accompanied him to different places with his friends and business associates. I couldn't think to question what Dolores thought her husband did!
Bob introduced me to many of his «famous» friends. At gatherings, with one arm around me he would elbow the guys and say, 'Why would I want to be with an ole' bag like Dolores, when I can have this?' And his friends would laugh and nod in agreement.
Although my programming kept these activities hidden from my conscious mind, later I would wake up late in the mornings in my own bed in Woodland Hills, with burning, red eyes, feeling totally exhausted, after what I thought was a full night's sleep. I was not able to understand that the exhaustion was actually caused by food, water, and sleep deprivation, coupled with drugs and electroshock for programming purposes.
Bob had lots of security at his home in Palm Springs. The lights on the outside of his house came on at night automatically when a car approached. He also had numerous security alarms and systems in the house even a television monitor like Reagan had at his ranch. When I arrived, he would sit me on the bed and he would sit in the chair and say, 'Okay, let me hear it.' And I'd rattle off what Henry Kissinger told me to tell him.
Bob didn't have all the sophisticated numerical codes to my mind files that Henry did. Henry wanted it that way. I overheard Henry speak out loud to himself in front of me, saying, 'I want you to be security safe.' Henry put into my system of reporting personalities instructions to tell him if Bob tried anything out of line. I was instructed to report to Henry if Bob tried to access information he wasn't involved in and wasn't suppose to be privy to. Henry said, 'It's none of his business.'
Dolores Hope was elderly when Bob was fooling around with me; so was he, since he was nearly fifty years my senior. She did not like it when I was around and, unfortunately, Bob didn't have much of an excuse for my presence, unlike Reagan. Reagan could say I was his secretary or aide, but Bob told his wife he was spending lots of time with me to 'groom me' for the shows for the boys.
I can remember hearing Dolores nagging at him while I was still there one morning after a party in Palm Springs. He lied and told her I was there with some other man at the party. Not that I did not have sex frequently with many of his friends and business associates, but this time I had not. When Dolores confronted him on these issues, Bob would stand behind her, and like a child, made faces insinuating she was going on and on and on and he was bored to tears. He heard her out, mimicking her behind her back, and then we would leave for the golf course together. But, to her face, he always played it cool, acted lovey, and sent her off shopping or vacationing. Bob called Dolores «dear» a lot. He would tell her he had to introduce me to some of his business associates so I would get to know the ropes. It was all a front, just a cover to use me for sex. Although I did meet a lot of businessmen and friends of Bob's and I did go with him, at times, to rehearse for the shows and do the voice-over tapes for some of the tours, most of it was for his sexual pleasure and to show his old friends that he could still get 'the young stuff.'
I certainly was never there by choice. I was a complete slave, under total mind control, with no ability to choose consciously for myself what or where I wanted to be, or even to know who I really was! I did not consciously know that I was being used in these ways. I simply thought that I was a normal student and I continued to carry the belief to my marriage bed that I was a virgin.
At times, the entertainer, Phyllis Diller, was at Bob's parties. She was really loud. She did not particularly care for me and just brushed me aside. She was always joking. Phyllis and Bob came up with one joke after another. Once when I was smiling adoringly at Bob, she yelled at me, 'Wipe that smile off your face.' Then she laughed that real loud laugh, and it frightened me. Bob told me not to pay attention to 'that ole' bag,' so I tried not to, but she was so loud it was hard to ignore her. I tried to avoid Phyllis Diller's disapproval at all costs.
At one time, Bob's bedroom was decorated in a large floral print with creme-colored background. He had a wooden bed frame and nightstands and a large closet. Sometimes there were fresh flowers placed in the room or one on the pillow. Bob usually had a new nightie waiting on the bed for me to wear and sometimes there were satin sheets on the bed. A drawer in his room was filled with all sorts of sexy panties, bras, nighties, and so on, and he said they were there just for me. He always went to the drawer and selected what I was to wear. He also had clothes in the back of his closet that were just my size. I don't know who bought them, but they always fit me. I was usually programmed to maintain a 'perfect size six,' although there were times I fell below that and wore a size two or four. My weight was within 99-102 Ibs. in those days and I was 5 5' tall. 'Young and lovely,' he would say.
Since deprogramming and speaking out publicly, I've met other programmed sex slaves who were also with Bob. Most likely we were all programmed to be the same size, and Bob just said the clothes were for me, but they were available for a number of his girls. Bob preferred 18–20 year olds.
Bob had an average size penis. Sometimes Bob frightened me during sex, when he got aggressive, but he never physically hurt me. He «let» me do everything sexually I was trained and programmed to do, but he liked to orgasm in his own way. Then he would go to sleep. As he got older, he got meaner and stranger and subconsciously I hated him. There was a small metal high voltage cattle prod that Bob would insert in my vagina at times. He used that on me after sex late at night when we were in bed. After that it was 'lights out' and I didn't remember anything else.
Bob slapped me at times, if I got out of line, which was also part of a program to stay in line. When I got slapped, I would switch into a different personality and then I would be happier, more «congenial» he would say, and he would lift my chin and kiss me. Once when he was mad at me for some infraction of the rules, Bob yelled, 'You're just a wind up doll — a toy for my pleasure, and don't forget it!'
Bob referred to me in my earlier teenage years as his 'little bunny.' He was friends with Hugh Hefner and Hugh came to Bob's parties sometimes. He always brought at least two women with him, usually blondes.
Starlite was my personality that Bob named to become his 'starlet.' He told Starlite, and other people when I was on his 'arm,' that he was giving me a 'leg up' into the industry. My instructions were that Starlite was to wear her hair parted on the side with it combed down over one eye for a sexy look. She was to act very sexy. When Bob took me to parties he would tell everyone he was showing me the ropes, that I had endless talent and potential in the industry.
Bob took me to several of Hugh Hefner's penthouse parties in Los Angeles. On one of these occasions, Bob went all out on his outfit. He wore a grey suit and ascot with a white tux shirt and a grey top hat and white gloves. He looked 'dapper' but old to me, though his clothes were perfect — not one wrinkle. There was a door panel, with small silver buttons on it that you had to push in a certain sequence to gain access to Hefner's penthouse. Bob knew the numerical code. I watched the perfectly manicured hand that stretched out of his clean, neat, white starched shirt sleeve go out from his black jacket as he punched in the sequence.
The elevator up to Hefner's had mirrors and Bob said, 'You look nice tonight, honey.'
'Thanks, Bob.' I replied as he took my elbow from behind and said as he turned me around, 'Look into the mirror. You can see yourself over and over and over again without end. Like a file, we will slip one out of a slot or like in the jukebox when one record is selected. This evening I want to select a sexy prom girl who is beautiful, intelligent, and submissive. Sexy is always the most important quality. Do you understand?' After I slowly nodded my head yes, he continued, 'You are to stay close by my side this evening. There will be no intermissions so don't ask for any. You will simply stay close to my side. Is everything understood?'
I smiled and said yes. Next he turned me away from the 'infinity mirror' used for 'reminding' me in order to select from one of my many personalities, and we went through the elevator door as it opened moments later.
My dress made crackling noises as I walked and I had a matching black cape. When we arrived I handed my wrap to the doorman, a tall handsome man in a tux. And he, in turn, handed it to another man and replied, 'This is for the lady with Bob.'
Holding my cape, the older doorman looked me in the eye, and bowing his head said, 'Ma'am,' before leaving with my cape and Bob's show cane.
Bob took my arm and guided me over to the fireplace where a zebra painted girl walked through the fire without being burned. Her naked voluptuous body was painted all over with thick black and white paint stripes. The paint gave an appearance of dress but you could clearly see that she was naked. She smiled at Bob and continued dancing in very seductive poses within a very small area. She had a very haunting faraway look in her eyes.
There were windows all around and at night you could see a breathtaking panoramic view of all the pretty twinkling lights of the city below. They looked like jewels on a black velvet background. Bob told me that when I
