs. For some reason on this occasion, Bob laughed just before they zapped me. He had some goon do it — he rarely did.
I was often in very poor condition when we were helicoptered away and Bob laughed and made excuses for my listlessness, saying things like, 'Ah, don't worry about her, the kid's just had too much to drink.' Truth was I wasn't even allowed to drink, not even water. My physical reactions were all from the aftereffects of the
